Darkwing Duck

3, 2, 1!

Let's get dangerous.

Darkwing, Darkwing... Duck!

Look out!

Let's get dangerous.

What's the hurry?

Is it an emergency call from S.C.U.S.H.?

Nothing so trivial.

Then what? Meeting with a crime boss?

Cornering a blood-sucking alien?

Well, you're close. I have a meeting with my TV producer.

Ah, good afternoon, Mr. Duck.

Always a thrill when stars visit Dizzy Studios.

Ha-ha, well, glad I could make your day, citizen.

But, uh, how come you're not wearing your sailor suit?

I believe you have the wrong Duck.

Really? I thought you were...

Come on, Dad. He's a security guard

He probably doesn't get to watch TV.

Yeah, well, a normal person should recognize a star when they see one.

Look. There's a real star!

See?

Can I have your autograph?

You're a role model for contemporary women everywhere.

I never dreamed I would actually be meeting you.

Huh huh huh-hee-hee-huh-huh-hmmm..

Could I have your autograph?

We really love watching your adventures.

Well, I... if I can bring a little pleasure into your lives...

Must be nice to get out of that sailor suit, huh?

I want a bigger publicity budget

and I want it now!

Nobody recognized me!

Darkwing! Ah, Babe!

Of course, they recognize you,

they're just nervous in the presence of greatness.

They are?

Oh, brother.

Uuuhh, let me guess...

You want to sign me for some new episodes.

Well, here's what I want...

One... a much bigger dressing room.

Two... a personal masseuse.

Three... my own popcorn maker...

Uh, actually, the research shows that the audience is sick of Darkwing Duck.

Four... I want a..gaag... a heart and lung machine.

Dad! Are you ok?

Ok, ok, so maybe that's putting it a little strongly.

We feel the show needs a new gimmick,

a reason to tune in, like a spin-off character.

Now you're talking...

I see me in an action adventure.

Lots of car chases and explosions.

Br-r-r-r-r!

Or maybe we play the fantasy angle.

They killed her friends and stole her dad's soul.

This time it's personal.

Gosalyn Mallard, Zombie Slayer!

So when do my people call your people?

Sorry, kiddo. Nobody wants a little girl for a star.

What?!

Except me. I love the idea!

We're already working on it.

Just waiting for the rewrites.

It's just, ah, that we already have someone in mind

to help this series.

Crosby, bring in our guest.

Yes, sir, Mr. Rockwell.

I tell you, this guy is just the gimmick your show needs.

Hi, everybody.

Not you!

Bushroot?

Stay back! A little weed killer and that vexing veggie is cow food.

Hey! Watch where you point that thing!

You're compost now. Hey!

Chill out a sec, Wingster.

Bushroot is your new gimmick.

Mr. Rockwell says I'll bring in a whole new audience.

Yeah, of what? Cabbage Patch Kids.

Don't think plant. Think mutant.

Mutants watch TV?

Mutants are all over the place...

Comic books, television, movies.

Say, Bushroot, do you know any of that ninja chop saki stuff?

Is that like chow mein or something?

Let's go Gosalyn.

I'm not turning over my show

to some ambulating eggplant with delusions of grandeur.

Did you forget, Darkwing?

You're under contract.

Better read the fine print.

It's all fine print and I've read every word.

I bet you missed the edge.

The edge?

"We hold this truth self-evident

that the studio is always right."

Perfect.

Ha-ha. That's the spirit, Dark.

Crosby, the scripts.

Yes, sir, Mr. Rockwell. Right away.

We took some of your recent adventures and tried 'em in a different format...

Action, comedy, game show, that sort of thing.

Game show?

Hey, D.W., just trying to put the best spin on your series.

Go out there and break a leg.

Don't tempt me.

But my talents are perfect for live-action films,

not babysitting a bunch of barnyard refugees.

Hoh! Oh, yes, sir!

Of course not, Mr. Dizzy.

I-I didn't mean to imply... Absolutely. Nothing without you.

Yeh...yes, sir.

Boy, can he be cranky.

Crosby! Where are those video tapes?

Right here, sir.

Good boy.

Once Bushroot's the star of the show

I can pay him in plant fertilizer,

and keep the big bucks for myself.

And all we have to do is dump Darkwing Duck.

All right, Crosby, roll it.

Boy, howdy!

We'll have this mountain flattened in no time at all.

Ain't progress wonderful?

Just look at those beauties.

Yeah, this mountain will be wall-to-wall condos.

As soon as we can get those trees out of the way.

Oh, yes, and don't forget the mini-malls

with just oodles of dress shops, shoe stores,

and cooking boutiques.

Ha-ha! Well, you ain't waitin' on me.

I am the ivy that clogs your pipes.

I am the tap root that clogs your pipes.

I am Bushroot.

Achoo! I got hay fever something awful.

You'll have worse than that if you trample my trees.

This isn't just a forest,

it's my friend.

Oh, but look, we followed all proper procedures,

including an environmental impact report.

But this says the environment will be ruined.

Well... yes, but the point is

we filed the report on time.

So if you'll kindly stand aside, fellow...

All right, let's get deciduous.

Yoo-hooo-hooo-hooo!

Whoa! I guess that's one way to get yourself a parking spot.

I am the Terror that Flaps in the Night.

I am the slug that slimes your petunias.

I am...

Herb muddlefoot cast as a construction worker?

No, actually, that's my part.

Yes. And I'm a high-powered, money-grubbing land developer

with absolutely no redeeming values whatsoever.

It's a stretch, but we figured it was a good career move.

Besides, we really didn't have a choice.

Let me guess...

Something on the edge of your contract?

Well, my job is still the same...

To turn this antisocial artichoke into Cole slaw.

You're the one who's antisocial.

I'm protecting the environment.

Oh, yeah? Well, I'm...

You... you can't go around breaking the law.

And we have building permits and that makes us right.

Yeah... sort of.

Take him down, boys!

No, no, no! This is just the same show,

but with a dandelion instead of a duck.

We have to draw in a new audience

to increase our ratings.

Yes, sir, Mr. Rockwell.

Perhaps this tape? It's designed to attract a younger target group.

Hey, kids! Hoo-hoo-hoo-up!

What time is it?

It's Bushroot time!

Yea! Yea! Yea! Yea!

Then let's get started, ok?

Say, where are my flower friends?

Oh, there they are...

Farmer Binkey and Mr. Muddlefoot. Yeah!

Oh, tell me, who's going to be my blossom buddies for today?

Why, two of our finest ferns...

Gosalyn Mallard and Honker Muddlefoot.

Yea! Yea! Yea!

You two know what to do.

When we hear the secret word "aardvark"

we let 'em have it.

Then it's time for Puppet Adventure Theatre. Yea!

Remember, last time, the evil mystery Duck was trying

to stop me from saving the forest.

Gaa! Caa! Gaa-gaa!