Suraj Pe Mangal Bhari (सूरज पे मंगल भारी)

Sukhi, is the stable visible?

Yes, bro.

Then start recording.

Hello, Peeps!

I am Suraj Singh Dhillon, and this is Bombay!

A city that never sleeps, but yet, is called the city of dreams.

The only city in the world where distance is measured in time,

because time here is money.

That's why my dad took a timely decision and shifted here from Punjab.

Hey!

Hey!

He toiled hard, but with no success.

Then my mom, a dame from Mathura entered his life,

bringing 10 buffalos along with her.

Albeit my dad still has just one wife, my mom,

but we now have 312 buffalos,

and one humongous stable.

We sell milk with many milk products "thrown" into the mix.

We also have a beautiful house.

This is all thanks to Mumba Devi, the city goddess!

I have to say, our house would look much better

had dad painted it in the colour I'd suggested.

But that's my dad for you.

Who is it?

And that's my mom for you.

Now all I need is a beautiful, well-cultured Wife,

who wouldn't let mom enter the kitchen,

and wouldn't let me leave the bedroom.

My ideal woman!

He'll surely end up with a beautiful girl.

My son is so handsome, after all.

Okay son, it's time to ward off the evil now.

Mom, I'm standing right next to you.

Oh.

Okay son, it's time to ward off...

Cut! Cut! Cut!

Even God cannot claim to completely understand women.

You know why?

Because he doesn't have a sister.

But I have no problem in that, because I do have a sister, Guddi.

She's an eighth grader.

And he flunked the eighth grade, twice.

Hey, but I can finish reading a comic book in just two hours.

I'm looking for a devoted wife who'd go without food and water

on Vatpurnima to pray for my long life.

Will you be that thirsty and hungry girl?

Cut.

I said cut, Sukhi.

How is it?

Excellent, bro.

You know this video isn't for me?

It's for those poor girls,

whom never end up getting proposals from good looking and handsome boys.

- Oh.... - Yes.

But bro, what's Vatpurnima?

It's a Maharashtrian festival,

wherein a wife ties a thread around a banyan tree,

prays for her husband's long life and sings melodious songs.

Enough!

Oh my, sister!

You have such a sweet voice.

Do you sing professionally?

Really?

My husband says so too.

Oh.

You are not a bad singer either.

It's just that you sound a little... um, manly.

You see, my husband has a soft voice.

He sounds just like a woman.

So... we manage.

Where do you stay?

Shivam Colony, Girgaon.

Oh, I've friends who stay there, the Dicholkars.

They own a grocery store in Lalbaug.

- The Dicholkars? - Right.

They are my neighbours.

Oh.

Their flat is right next to mine.

Small world.

They are such nice people.

Right, they are very nice.

Their son, Dinesh, is also good, it's just that...

What?

Sister, I know everyone's ins and outs.

Well, it is what it is, you can't do anything about it.

Yeah... about what?

His intentions.

He sells adulterated grains.

Instead of a kilo, you end up with only 800 grams.

Everybody does that these days.

Come on.

But he is a nice boy.

- Yes, he is. - He has no bad habits either.

He doesn't, right?

No, he has no bad habits as such.

It'd be all good as he'd stop visiting the dance bar once he gets married.

Dance bar?

Yeah.

The Sapna Bar, in Sion?

Oh.

Oh yes.

Well, it is what it is.

Anyway sister, I'll get going.

Sure.

Hey, I didn't get your name.

What is it?

My name?

Yes.

Shakuntala,

but my husband affectionately calls me honey.

In his soft voice?

Come on now!

Naughty sister.

Naughty, huh.

Later. See you, bye.

Excuse me mister, Sapna Dance Bar?

Let's go already!

Are you bloody blind?

Don't you know how to drive?

Here, have an orange.

It's improves ones' eyesight.

Let's go.

Cheers.

Cheers.

He's alcoholic, dishonest, a womaniser and a gambler.

He has all the possible vices.

Thank you, Madhu.

You have saved our daughter's future from being ruined.

You are an angel.

- No, no, no, sir. - Thank you so much.

No, aunt. I am just doing my job.

No good girl should ever end up with a bad boy.

So I have vowed.

Now you just need to find a better match for Varsha, okay?

Here's your fees.

Okay.

- Thank you. - No, thank you.

Listen,

once you find another boy, come to me for his character certificate.

After all, it's the question of your daughter's life.

You cannot leave that on chance.

Goodbye.

- Thank you. - Goodbye.

Let's go.

What's this?

We've spent more than we made on this case, Kaka!

Who asked you to do such elaborate disguises?

Huh?

A Sindhi businessman, a middle-aged woman...

You even wanted to try out all the fruits to get the size right.

I bought half a kilo of each fruit for the trials.

Oranges,

sapodilla,

watermelon,

and apples.

And what were a dozen of bananas used for?

They were for me to consume, son.

Getting these things is so tiring.

That's where the bananas, biryani and a cab ride come in.

They are my personal expenses.

I am not young anymore.

My health... well, I don't keep well.

No one eats biryani when not feeling well.

And not mutton biryani for sure.

The taste is still lingering in the mouth, huh?

I hired you after your mill shut down thinking that it'd benefit me.

But you sir, lead a royal life.

Look, when your dad was in need...

Right, you gave him 1200 bucks when he was in need.

But you've consumed biryani worth 10,000 in the past 8 years,

and I have bills to prove that. Do you want me to show them to you, huh?

- Do you? - Madhu! Why are you yelling?

My customer is relaxing in the parlour.

And who's this customer of yours, huh?

Aunt Deshmukh, right?

Who is it?

Hey aunt, it's me, Madhu. How are you doing?

Live long, lad.

Why stop at that?

Say, live long and keep screwing up youngsters' lives.

Rekha.

You cannot stop yourself from taunting everyone, can you?

Your son is so smart but you are never pleased with him.

Heard that?

Aunt, I have managed to save 47 girls so far.

I have received so many blessings.

You went past the marriageable age busy trying to call off other's marriages.

I wanted grandchildren and I am getting blessings instead.

What do I do with the blessings, pickle them?

One day you shall know what a great job your son is doing.

- Then, you will stop taunting me. - Of course.

He used to say the same when he was in his college's dramatics team.

"I am the best actor."

"I'll work in Subhash Bhai's movie."

It's Subhash Ghai and not Subhash Bhai.

Gh.

Whatever. Did you get to work with him, huh?

He's unnecessarily spying on poor young boys.

Whom are you addressing as poor young boys?

All of them are hooligans.