GameFace

If you're happy and you know it Clap your hands

If you're happy and you know it Then you really ought to show it

If you're happy and you know it Clap your hands...

Excuse me, can you wake up, please?

There's a chicken, um, in the freezer there.

Come on. This is not on.

Wake up!

Ta-dah!

I'm the sleeping princess.

Get out.

I was in the middle of doing the sleeping princess routine, so...

No-one is taught but...

It's sort of like a feminist metaphor.

A feminist metaphor?

You had red wine lips when you got here.

I... That's not red.

It's hereditary, actually.

I have a condition.

You do not show up around children with red wine lips.

Oh, not red wine lips!

Oh, God! How will my children cope?

They've seen red wine lips!

The world is full of red wine lips, lady.

That doesn't even make sense.

Come on. Let's go.

Sorry, kid.

Happy birthday.

Eurgh!

You have nits! You have nits, mate.

Huh, looky here

When you wear your wigs, baby

You wear your dresses tight

You wear your foxy fur, baby

When you step out late at night, hey

You looking good

Oh

So good

Looky here

You looking good

Just like I knew that you would

All right, looky here.

Wake up, Cinderella. It's four o'clock in the afternoon.

Hey, Luce.

Where've you been?

Pilates. Gross.

Oh, God. I'm so hungover.

Mm, yeah, I gathered. Surprised you made it into work.

I heard you coming in at six this morning.

I think I was still pissed when I got there.

Give us a crisp.

The fuck are they? Dried seaweed slices.

Anyway, why were you caning it last night when you knew you had work?

Must've just forgot I had a booking.

I mean...

They taste like Isis.

You need to stay off Simon's Instagram.

It sends you bat shit each time you go through it.

What?

We get it, you like hats.

I hope you get fat.

A big fat face.

I'm glad you're in America.

Dicks.

Oh...

No, no. No, no, please! No, please, make it not be!

"You got shit hat."

I'm presuming you liked it by accident, fine,

but why in the name of God did you leave comments?

I don't know. You liked 30 photos. It looks like a threat!

What other choice did I have?

You could've un-liked it. What?

That's not a thing. That's a thing.

You can't... You can un-like Instagram photos?

Fucking hell!

Simon just texted me asking you to call him.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!

She got pissed and went on a Instagram frenzy. Look.

Oh, God.

Oh, mate...

It's been over a year. He got married.

"You hat wearing pair of shit hawks."

Nice. You need to speak to your therapist about this.

Oh, therapy. What time is it?

What time is it?!

I'm so late!

Get this off.

Get this... Get this dress off me!

Also, it's life coaching, not therapy. I don't need therapy!

Hello, Marcella. I'm Graham and I'm 45 years of age.

OK.

Hello.

So, now your hair... Here!

Um, let's hit this.

Why do you feel you need life coaching?

My mum got me these for a gift, you know.

These sessions are just a present, so I don't...

Oh, you're the Groupon client.

Oh, maybe. It sounds like my mum.

Wow. OK. So, tell me a little bit about yourself.

Your hopes. Your dreams.

Uh, well, it's acting.

I'm an actress, so it's just acting.

And when was your last acting job?

The tail, you boss-eyed little Tory!

Is that an acting job?

Well, I'm not a bloody mermaid, am I, mate? So...

No, it's not. No.

It's not the RSC, but it keeps my hand in.

And it provides you with a living.

But I also temp in offices.

And that suits me, because time off for auditions and stuff, you know.

Well, when was your last audition? Mmm.

I see where you're going with this.

You won't break me.

Do you have a partner?

No.

Unless you mean in crime.

No, I don't mean in crime.

Yeah, I didn't mean...

I didn't think...

that.

I'm going to get this call,

but don't take that as some kind of diversion,

cos I am enjoying this chat. Hard.

Hello. Hey.

Just a little thing, um, did you pull last night?

Yeah, well...

Technically a man came back with me, but it wasn't...

We didn't... Right.

How much detail do you want, mate? Did we wake you up? Oh, no.

No, you and...

What's your name, lovely? Stephen.

Yeah, you and Stephen didn't wake me up. Are you fucking kidding me?

He's still there? He said, "Marcella said I could hang for a bit."

Yeah, a bit. 5:30's not a bit, it's a bunch!

I didn't say he could stay for a bunch of time.

Well, why didn't you check he'd gone when you came home?

He is freaking me out.

He's fine. He's fine.

Mate, he has never seen Friends.

This... This is great!

Ross, this guy, has the hots for Rachel

and she's friends with Monica.

OK. Yeah. That's not right.

You need to probably get him out. Get him out, I reckon.

Listen, I'm really sorry, I have to go.

Marcella!

Hey, Stephen. The cat is smelly.

The cat stinks!

Sorry about that, it was...a butcher.

I'd ordered some chops.

OK, Marcella.

What are you scared of?

What do you fear?

Oh, why didn't we unplug our chargers?

Your Majesty.

There's no more cheese! No!

All the cheese is gone!

NO!

No cheese! There's got to be cheese!

Erm...

Nothing, really.

Can't really think of anything off the top of my head.

We have a lot of work to do.

Cal?

Sorry about earlier.

I should've checked he was gone. Yeah, you should have.

It's fine. We watched a couple of episodes of Friends and he left.

I take it nothing...went in? Shh.

Sorry.

You're in bed early. Yeah, starting a new temp job tomorrow.

Six weeks of fresh hell.

Where've you guys been? Oh, we were at a TED Talk.

Workers' rights in globalised industries.

Oh, my God, it was absolutely amazing.

Some of the case...

Dick. No, no. I'm into it now.

You're disgusting. Don't stop. Don't leave me high and dry.

I'm leaving now. Goodnight. Tell me, what was everyone wearing?

Come on.

Hello? Hello, Marcella, it's John, your driving instructor.

I'm outside.

What?

You haven't forgotten?

No, I haven't. I haven't forgotten.

I haven't forgotten. I'll be down in, like, five minutes.

Hey, what's your surname?

Sorry? Well, just, it's my third lesson with you and I don't know

your surname. It's a bit weird. What's your surname? It's Gosling.

Gosling?

As in Ryan Gosling?

That is mental.

Gosling, really?

No. It's, uh, it's White.

Oh.

Oh, OK.

Good, you're still here, Michelle.

I urgently shmurgently need 22 copies of each of these

and if you could bind them and courier them before seven,