Lunch Hour

- What is this place? - Oh, it's just a hotel.

Hotel?

It's just a hotel.

By the station.

It's convenient.

- Convenient? What for? - Well...

The north of England.

- You do say the most ridiculous things. - Why are you laughing?

- I don't know. - Are you happy?

- I laugh when I'm hungry, too. - Oh.

- Well, if you'd rather eat... - Oh, no.

You look so big in that overcoat. Like a house.

- I'll take it off. - Not yet.

- No one knows we're here? - No, of course not.

I'm out for a long business lunch with a textile buyer.

And I'm having an open continental sandwich in the coffee bar.

And I'm saying, "Well, gentlemen,

"what about a large smoked salmon on the Commissioners of Inland Revenue?"

What if they look for us in those places?

They wouldn't find us.

- We've disappeared. We don't exist. - Just for an hour.

- Or longer. - Oh, no, I can't.

Business lunches stretch out endlessly.

Can't spend much time on an open continental sandwich.

- What? - Still...

They're quite good though, those sandwiches.

You look so small in that overcoat.

What do I look like?

A child in the park on a snowy morning.

You don't think I'm the sort of girl who comes to a place like this?

Of course not.

Well, why am I here?

- My fault. - No.

- That must be the sort of girl I am. - You're not!

And what about you?

Is this how all your lunch hours are passed, with some girl or other?

And perhaps you have to sneak out of the office at 4:00

for a great enormous high tea.

I've never been here before.

- Honestly? - Honestly.

I'm sorry.

Oh, I love you.

Say it again.

I love you.

- How long? - Well...

Since the day you arrived at the office.

Thank you.

Bit of new'?

Art school, if you ask my opinion. Well, they present no problems.

- Girls. - What?

- I said, "girls". - Oh, yeah.

Well, they can't spell, they can't type. They make £15 a week,

which took me the best part of my life to rise up to and what use are they?

Will you please tell me that, number two?

Oh, yes, they can read their horoscopes all day.

They fill their desks with wet towels and flannels and toothpaste.

They bung up the toilet with tea leaves. They burst into tears

if you so much as mention the fact that they're half an hour late.

- What earthly use they are... - Excuse me.

Hmm.

Well, hello, you're going to brighten up our wallpaper.

What do you care for? Penguin biscuit, Choc'Roll?

- Not really. - Care for a cup of tea?

Thank you.

I think I'm being got something, actually.

Well, would you have liked a ham sandwich?

I'm not hungry.

Hello.

Excuse me.

- You settling in all right, miss, urn... - Yes. Yes, thank you.

I'm Chief of Personnel.

It's my job to look after the health and happiness of you young ladies.

And I get paid for doing it. Amazing isn't it?

- From art school, aren't you? - Essex Technical.

I thought so. It's a funny thing, in Personnel

we can always tell the ones that hail from art school.

- More poise, more experience of life. - Have they?

Hmm. I suppose it's all the parties they've lived through.

Gives them that relaxed expression.

- Well, I didn't go to many parties. - Smoke?

Well, I thought we weren't allowed to...

Oh, we can relax the rules and regulations once in a while,

-in special cases. - Excuse me, sir.

- Your tea. - Thank you.

- You're Harris's number two, aren't you? - That's right.

I thought you types were meant to have tea served in the office.

Well, we relax rules and regulations once in a while.

Hmm, well, don't forget to come up to Personnel

anytime anything is worrying you,

any trivial little thing,

and we can chew it over in the privacy of the office.

Thank you. There's nothing worrying me.

Mmm-mmm.

Mmm.

I thought you types had tea in your office?

To tell you the truth, I'm glad to get out of there.

Oh, and honour us with your presence.

I'm only a number two on the executive side.

Still, you do have your own hat stand.

- You know a lot, don't you? - Not everything.

I don't know where the print room is.

Don't you, really?

No, the supervisor said to me,

"Go down to the print room, dear, and chase them up on a Spanish lvy."

And I just said, "Yes". And now I'm stranded.

- Finished your tea? - Yes.

- I'll show you where it is. - Thank you.

It's a bit, um, tricky on your own.

Eh, dolly, dolly, dolly, dolly. What you're doing down here, then?

The new one. Hey, what about me, then?

- Hey, come on. - Who are you, dolly?

-Isn't she lovely? - Beautiful.

Something funny?

What are you doing with that Spanish Ivy, growing it?

You'll have it tomorrow.

- I'll tell the supervisor then? - Yes.

- Promise for tomorrow? - Yes, yes.

This way, miss.

-I'm glad you came with me. - I beg your pardon?

I'm glad you came.

Well, printers are like that. They can't help it.

- Still, I'm glad you came. - I can't hear a word you're saying.

I'm glad you came with me!

You tired?

A bit.

I did 24 new colourings on Spanish Ivy today with roses.

They work you hard.

Fiddling things, roses, especially in bud.

Where do you live?

- Are there any more at home like you? - What?

That's what that stupid designer asks me every day.

Well, I didn't ask you that.

No, you're different.

Am I?

Well, then where do you live?

- In a haven. - Where?

Hostel for offlce workers, Bloomsbury Square. The Happy Haven.

Better known as the morgue.

- What's that like, then? - Not bad.

In at 11:00. No smoking on Sunday.

No telly after 10:00 and no boyfriends past the games room on pain of death.

- Have you got a boyfriend? - Not particularly.

I like reading, going to the pictures.

Well, I can't get out in the evenings.

Oh.

It's just not very convenient for me to get out.

-It's all right. - No, I'll tell you...

I'll tell you how I spend my evenings.

You wouldn't believe how I have to spend my evenings.

- Wouldn't I? - No.

She's gotten hold of so many labour-saving devices,

I have to spend all night with a screwdriver in my hand,

keeping them in order.

- She's your... - Yes.

Dishwasher, ironer, Vegmaster.

And then now she's gotten hold of an electric polisher that lights up.

What's the idea behind that, then?

To spot the dust.

Well, I mean, if there's only two of you,

what's the point in keeping the place humming like a factory?

I expect you're right.

Of course, in the daytime, well,

I'm more my own master then.

It's nice, this garden.

Yes, they keep it very nice.

Look at those flowers. Straight as soldiers.

She'll never have any.

- The untidiness would drive her... - I never asked you.

No, you didn't.

- What are they anyway? - What?

- Well, those flowers. - Geraniums.

- Make a good wallpaper. - Don't even speak of it.

Who invented walls anyway?

- You've settled in now, haven't you? - What do you mean?

Well, I mean, in the offlce. I mean, you're more happy.

Yes, yes.

What do they call this place?

- Well, the Embankment Gardens. - Mmm-hmm.

They get very friendly here, in the Embankment Gardens, don't they?

Well, probably they've got nowhere else to go.

- Why did you give him such a lot? - Just to celebrate.

I'm going to Ealing. You?

Gower Street, it's the other direction.

- Beautiful. - What?

- Those roses. - Fiddling things.

Not going out?

I wasn't hungry. What about you?

Well, I wasn't hungry either.

Must be very satisfying.

What must be very satisfying?

Well, to be able to paint as well as that.

Oh, I expect you could if you had the practice.

- Go on, have a try. - No, I couldn't do that.

Go on. I would've said you were artistic, looking at you.

No, no, no.

I used to make up stories though, when I was a kid.

- Go on. - Mmm. I used to write them down even.

Don't get time for that. Not nowadays.

But they said I had imagination, for a kid.

I bet you did.