Girls

Please maintain contact with your luggage at all times

All unattended baggage will be confiscated.

Excus... excus... excus... are you s... are you serious?!

You couldn't wait like one... one second

for me to exit this moving walkway?

This country is bullshit, okay.

Nobody has any manners, and you wanna know why? Do you wanna know why?

'Cause you're all so self-involved and self-serving

and your behavior here today, sir,

was a perfect embodiment of that truth, okay?

Why am I here?

Why am I here?

Okay, I do not love that the toilet's in the shower.

Small price to pay for freedom, buddy.

I've been eating Bugles my whole life

and I still don't even know if I like them. It's just, like, something to do.

Ah, I love this. We are on the road.

We can do whatever we want for the whole summer.

And it's just us.

It is just us.

For the next three months.

We don't have to deal with the kids or the administration

or... Elijah or your needy friends.

It's just us.

Be right back, babe.

_

_

Hello?

What the hell's going on?

I don't want to go on the trip. I think you should just go without me.

Hannah, what the hell? I'm coming in.

Listen, I really didn't want to go on the trip,

but I didn't want to be a wet blanket, and then you rented the house car, okay?

And just please don't come in here.

- Hannah, it's me. - Nope.

Are you serious?

I really don't want you to come in here.

Hannah, open the door.

Hey. Why are you running from me?

Hannah.

What the...?

- I am not a monster. - Define monster!

Tell me what is going on.

I don't want to be in this relationship anymore

and I don't know how to get out!

Well... Ow! Shit!

Will you just stop so I can

- talk to you, please? - No!

- I feel like I'm hunting you. I feel - Leave me alone!

like this is "The Most Dangerous Game."

- Please! - Come on.

- Just stop... oh! Eh! - Shit.

Are you all right?

Could you please just stop?

- Stay away, okay? - Just stop running

and talk to me like an adult.

Please, I don't want to talk, okay?

I don't want to do this.

I don't belong with you.

I'm sorry. Please go.

Fuck!

This is ridiculous.

Fine! We are breaking up, I guess. That's it.

So, let me drive you back to the city.

- Let's go. - I'll be fine here, okay?

I can't get back in the house car.

I am offering to take you back.

That's just me being a nice person, all right?

God, you're so fucking selfish.

Please, just go, Fran.

You know what? My brother thought

you were so fuckin' rude, and he was right.

He fucking handwrote a letter saying how rude you were.

That's how much he meant it.

I can't believe I wasted an entire year

hanging out with your rude ass.

Seriously.

You know what? Have a great summer, okay?

Fuck you.

Fuck you!

Okay.

Hey, what's up?

Um, I'm by the side of the road in some random part of upstate New York.

- That's what's up. - Wait, what?

- Where's Fran? - We broke up.

Can you get a Zipcar and come get me?

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I want to hear all about it later,

but right now we're recording and our tour manager

needs to get an entire demo set to our gig. So...

Marnie, what does any of that even mean?

Please just come get me.

I'm sorry, I can't. I wish I could help.

Why don't you just call an Uber?

No, I got kicked off the app for having too low a rating. You know that.

Well, I would ask Desi if one of his loser fake artiste friends with a car

wants to do it for a little bit of extra cash,

but he isn't talking to me right now because he's a child.

The only time he looks at me when we're together is when we're singing.

Why don't you ask Ray? Didn't he just get, like, a truck or something?

The last thing I need is a lecture from Ray

about my, like, lifestyle choices, okay?

Just good luck with your hit album.

Okay, I love you, I'm so...

You've reached Jessa. If this is an emergency,

you should hang up and dial 9-1-1. I really don't listen to my messages.

Go fuck yourself.

Let's see who's coming to see us.

Let's see who's coming to see us.

Oh, hey, Tall Adam. What are you doing here?

I've been calling Caroline a bunch and she hasn't called me back.

Just want to make sure everything's okay.

That is very cool of you, man. Very cool of you.

But we're all good here. We're all good here, right?

Just plucking away, keeping little Sample alive.

You're sticking with the nickname Sample, huh?

Oh, yeah. I mean, she is sample-sized, right?

Sometimes I call her Samps.

- Pete Sampras. - Where's Caroline?

That would be the question of the day, my man. That is the question of the day.

She went out three days ago to get some pepitas,

and I guess she's still looking for 'em.

What?

Pepitas, those toasted

- pumpkin seeds? Kind of a Mexican... - No, no, no, no, no.

She's been gone three days?

Yeah, yeah. I've been, ah, you know, starting to wonder

if I should get worried, but I think she's fine.

Yes, Laird, you should be worried.

Where the fuck could she have gone?

Hard to say, right?

Oh, here comes Uncle Adam. He's coming to say hi.

What the fuck!

What the fuck?

to get up here.

Put a lot of unnecessary miles on this baby.

Thank you so much, Ray.

Well, what am I gonna do, let you rot out here like a piece of fruit?

Plus, I know how much you hate being outdoors.

Ray, you're the truest and most loving friend I've ever had.

Okay, that's sad.

Do you think I made a mistake breaking up with Fran?

Listen, Hannah, if you have the impulse to run away in your pajamas,

that's a pretty strong indicator that it's not working out.

You gotta respect your instincts, you know? Trust your gut.

You know?

What... what are you doing?

I'm just trying to give you something

to say thank you for how kind you've been to me.

Hannah, you really don't have to, uh...

It's okay. Just relax, okay?

Yeah, but you don't have to...

Oh, Jesus.

Okay, um... uh, I don't think this is good for our friendship.

Ray, I just need you to relax and "enjoi" the journey.

Right, maybe we can just talk about this for a second.

I don't want to talk because I've got a dick in my mouth.

I just need you to relax and try to be present in the moment.

Okay, I'm trying to relax.

And you just tell me what you like and just let me do it to you.

- Is this... is this okay? - Don't touch the top of my head.

I really don't like that. That's very triggering for me.

Just try mixing it up down there.

- Okay. - Different energy or something.

Okay, that's...

_

Ah!

Fuck!

What the fuck happened?

All right, here's the last few websites she was on.

Rihanna's Oprah interview.

Now, do you say "Riahna" or do you say "Rianna"?

If... if... "Riahna."

"Riahna"? That's what I say.

A lot of people say "Rianna." I think they're wrong.

Joey Pepperoni menu.

Ah, Wesley Snipes' Wikipedia page.

There's not, like, a place that you guys leave little, ah...

little... l-l-l... little notes for each other?

What, like the fridge?

Yeah, like the fridge.

Hey, man, you ever see, ah, "Passenger 57"?

Isn't that awesome? It was funny, man.

"Always bet on black," man. That's cool.

That's a cool dude, man. You ever see "Demolition Man"?

I had a haircut like that once. It was pretty sweet.

Hey, man! Hey!

Just be cool with my fridge, dude!

There's a note under your fridge.

Oh, yeah, that's,. ah... where my Wailers tickets ended up.

"Dearest Mouse." I'm Mouse.

"It is with a heavy heart...

and tortured soul

that I write these words.

Since the birth of Sample,

which was and still remains my greatest achievement,

I've been racked with inexplicable guilt and shame.

My mind has been infected by horrendous thoughts,

a desire...

to hurt little Sample...