The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Him

Would you still love me if I couldn't pay for dinner?

Possibly.

Yeah.

What do we do?

I'm thinking.

We, we could have a big row.

And... and throw some shit. They might kick us out.

Uh, been done, and it would draw too much attention.

Wh... What are you doing?

I'm taking my shoes off.

Mm.

I'm going to leave first,

and then when the time is right,

like when the maître d's not, um, looking...

you meet me down the street.

Uh, excuse me, sir?

Hey, run! Run, run, run!

Fucker!

Baby!

Are you OK?

Oh, I'm dying.

That was so epic!

Well, did we lose him?

I don't know.

Really, did they even chase us?

- Hey. - What?

Hey, hey, hey, look, look, look. Look at them.

This is pretty good, isn't it?

Yeah, it is.

Hey-

What?

There's only one heart in this body.

Have mercy on me.

Shut up.

What the fuck are we listening to?

The soundtrack of my life.

That's nice.

Can we change it before I dive off a bridge?

Oh, there's something you would rather listen to?

I don't care, just something that doesn't make me want to kill myself?

- It's just a song, Conor. - Come on, change it.

- Coffee? - Eh, I'm good with that.

- Thank you. - Great.

You know, you're developing a real talent for being an asshole.

Well, when you grow up, you can too.

What are you all pissy about?

There is the compassion I've been looking for.

That's what I'm here for.

Seriously, Alexis?

What?

- It's not funny. It's not funny. - It's kind of funny.

Change it?

No.

Change it.

Whoa!

That was yours, just so you know.

Oh, pull your head out of your ass, man.

Blow me.

I'm gonna go take a stroll.

All right. Hey, be careful.

It's a dangerous world out there.

Apparently.

Love you.

Hey, Ralph.

What time is it?

6:30.

Mm.

You get outside today?

You eat something, or...?

Mm-mm.

You OK?

I swear, I forgot how to fall asleep last night.

Don't, Conor.

I had a dream you were having an affair.

How'd you find out?

It's the fourth one I've had this month.

Who am I having the affair with?

Some vague girl with dark hair.

- Maybe it's you in a wig. - It's not.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't worry about it, all right?

You want to order some food or something before I have to go back?

Maybe you should.

Yeah, I, I'm gonna.

You should have an affair.

I... don't know what you're talking about.

What are you talking about?

Things haven't been very chipper around here.

Come on.

Come on, we're getting by.

How long are you gonna keep pretending?

Seriously, I don't know how we got from food to this, but...

OK, just listen to me for one second.

I don't... no, I don't want to listen to you for a second.

It might be a good thing.

It would clear the air.

It would definitely shake things up between us.

I don't know what planet you're on, but on this planet,

fucking around is fucking around,

and it's not usually the best way to smooth things over.

Fine.

Are you gonna get that?

- You get it if you want. - I don't want to get it.

Well, it's probably your dad again.

Is that what you want?

What?

To go fuck around... is that what you want?

I don't know what I want.

Seriously?

Is it what you want?

No.

Are we really doing this badly?

Conor, it's been an impossible fucking year,

so please don't ask a stupid question like that.

- Hey. - Hey.

So, uh...

what's the paper saying today?

Oh, apparently, we're all gonna die of something.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, I heard about that.

I can't keep up with all this shit.

You know, the ice caps keep melting,

something else exploded in Afghanistan,

Democrats are bunch of pussies,

flu pandemics,

de Kooning's at the MoMA,

supposedly lime green is the hot color for summer,

and the stupid Yankees lost again.

I feel like my head's gonna burst.

Well, you should try reading without the music on, or the TV.

Or both.

Can't stand the silence.

I got you a latte.

Thank you.

I think my memory may be evaporating.

Yeah. They were all out of bran muffins, so I got you blueberry.

I hate blueberries.

You're in good spirits.

I'm all I can offer.

What are you doing here, anyway?

Well, you called, like, ten times, so...

I don't know, you said you wanted to talk about something.

See? Told you. It's evaporating.

Time's rubbing me out.

Where's Fernanda?

Who?

The obnoxious Spanish woman you married.

She wanted a change of scenery.

Wow.

I don't like to get emotional about these things.

It helps me stay objective.

I do better on my own, anyway.

OK.

Why am I here, then?

Oh. Yeah.

I need... I need a manager to run the place.

No! No!

Aw, come on, now, let, let me finish.

- I like my place. We do just fine. - You're better than that.

I don't really want to have this conversation right now.

I didn't furnish you with a six-figure education

just so you could run some pop stand.

This is a real restaurant, Conor.

I don't want your help.

Just trying to give you a hand up,

you Wozzeck.

W... Well...

since you put it that way...

Fuck off.

Hey, El. I got Chinese food.

Eleanor?

Hello?

Excuse me? I'm looking for my wife.

Her name is Eleanor Ludlow.

Room 2012, second floor.

Elevator's around the corner.

- This way? - Uh-huh.

- The stairs are faster. - Thank you.

What the hell were you doing, El?

I can't stand this silence anymore, so...

...if you would just say something?

Anything?

I can't do this anymore.

Can't do what?

I'm not going back to that apartment ever.

OK.

Some days everything seems fine,

but then I hit the afternoon, and it all goes to shit.

I know.

I mean, I don't know, but...

We can get out of here. We can go wherever you want.

I think we should take a break.

What?

No.

I'm so sorry, but no fuckin' way.

- Conor. Conor. - No fuckin' way.

Please, El? Please?

Do not pick up and bail on me?

You're the star of my life story.

Please be cool about this.

Be cool?