The Intern

Freud said, "Love and work. Work and love.

"That's all there is."

Well, I'm retired, and my wife is dead.

As you can imagine, that's given me

some time on my hands.

My wife's been gone for three and a half years.

I miss her in every way.

And retirement? That is an ongoing,

relentless effort in creativity.

At first, I admit I enjoyed the novelty of it.

Sort of felt like I was playing hooky.

I used all the miles I'd saved and traveled the globe.

The problem was, no matter where I went,

as soon as I got home, the nowhere-to-be thing

hit me like a ton of bricks.

I realized the key

to this whole deal was to keep moving.

Get up, get out of the house, and go somewhere. Anywhere.

Come rain or shine, I'm at my Starbucks by 7:15.

Excuse me, mind if we join you here?

Hey, how are ya?

Can't explain it,

but it makes me feel part of something.

These guys today, they're not numbers guys.

Don't talk figures with them.

How do I spend the rest of my days?

You name it. Golf, books, movies, pinochle.

Tried yoga, learned to cook,

bought some plants, took classes in Mandarin.

Translation, "Believe me, I've tried everything."

And then, of course, there are the funerals.

So many more than I could imagine.

The only traveling I do these days is out to San Diego

to visit my son and his family.

They're great. I love 'em to pieces.

But to be honest, I think I probably relied on them

way more than I should.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not an unhappy person.

Quite the contrary.

I just know there's a hole in my life,

and I need to fill it.

Soon.

Which brings me to today, when I was leaving the market

and caught your flyer out of the corner of my eye.

Hmm.

"Seniors, be an intern."

Ben,

I thought that was you. Hi.

- Hey. - What'd you find?

I think an Internet place is looking for senior interns.

- Am I reading this right? - Let me see.

"Applicants must be over 65 years of age,

"have organizational skills,

"a genuine interest in e-commerce," whatever that is,

"and a roll-up-your-sleeves attitude."

isn't that the outfit that was...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They bought one of those old factories in Red Hook.

My daughter says they sell clothes on the Internet.

How that works, I have no idea.

Well, you have to upload the application.

That could be challenging. Listen to this,

"Cover letters are so old-fashioned.

"Show us who you are with a cover-letter video.

"Upload your video to YouTube or Vimeo

"using .mov, .avi, or a .mpg file.

"We look forward to meeting you."

Well, I guess that's meeting me.

I swear I don't even know what language that was.

What are you doing tonight, Ben?

A frozen lasagna?

I could make a little salad, turn it into a dinner for two,

like we did that time and never did again.

You know that was over five months ago?

Oh, yeah. No, no, we gotta do that again, for sure,

but okay if we take a rain check?

You're awful cute, you know that?

No, I didn't.

Well, it's true, you are. So I'll see you.

Don't take too long, doll.

You're not getting any younger.

- I know, I know, I know. - All right.

So here I am,

applying to be one of your interns

because the more I think about this idea,

the more tremendous I think it is.

I love the idea of having a place I can go every day.

I want the connection, the excitement.

I wanna be challenged,

and I guess I might even wanna be needed.

The tech stuff might take a bit to figure out.

I had to call my 9-year-old grandson

just to find out what a USB connector was.

But I'll get there. Eager to learn.

Also, I want you to know

I've been a company man all my life.

I'm loyal, I'm trustworthy, and I'm good in a crisis.

And I love that you're right here in Brooklyn.

I've lived here all my life, and lately I feel

I may not be hip enough to live in Brooklyn,

so this could help with that, too.

I read once, musicians don't retire.

They stop when there's no more music in them.

Well, I still have music in me,

absolutely positive about that.

Good news, I found a size eight in navy.

No, you are right.

That package should have arrived by now.

Let me track that for you.

Yep, these pants are awesome if you have hips.

Super slimming.

Okay, let me just review this with you.

You have six bridesmaids.

You ordered six of the silk chiffon

Antoinette dresses in pink.

The wedding is in three days,

and the dresses just arrived all in charcoal gray,

which we don't even sell, so that is a bit of a mystery.

Okay, here's what we're gonna do about this.

I am gonna call the vendor and have this fixed today.

I will personally see the dresses

before they are FedExed,

and I promise you they will be at your front door

by 9:00 a.m. Friday, okay?

You know what, let me give you my cell just in case,

718-555-0199.

Oh, thank you so much for your patience,

and I am gonna refund you back all your money. It's the...

Yes.

Okay, hey, you check this one off your list, okay?

This is done.

And, Rachel, have a great wedding.

Oh, my God, how did that happen?

Jules?

I know, I know, I'm late for something.

Yeah, everything.

You see why I take customer service calls?

I mean, it's so good. You learn so much.

Okay, what's up? What am I doing?

Okay, Cameron was waiting for you, but had another meeting.

He said he'll be back at 2:00.

Um, everyone needs you to sign off

- on tomorrow's homepage. - Right.

And your 11:00 is in the big conference room.

So is your 11:10. Finance needs you,

and I guess you e-mailed a bunch of people

at 4:00 a.m. about something?

Oh, good, I forgot about that.

I want to figure out a way for friends

to shop together online.

Make it less of an alone thing.

E-mail me that idea, will you?

Yeah, I like that.

Um, is now a good time to call your mom back?

- Dude, I'm on a bike. Happy birthday!

Oh!

Oh, what a mess.

This is the middle of the office. Don't do...

Don't put that...

Hello. - Hi.

I'm Ben Whittaker. I received an e-mail

about an interview for the senior intern program.

Hey, Ben. How's it goin'?

It's going good, real good. Thank you.

Excellent. Take a seat around the corner,

and someone from talent acquisition will come get you.

Thank you.

"Talent acquisition"?

Okay, you guys have to remember,

the homepage has to read in a glance.

Also, you have to get back like this if you wanna see

what it looks like if you're, like, over 35.

Okay, so I can't read anything,

but if I could, what do you want me to see?

"Five Girls, One Shirt" or "Check Out The Fit"?

Well, both, but what I really want you to see

is the shirt worn by five different body types.

Okay, then you gotta make me see that.

Try making the photo grid bigger.

I love that five. Can we make it more graphic?

Yeah, that's cool.

Maybe hero the girl in the red shirt.

- Jules... - That is a great red.

It is going to fly outta here.

I needed you to sign off on this, like, two hours ago.

I know, I know, but can you try?

Yep.

Mia? Tell me that thing again.

Oh, 40% of our visitors don't go past the homepage,

which isn't so bad.

Yeah, but we should fix that.

Okay, here you go.

I love it.

- Great, and it's up. - Okay. Thanks, everybody.

Thank you.

Okay, so...

The Antoinette dress. Major screw-up by the vendor.

There's gonna be a couple of interviews today, Ben.

We wanna make sure that we both find the right fit.

"Business as usual" is not really our motto,