The Adventures of Puss in Boots

El Gato!

I've done it!

At last, I've discovered the secret of the Crown of Souls!

What? What is it?

It does...

not work.

This cannot be. It must work.

The Crown of Souls is the only way to defeat the Bloodwolf.

What are we gonna do?

Maybe I could make him a macramé girlfriend.

This is the most terrifying being in existence.

I do not think making a lady wolf out of strings and beads is what we need.

Okay, well, don't say I didn't try to help.

But that crown is broken, Puss. See?

It should have a gem right here.

What?

A gem? The Gem of the Crown!

Oh, there's a story in the book.

Oh, wait, here it is. The Tale of the Gem of the Crown.

"Good King Borvald, long ago, possessed a mighty crown.

He feared its strength in evil hands could tear the whole world down.

And so, he broke the gem that fueled the crown into three parts,

and gave them to three witches, masters of the darkest arts.

The Eldritch Sisters, they were called, and they fought with each other.

So good King Borvald knew the gem could not be brought together.

Thus the pieces of the gem could never reunite.

And so, the world was safe from this dread crown's enchanted might."

That's a lot of rhyming.

I know what I must do.

I will find the pieces of this gem and restore the power of the Crown of Souls.

- Ooh, can I come? - No.

- I know where those witches are. - Then yes.

And I'll come too.

No, I cannot let you risk your life. This is far too dangerous.

If it's so dangerous, you need me there to protect you.

Dulcinea, I know you are strong and capable.

But you are so important to me.

I would feel better if you were safe at home.

And, anyways, this is not a journey for a lady.

Duchess, you will come with us.

What's happening? Where are we going? Are we getting ice cream?

We, including me, are going on a dangerous journey.

And ice cream after?

- I guess. - I'm in!

Dulcinea! I will not allow you to go!

But, Puss...

Nothing will change my mind. Nothing!

I still remember our first date, Duchy.

You were as beautiful then as you are now.

Why all the flattery? Are you going to ask to borrow money or something?

Oh, I've just been thinking a lot about our time together.

That picnic, when I turned the ants into elephants and got trampled.

That carriage ride through the forest, when I got mauled by a bear.

Oh, they're so cute together, aren't they?

I would chose death over listening to this.

You dragged me to the finish line, and I woke up just in time for Halloween.

Oh, we did have some good times together, didn't we?

We sure did, sugar biscuit.

Please let there be an end to this!

Look, a dark, terrifying castle.

Yes!

I don't like the looks of that castle.

Really? No offense, but it seems like your kind of place.

I have a bad feeling about it. It hurts my head.

It seems familiar somehow.

Let us go inside.

No! I'll just wait here.

Keep a lookout.

Duchess, if we do not get that gem, we will never defeat the Bloodwolf.

Facing a witch, we may need your knowledge of magic.

I think we should stick together.

It's okay, honey lumps. I won't let the big, bad castle get you.

Now, come, let us enter this foreboding castle

and face whatever unspeakable evil lies within, together.

Hmm. It is empty.

Where did she go?

Someone must live here.

It feels...

I am Malviola.

I am a witch.

Could you tell?

Tell what?

That I'm a witch. I mean, was it immediately obvious?

I have a pointy hat. I have a broom. And a wand.

Yes, it was quite apparent.

I am so a witch, it isn't even funny.

Yes, we get that.

Listen to me cackle.

And my skin is green.

Umm, I'm pretty sure that's makeup.

No. My skin is green. It isn't pink. I hate pink.

Also, I hate puppies and butterflies and frilly dresses.

Because I'm a witch, and witches don't like that stuff.

Yes, yes, you are very much a witch.

I am. Just like the witches in this book that shows you how to be a witch.

I think that it is very clear to all of us that you are a witch. Right, everyone?

- Clear as day. - Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Umm, we are looking for the Gem of the Crown of Souls.

- Do you... - Sure, I have part of it.

But my sisters have the other pieces, and you won't have any luck with them.

They are the worst! They'll make fun of you

and never let you change the channel on the crystal ball

and steal your boyfriend.

What? Let's go, Arty. I can't spend another minute in this place.

I'd go anywhere with you, bubblecakes.

So, Malviola, is it? I'm Dulcinea, and this is Puss in Boots.

And umm, we're wondering if...

Wait a second. You're cats! I need a cat.

See? I have everything a witch has, because I am a witch.

Everything but a cat.

A witch is supposed to have a cat for a familiar. It's a witch thing.

If one of you agrees to be my familiar, I will let you have my piece of the gem.

And what exactly does being your familiar entail?

Oh, the usual stuff.

I would see through your eyes, control your mind,

make you my servant for all eternity.

We'd be best friends forever.

Yes, well, that is very nice of you,

but we do not want to do that because you are really, very really creepy.

And what makes you think you have any choice?

Why must everything be difficult?

It sounds like it's going well in there.

Yes, let's just, uh, step outside while they sort things out.

Stop! I'll be your familiar.

Dulcinea, no! I cannot allow you to make that sacrifice.

I will be your familiar.

Puss, I said I would protect you, and I meant it. Take me!

No, me!

Oh, I see you're fighting over the great honor, because I am a witch.

You must take me. Dulcinea would be a terrible familiar.

She is too kind-hearted.

You don't want Puss. He snores. And he chews with his mouth open.

She sheds in hot weather.

- He picks his toes. - She cannot swim.

He has fleas!

Dulcinea!

I know I crossed a line there. I'm sorry.

Two cats fighting over me. I am the witchiest witch ever.

Cats, I will give you one hour to prepare your arguments,

and then I will return and render my decision.

I'm a witch.

You have to let me do this, Puss.

No, I will not. I cannot let you give up your life to this witch.

Puss, we all have sacrifices to make. I'm a part of the team too.

Then I will make the sacrifice. The orphans need you.

San Lorenzo needs you.

No! And that is final.

I will turn myself into the finest familiar a witch could want. I go!

If I'm gonna be a better familiar than Puss,

I'm gonna need some help.

Of course I can help you, dear. I know what witches like.

But are you sure you want to do this?

I can't let Puss give up his life to Malviola. Say, where's Artephius?

I'm sure I don't know. We aren't speaking.

What? But you were getting along so well. What did you do?

The brash fool declared that he could throw farther than I can.

I threw him. Really far. I am very good at throwing.

So, what can we do

to make you a more desirable familiar?

You should be black. Witches love black cats.

How are you gonna do that?

Burn you black with fire!

Uh-huh. Okay. Let's, maybe, see if we can think of something else.

Think, Puss, think.

What can I do to get Malviola to pick me,

to spare Dulcinea from that terrible fate?

How can I make myself even more irresistible to a lady?

Well, don't say you can throw farther than her, that's for sure.

Artephius. Who did this to you? Let me know so that I may avenge you.

It was the Duchess.