The Debt Collector

I've looked under chairs.

I've looked under tables.

I try to find the key to 50 million fables.

They call me the seeker.

I've been searching low and high.

I won't get to get what I'm after till the day I die.

Were you a bagger, girly?

Because I was thinking you might be

a working man down on his luck.

I was thinking maybe you had a wee bit of dignity.

But if you had any dignity, you'd have

settled your debt with me, eh?

So maybe I was wrong.

Maybe you're just a low-life beggar, trying

to get something for nothing.

Huh?

Is that what you are?

Because if you're not a beggar, you're

just plain taking the fuck.

And I don't need to tell you what we do to people

that take the fuck, do I?

I don't need to tell you what our policy is, do I?

OK.

So, here's a question.

Where's my fucking money?

Nickie-- just listen, now.

I cannot pay you today.

But what I can do-- what I can do--

is arrest you on suspicion of the murder

of Kenneth Sutherland.

And you're right-- I was taking the fuck.

You're getting slow, Nickie.

Or maybe it only works some old folk and .

Honey, these, this, um-- this one--

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

These sculptures, yeah?

You're doing well, aren't you?

We can't just leave this.

Relax.

They're loving it.

They don't look it.

That's how I know.

Who's that?

Harry Chambers.

Big shot in the Arts Council.

A year ago he wouldn't have given

me the steam of his shite.

Well, we've a wee bit more ambition now, haven't we?

Where are you going?

To get a drink.

Nickie, it's all right.

You worked for this.

Look-- you made all this.

So, was it because you were in so much turmoil at the time?

Is that how you came up with all these sculptures?

No.

Well, it didn't come from any kind of, uh-- angst thing.

I was more just visualizing stuff from the outside, really.

Oh, right.

I see.

You know, things I wanted around me.

I mean, I never thought it would

end up anything like this.

Ever. This is, uh--

Katrina.

Katrina.

She's an art student.

Hi.

Duncan's about to do his thing.

Aye.

Well, good luck with those exam things.

Thanks very much.

Well, well, well.

What a change.

Oh?

Oh, I don't know.

Suddenly you look every inch the artist.

Hello.

Well, first off, I want to thank you

all for, ah-- for coming here.

Personally, I think that this is as good a first collection

as I have seen in recent years.

But we should not shy away from the circumstances

of the artist, either.

I think what this exhibition's existence proves

is that how civilized we are as a society can be measured

not only by how justly we punish,

but also by how fully we forgive.

Fancy fucking words.

Craig, would you want to escort this gentleman out?

Call the police.

He is the police.

Landed on your feet, then, Nickie?

How's your cell?

Not too good, to tell you the truth.

My is repeating on me, what

with all this talk of forgiveness.

Now, don't get me wrong, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm all for forgiveness.

But, here's the thing.

Ah. Isn't that shocking?

How could he do that to your work of art?

Well, in 1976, your star here did exactly that

to a 60-year-old woman because her husband

owed his boss 25 pound.

Oh, yes.

I'm all for forgiveness.

May have paid your debt to these fine people, Nickie.

But your own folk have been waiting on you.

I'm sorry.

Don't be.

You love the work.

It's not you who looks at fault. So,

this Keltie-- he's the one who actually arrested you?

And you've not seen him since?

Then what's his problem?

A lot of folk got a problem with me.

Duncan wants to press charges.

I'm not pressing charges.

Come on, Nickie.

He ruined that sculpture.

I don't care.

I'm not having that stuff dug up again.

Listen, Val, all that stuff about the old woman--

that's not what happened.

I mean-- that is what happened.

But that's not the way it happened.

Oh, come on, Picasso.

Hm?

Let's go home.

What are you fucking looking at, you rod?

Do you want a 40?

Who are you?

You owe me a tenner, you cunt.

Me?

Yeah, well, I'm looking at you, eh?

Now, where's my fucking tenner, huh?

What tenner?

The tenner I gave you on loan, eh?

You never lent me a tenner.

Just give me my fucking tenner, and we'll roll.

I don't have your tenner.

Are you calling me a fucking liar?

Where's my tenner, pal?

Huh?

I'll fucking knock you about, by the way, yeah?

I don't know what you're talking about.

I'll fucking knock you out.

Just give me a little tenner, you old man.

John, just give him some money.

No, I'm not.

I don't owe you any money.

Just--

I don't owe you any money.

Just get me my money, eh?

I've never met you before.

Come on.

Look, pal, I don't know what you're talking about.

All right, OK. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Give me my fucking money, huh?

Just leave us alone.

Come on!

Flipper, man, come on.

Leave it.

It's not their fault.

Please!

I'm just having a laugh, like.

Fuck's sake!

Please!

Please

Hey, do you want a-fucking-nother, lad?

Does she want another?

Please!

Give us the fucking money, or she gets another!

This is all I've got, man!

This is all I've got!

That's every I've got, man.

That's right.

Who was that cunt, then?

The fuck did you do that for?

I was just trying something out.

And a fucking lassie?

He's livid.

Shh.

Oh, come on, eh?

Get back to your desks.

I, the great Mysterioso, predict a new partner

in Colquhoun's life.

And good riddance to the miserable old prick.

You know he's a prick.

You said it yourself.

Come back here!

What?

Gary, what did he say?

He says we're supposed to sit by while that bunch

of toffee nosed tits make a hero out of a piece

of shite like Nickie Dryden.

Well, he may be a piece of shite,