Holy Flying Circus

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- That's a bit controversial, isn't it?

Holy Circus.

I'll sit over here.

- Hello, Graham. - Johnny.

Morning, Murray.

So...

What did you think?

Of the rough cut?

Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.

Loved it.

- I think it might be the best thing we've done.

Oh, easily. By miles.

Now, I've spoken to Chris, who's head of North America,

and we'd like to open it first in the States.

Oh, terrific. Really terrific.

- So what's the thinking? - Ah.

Well, the First Amendment guarantees the right

to freedom of speech.

Plus it's a melting pot.

There's all kinds of different religions out there.

And it's Hollywood.

And Chris reckons you're ready to play with the big boys now.

Jolly good.

I love Americans.

Here in New York City,

Monty Python's Life of Brian

had its world premiere,

and Americans have come from far and wide to see it.

Not to watch the film, but to protest against it.

I'm going to ask them why.

- This film is disgusting. - Enough with the stereotypes.

I mean, it's not funny. How is this funny?

Life Of Brian is an evil film.

And Monty Python is an evil man.

- I would like to say it's morally repugnant.

And also, kill the blacks.

I agree with him.

Except the bit about killing black people.

Obviously, that's not cool.

Well, that went well.

I knew it. Americans.

Total idiots.

Waste of space.

Wasn't all bad.

I got this lovely jacket.

Yes. Very nice.

- We won't have the same problems here though, right?

Protests here?

No, I wouldn't think so, no.

Because the great British public,

they aren't quick to judge or completely closed-minded.

Oh, no, sorry.

They are quick to judge and massively closed-minded.

- Not the queers. - Apart from the queers.

- Right, here are the press cuttings

and early box office breakdowns.

Oh, god.

Listen to this. This is from Variety.

Rabbi Hecht says the film, quote,

"Could result in violence."

Oh, yes.

Copycat crucifixions. I hadn't thought of that.

That is a worry, isn't it? Cretin.

I mean, they've been out of favor for 2,000 years,

but suddenly all the kids'll be doing it.

"Hey, Johnny, want to come out for a kick-about?"

"No, no, no.

Me and Gary thought we'd nail his brother to a tree."

- Yeah, I think the Rabbi meant violent protest,

as in violence against us.

- Right. - Well, that wasn't clear.

- It sort of was. - Wasn't.

- Was. - Wasn't.

- Really was. - Really wasn't.

- He goes on to say the film was produced in Hell.

Oh, I love that.

- Could we have a scene where we show

some Christians killing some babies?

- Oh, yeah, funny. - That is funny. I like that.

Jesus having sex with Judas?

Good. Offensive. Put that in.

- Maybe a scene where Jesus is on the cross

and gets quite turned on and ejaculates over everyone?

Oh, that is sick.

No, that's- you've gone way too far.

That crosses a fucking line.

Oh. Crap! Ugh.

- So while you're all in the same room, gents,

I just need you to sign these release forms

for distribution in France.

- Oh, so we're getting released in France?

- Yeah. - Have you seen French films?

It's all picnics and incest.

You can't shock that lot.

And what about here?

There's no need to worry.

- Uh, well, I wasn't gonna worry,

but, um, now you've said there's no need to worry,

I'm thinking I might worry.

- You're not getting cold feet, are you, Barry?

No, course not.

All I'm saying is, you know,

let's not project it on to the side of Westminster Abbey

or, you know,

start selling Life of Brian Christmas crackers.

Have you seen.

Monty Python's Life of Brian Christmas crackers?

Knock knock.

- Who's there? - No-one.

We're all alone in a godless universe.

- Monty Python's Life of Brian Christmas crackers.

Fun for all the family,

as long as you're not Christian,

easily offended, or expecting good jokes.

So...

it's all going okay here so far?

- Yes, there's been the odd article.

Nothing too bad. Mind you, we haven't opened yet.

If it wasn't going well,

if things got bad,

would you be okay?

- Even if all the religious leaders in the world

denounce you, I'll be there for you.

Thank you.

Until we die,

when I'll go to heaven, and you'll be in hell.

- That's nice. - Oh, I'm joking!

It's a joke.

It's not a very funny joke.

- Terry would have found it funny.

Terry's got a terrific sense of humor.

Can I have a cuddle?

Oh, of course you can.

Oh, God, gently, love!

Sorry.

Sorry.

I just came from Wildlife.

Shall we begin?

Right! Listen up.

I'm in charge.

This is the office for Friday Night, Saturday Morning?

Yes.

Good. Well, listen up.

I know you were all expecting to be working with Trevor,

and I'm sure you were terribly saddened by his sudden death,

but I'm in charge now, and he's history.

Moving on.

Point two-that was point one-

Point two.

I don't care what you think you were doing before.

You're not doing that now.

You, what did you think you were doing?

A chat show?

Wrong!

Chat shows are bullshit.

I don't want to make a chat show.

People chatting? Uh-uh.

Boring. People talking?

Now you're talking.

I'm not sure I follow.

- I want this show to be about where Britain's at today.

The '60s were all free love, anything goes.

The '70s were No Sex Please, We're British,

and everything's a downer.

We're about to head into a new decade.

What will the Britain of the future be like?

Will it be prim

or full of quim?

Oh, dear God.

You! Bring me a chair.

- So how are you going to do all that

on what will essentially be

something quite like a chat show?

. Okay-

Uh, random example.

We have a homeless guy.

- What? - Hear me out, big man.

We have a homeless guy on the same show as the Queen.

Oh, right-Really?

No, it's just an example.

I'm showing you what's possible.

I'm reaching into your tiny mind

and opening the doors of the TARDIS.

It's a police box. Whoosh!

No it's not. It's Narnia.

You!

I want you to build me a set

that looks like I've dropped acid in Hawaii.

Oh, yeah.

I'm out there.

It's gonna be like when Dylan went electric.

That's what's happening, so boo me, beardy,

or get on board.

Sorry, who are you?

Well, I'm Alan Dick.

I'm the new BBC Head of Talk.

So, uh, I'm confused.

It's my first day.

Do I answer to you,