Uptown Saturday Night

SARAH?

YES?

WOULD YOU MIND LIVING IN THE COUNTRY?

COURSE NOT. YOU'RE FORGETTING I WAS BORN IN THE COUNTRY.

IT'S IN MY BLOOD.

SOMEDAY MAYBE WE CAN MOVE BACK DOWN SOUTH SOMEPLACE.

I THINK THAT WOULD BE REAL NICE, BABY.

OK, I'M GOING TO KEEP THAT IN MIND.

YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST THINKING.

WHAT?

ABOUT WHEN WE FIRST MET.

YOU WERE LIVING ON SOMERSET STREET WITH YOUR SISTER LELA.

I WAS A YOUNG GIRL FRESH FROM THE COUNTRY THEN.

YEAH, AND YOU HAD THE BIGGEST BUTT I EVER SAW.

IF YOU DON'T STOP...

BUT IT'S THE TRUTH. GOOD-LOOKING BEHIND.

SAID TO MYSELF WHEN I FIRST SAW IT,

"SHE GOTTA BE FROM DOWN HOME

"'CAUSE THEY DON'T MAKE BEHINDS LIKE THAT

IN THE CITY." STEVE!

WELL, IT'S THE TRUTH.

DON'T YOU MEN EVER THINK ABOUT NOTHING BESIDES BEHINDS?

LEGS AND BOOBS, BUT MOSTLY BEHINDS.

OH, MAN!

I REMEMBER.

YOU SNEAKED THROUGH THE LIVING ROOM WINDOW

IN THE HOUSE WITH THAT CRAZY CHARLES

'CAUSE HE WANTED TO SURPRISE LELA.

YEAH, OLD CHARLES.

HE SURE WAS IN A HURRY TO GET HOME FROM THAT WAR.

HE WAS YOUR SISTER'S FIRST HUSBAND, WASN'T HE?

NO, HONEY, THIRD.

THIRD, THIRD!

AH, YOU ALL LOOKED SO GOOD IN YOUR UNIFORMS, ESPECIALLY YOU.

WELL, YOU KNOW...

I WAS SO TACKY, I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO SEE ME.

I SAW YOU. I COULDN'T MISS THAT BUTT.

HOWEVER, I KNEW THE NEXT TIME YOU SAW ME,

I'D HAVE IT TOGETHER AND YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO RESISTME!

YEAH, I KNEW IT, TOO.

TOOK YOU OUT ON OUR FIRST DATE THAT VERY NIGHT.

YES, YOU DID.

THOSE WERE SOME BEAUTIFUL DAYS.

WEREN'T THEY?

THOSE WALKS WE USED TO TAKE IN THE PARK.

YOU WERE THE FRESHEST MAN.

I WAS ONLY DOING WHAT A MAN IS SUPPOSEDTO DO.

NO, YOU WERE FRESH, STEVE JACKSON.

WONDER IF THAT TREE'S STILL THERE?

YOU AIN'T NO DAMN GOOD, YOU KNOW THAT?

I USED TO STOP BY THAT TREE AND WE USED TO KISS.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.

USED TO TAKE YOU BY THAT TREE, PRESS YOU AGAINST IT REAL HARD,

AND YOU USED TO LOVEIT. STOP!

IT'S THE TRUTH. YOU COULD HARDLY WAIT TILL I COME BY

AND TAKE YOU TO THAT TREE AND PRESS YOU AGAINST IT.

YOU USED TO SAY, "OH, STEVE, PRESS ME AGAIN.

PRESS ME AGAIN."

STEVE, YOU KNOW YOU LYING. YOU KNOW YOU ARE.

GIRL, YOU COULDN'T GET ENOUGH OF THAT TREE.

OH, MAN. THAT WAS ALL AN ACT.

AN ACT? YES, SIREE.

SARAH, YOU WAS HARDLY ACTING.

OH, YES, I WAS, TOO.

YOU JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON.

I KNEW IF I ACTED ALL SHY AND SCARED,

THAT WOULD MAKE YOU LIKE ME MORE.

WOMAN, YOU CAN'T FOOL ME WITH NO ACT.

I SEE YOU MARRIED TO ME.

I GOT TO ADMIT YOU GOT ME THERE, SARAH,

IF I'D TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN, I WOULDN'T CHANGE A THING.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

AFTER 20 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, 2 KIDS, AND 3 JOBS,

YOU STILL GOT THE BIGGEST BUTT I EVERSAW.

