The Client List

Previously on The Client List...

Derek, you have built up our female client base

faster than I could've ever expected.

Looking good.

What is happening with you and your co-worker?

Riley, it's your mother.

She's had an accident.

You're so sweet to let me move in.

I want you to know I can help out.

More meds in three hours.

Dale and I have decided to see a fertility specialist.

Good for you, Lace.

Dale's crabby. The whole thing is awful.

Already made it clear that you won't give up your accomplice.

There is something else I could help --

some things that would mean a lot more to a prosecutor.

They'll let anybody in the police academy these days.

Hey! Hey! Don't do it.

Shelby. In case you're wondering.

You are their Uncle,

and them seeing me kissing you and playing house with you,

it's confusing. Absolutely cannot do this anymore.

Oh.

Okay, um...

This is for Linette. Yeah.

Okay. Well, she hates her birthdays.

And we ignore that every year. Yep.

Uncle Evan!

Hey, guys. Okay, kids. You know what?

I need you to go get your coats, please,

'cause we don't want to miss the opening number.

Sorry. We're running late.

Uh... What are you doing?

Riley, this is tearing me apart.

Yeah. Me too.

But you know what? We need to have some boundaries.

Can you just explain to me

how this is all supposed to work now?

The hell if I know, Evan. Hey, kids!

Peter Pan, he waits for no one. Let's go.

We really are running late. Riley. Please, don't do this.

Please don't make this any harder than it already is.

This has been hard for you?

'Cause it seems like it's been pretty damn easy.

Evan, you have no idea.

Mom! Hey.

Katie won't give me my jacket back. Oh, my gosh.

You know what? I have a solution.

Everybody take a coat and let's go! Peter Pan!

Come on!

You got to go. Sorry, Evan. Okay. Go ahead.

Go ahead. Evan, I'm gonna call you.

Oh, just think happier thoughts.

It'll make you fly.

Bonjour.

Is someone ticklish?

Always knew I'd love France.

Have you been?

Almost. What happened?

I met the one, and after we got married,

she developed some pretty serious travel anxieties.

Oh, fear of flying?

Fear of planes, fear of boats, anything that goes over water.

That's too bad.

I imagine that's got to be tough.

We worked it out.

My wife knows about my craving for foreign adventures

and encourages me to seek them out.

I'm not sure that I heard you right,

but it's okay for you to cheat?

It's not cheating when you're honest.

That's one way to look at it.

Basically, I can travel anywhere

as long as I am home in time for dinner.

Well, whatever makes you two happy.

We have a dream marriage.

People think it's a lack of monogamy

that tears marriages apart, but it's the lack of trust.

I can't imagine finding out

that the person you share your life with has been living a lie.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

Okay.

One, two...

Happy Birthday!

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

We surprised you. Yeah.

Yes, the kids wanted to make sure

that you had a break-feast.

So make a wish, mama.

What'd you wish for?

I can't tell you. It won't come true.

These look delicious, but you know,

mee maw's not feeling very hungry this morning.

That's okay. We are.

"Shades of Desire"?

Does Nicholas Sparks know that you're cheating on him?

Give me that.

And don't start.

You know how much I hate birthdays.

Hey. Good morning.

Morning. Coffee.

I need coffee.

And that taco.

Oh, these are for mama's birthday.

Linette wants to celebrate her birthday this year?

I don't know, but she did get herself a present.

It comes many shades.

Oh, good for her.

You are drinking your coffee black.

What's going on? Spill it.

Wait. Have you talked to Evan yet?

You are changing the subject, so what's going on?

Oh.

Dale's been acting kind of distant.

You're married. That happens.

And his clothes have been extra sweaty when he gets home,

and you know how Dale is about air conditioning.

Okay, you don't seriously think he's messing around?

I mean, let's just remember who we're talking about here.

We are talking about... Dale.

But you never know.

You have nothing to worry about.

You're probably right.

I usually am.

Now, there's one more thing.

Dale has been spending a lot of time at the office,

even though he's a truck driver,

and he said he had to make a last-minute run to Phoenix.

I checked his odometer. He only went five miles.

I'm sure that there's an explanation,

but if it will make you feel better,

next time he goes to the office, we will...

Follow him.

I don't know what I would do if I caught Dale with someone.

Oh!

You're under arrest.

You don't see that every day -- two ladies wrestling.

Am I right?

And I've seen enough for today.

Some of you -- and you know who you are, Parks ---

need to get in better shape

before I let you hit the streets.

Now move.

Need some help with that? No, I got it.

Don't worry. I can be gentle, too.

Sorry if I got a little rough.

Yeah. Where'd that come from?

I had three older brothers who loved to pick on me.

I started serving justice at a young age.

Yeah, well, don't take this the wrong way and pin me again,

but I had no idea you were so strong.

There's a lot about me you don't know.

Oh.

Oh.

Now you know why I never take my shirt off in here.

Afghanistan?

Shrapnel wounds.

Not a pretty picture, huh?

No. I think you got it wrong.

They're hot.

Hero hot.

Mm.

Hey.

Get a room.

You know, Selena, you really should be wearing a bell.

If I did, at least I'd get it rung once in a while.

Oh, don't sell yourself short.

That thing would be ringing all day.

Got to go.

Does nothing for me.

Okay, so how do you know where to go?

I put a family tracker on Dale's phone.

You what? Everyone does it now.

You know, to track wayward teens.

Just take a right at the stop sign.

I can't believe he is doing it 1.7 miles from our house.

Lacey, I'm just gonna say this. It's -- it's Dale.

I know.

He better not be doing it.

He's not doing anything.

He better not be.

Guess we found Dale's office.

Okay. It's just his car.

Could be anything.

What about now?

Uh...

Please. Did you see her?

She was like 20.

Okay. We don't even know what he did yet.

She had a tramp stamp.

Should I grab something heavy to bash down the door with?

Uh, or you can just knock.

Got it. Knock then bash.

Or just knock.

Where's my husband?

Husband?

Don't act like you did not see his ring.

Honey, come back and play.

This baby's seconds from being muffled.

Dale, there's two hysterical chicks here to see you.