Frank

End...

Endless

Endless

Endless

Endless

Rolling

Waves

What do you carry to me?

Where will you carry me to?

Children building castles in the sand in my town

Children

A band's playing

A band's playing tomorrow night in my town

They're called the... the Soron...

Ladies have babies

That's how it works

Lady in the red coat, what are you doing with that bag?

Lady in the blue coat, do you know the lady in the red coat?

Slowly!

Little boxes

Take me away

From these little boxes

- Hi, sweetheart. - Oh. Hi.

Just in time. I made a casserole.

No, thanks. I've got an idea for a song.

How was work?

It was good. I've just... before I forget it.

OK, idea for a song in A minor. Possible title, "Suburbia".

I dream of an angel

Down to E in the bass.

To take me away

To G.

Take me away

C.

From these little boxes

Back to A.

I dream of an angel

Up there.

To take me away

Oh, fuck!

That's Madness.

Fucking Madness song.

Er... But not Johnston or Harman.

'So how would you describe the... how would you describe your music?'

'Thank you for your enquiry, Anthony.'

'That's a fucking boring question.

'I would describe our sound as fucking happy.'

- Let him speak! - Fuck you!

Cheese and ham panini. There you go.

'Cheese and ham panini.

'Hashtag livin' the dream.'

'Yeah, that's him.'

'Hello, sir.

'Talk to you over here, sir.'

'Look what you've made me become!'

I'm gonna do it! I mean it! This is your fault! This is all on you!

Get out of the water.

We were at this radio station. He and Clara had a disagreement.

Or... I don't know, I guess a physical fight.

You're the S... You're playing tonight.

How? Our keyboardist is trying to drown himself.

I play keyboards.

She's wanted this from the start!

No, no. I wasn't... that wasn't a...

Red hair. OK.

You play C, F and G?

- Yeah. - You're in.

Really?

So what shall we do now? Shall we run through the songs?

Stage door, 9:00pm tonight.

OK. Let me give you my number.

- Is he gonna be OK? - He'll be fine.

He'll still need to spend the night in hospital, though?

He's swallowed a lot of sea water. He'll have to have his stomach pumped.

Hello?

In the soup

Ginger crouton

Cover him in grease

Raw limby sausage

Bobbing poulet

Salted joints

Tuna in brine

Deep dark swell anoints

Undertow the broken Ford Back to garage help him, Lord

Eels are jellied, bloated belly Scallops seared, wrinkled skin

Comb the cockles from his beard Notify the next of kin

Push the baby, cut the cord

Spread the feast upon the board

Coming out, emerging

What happened? You just stopped playing.

What the fuck is wrong with you? You stopped playing?

Bullshit!

This is just bullshit! Fucking bullshit!

It's OK, come on.

Start up the car.

Hello?

'Lucas has been sectioned and we need a new keyboard player.

'Frank said, "Remember that grateful-looking boy

who jumped on stage last week uninvited?"'

I wasn't uninvited.

'Frank said he thought you brought something cherishable that night.

'But he can sound really muffled under the head,

'so I thought he said you brought something perishable.

'You know, like food that decays easily. Like fish or fruit.'

'So I said, "Come on, man, anybody can do that."

'So anyways, we're doing this really major thing over in Ireland. You in?'

Yes.

'Clacket Lane Services, M25, 5:00pm today.'

'You would not believe what's happening to me right now.

'Hashtag through the looking glass.'

Hello.

I wasn't sure where to wait. Clacket Lane's pretty labyrinthine, isn't it?

I was gonna stand by the Bank of Scotland Cashline.

Next to the RAC membership stall there.

But, er, I thought I'd be more visible on the approach.

So I just decided to come straight... Hello. Oh.

- Frank, scoot over. - Hi, everybody.

I was just saying to Don that I didn't know where to stand,

cos I thought that you might not see me, so, erm...

- I have a certificate. - This way.

It's an official medical document. Certificate.

You'll note the official stamp.

It's all legal and above board.

So, what do you think of Frank?

Light me.

- Erm... - Fucking amazing, isn't he?

Frank, you're on fire.

He lives all the way out there, man. In the furthest corners.

Fuck, I wanna be Frank.

- Don. - Yeah?

- The head. - Smells like sausages.

He never takes it off.

- Never? - No, never.

- He sleeps in it? - Yep.

What about eating?

He sucks liquid food through a straw that he funnels up under the neckline.

Occasionally solids, but it's not encouraged.

- What kind of liquid food? - Grownut. It's like a supplement.

- He must have a very bushy beard. - Not necessarily.

How does he clean his teeth?

Look, Jon, you're just gonna have to go with this.

OK.

Sorry, it's just... it's pretty crazy, isn't it?

I know, I know. I understand.

But let me tell you something.

Frank, with all his issues, is without a doubt

the most 100-percent sanest cat I've ever met.

- OK. - Me, on the other hand...

- You seem pretty sane to me. - Yeah.

But, no, no, I spent a lot of time in a psychiatric hospital.

I was labelled as severely mentally ill.

I used to fuck mannequins.

- Right. - It's a condition.

Here we go.

'Welcome to Ireland. Remember to drive on the left.'

Wakey-wakey, eggs and bakey.

And everybody out.

Welcome to Vetno.

Our new home.

Don?

- Don! - Alright.

- You like? - Impulse response.

- OK, people. - Excuse me.

How long will we be staying here for?

Rhythm section shall be housed in here. Ah, bunks.

It is.

Frank. The master bedroom for you.

Had it customised for all your requirements.

These are the bathing accommodations.

We'll have productive seasons here.

- And, Clara, your living quarters. - Don!

Nice panoramic view of the lake here.

And, Jon, you and I are just through here.

- Don. - Yeah, buddy?

Don. Sorry. I actually told work that I'd be back on Monday.

- So I was just wondering... - Why the fuck would you do that?

I thought it was just a gig,

so I've only brought one pair of pants and a T-shirt.

I'll be staying right here in the green trailer.

So if you need anything at night, you know, sugar, milk,

if you freak out,

you just come a-knocking.

Well, come on, chop chop.

- That's alpine cedar. Nice. - Don.

- Yeah? - How long are we staying here?

Just as long as it takes to record the album, Jon.

'Vetno, Ireland.

'After several days of what Frank calls fieldwork,

'rehearsals proper have begun.'

'I'm settling into my new life

'and gradually getting to know my fellow band members.'

Wow, this is beautiful. What do you call it?

Stay away from my fucking Theremin.

'A few teething problems, as you would expect,

'but beginning to feel like one of the gang.'

So... I do not know why Frank asked you to join the group...

but I'm not at all convinced.

You disgust me.

'At Vetno, there's already a palpable sense of free expression

'and I can't wait to dive into the creative maelstrom.'