YOU'RE MY QUEEN, SARAH.

YOU'RE MY QUEEN.

THANK YOU, MY DEAR HUSBAND.

IT MAKES ME VERY HAPPY TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT.

HEY, YOUNG BLOOD. WHAT'S HAPPENING?

SAME OLD, SAME AS OLD HERE.

VACATION STARTS TODAY, HUH?

YOU DECIDED WHAT YOU GONNA DO?

DON'T KNOW, I MIGHT JUST WALK THE STREETS FOR TWO WEEKS

BRINGING SUNSHINE TO LONELY DUDES LIKE YOU.

THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

COME ON. I'LL BUY YOU A DRINK.

OK.

HOW'S YOUR OTHER JOB?

ROTTEN, BORING, AND UNDERPAID... BUT THANK YOU, JESUS.

YES, LORD. SAME HERE.

SAY, MAN, LET'S GO TO ZENOBIA'S TONIGHT.

WHERE? ZENOBIA'S

WE AIN'T GOT THAT KIND OF MONEY.

WILL WE EVER? COME ON, MAN. I FEEL LIKE CUTTING LOOSE.

BOTTLE OF BEER COSTS $5 IN THAT PLACE.

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE. WHAT YOU SAY, HOMEBOY?

NOTHING DOING. YOU EVER BEEN THERE?

YEAH...AND NO.

I DROPPED SOME PEOPLE OFF WITH THE CAB,

BUT THERE BE SOME FINE MAMAS COMING IN THAT PLACE.

COUNT ME OUT, YOUNG BLOOD. TOO FANCY FOR ME.

SOME FINE MAMAS COMING IN THERE.

NO!

TO YOUR VACATION.

HEY, FREDDY.

FREDDY, COME HERE. COME HERE, MAN.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO ZENOBIA'S?

WELL, WILL YOU TELL THIS MAN ABOUT ZENOBIA'S, PLEASE?

WHAT'S THERE TO TELL?

ONCE YOU GO IN, YOU DON'T NEVER WANT TO COME OUT.

IT'S THE HIPPEST PLACE IN THE WORLD!

YOU OUGHT TO CHECK IT OUT, STEVE.

LET'S GO TONIGHT.

LET'S-- SHALL WE CHECK IT OUT?

I'LL SEE HOW I FEEL AFTER SARAH GOES TO SLEEP.

AFTER SARAH GOES TO SLEEP?

YEAH.

YOU MEAN YOU GOT TO SNEAK OUT?

THIS GUY...

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU'RE SO HENPECKED

THAT YOU GOT TO SNEAK OUT THE HOUSE?

YOU BETTER TIGHTEN UP ON YOUR MARRIED LIFE, JACK.

SHOO...

YOU TELL HER YOU GOING OUT, AND THAT'S IT! YES!

YOU JUST GONNA LEAVE IRMA AND GO ON OUT, RIGHT?

THAT'S RIGHT, JACK. I'M BOSS IN MY HOUSE. I'M THE KING.

B-O-S-S.

SNEAKING OUT.

SHOO...

MAN, I SNAP MY FINGERS AND IRMA JUMP UP

AND DON'T COME DOWN TILL I TELL HER TO.

THAT'S RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU NAME THE TIME.

ALL RIGHT, 00.

1:00. 1:00.

AFTER IRMA...

GOES TO SLEEP.

WE GOTTA BE A MEMBER OR SOMETHING TO GET IN HERE?

DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT. YOU JUST LOOK IMPORTANT.

ACT LIKE WE INTO SOMETHING.

YOUR NAMES, PLEASE?

WILL YOU WAIT HERE A MOMENT?

WHAT'S ON THAT PAPER?

OUR LETTER OF INTRODUCTION.

FROM WHO?

I WROTE IT MYSELF ON SOME STATIONERY

FROM THE LAW OFFICE WHERE IRMA WORKS.

WHAT IT SAY?

SAYS, "TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,

"THE BEARERS OF THIS LETTER ARE TWO VERY IMPORTANT MEN

"IN THE DIAMOND BUSINESS.

"ANY COURTESIES YOU CAN EXTEND TO THEM

"WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED.

SIGNED JEROME MORDECHAI WILKENSON."

WHO'S JEROME MORDECHAI WILKENSON?