Mom

Tammy Diffendorf.

Hey.

Hey, Eve.

Oh, I see you brought your friend. Again.

Not just friend. Advocate.

You know, so you can't plant drugs on her.

I'm her parole officer.

If she goes back to jail, I look bad.

Do ya? Or do you get a kickback for feeding the machine?

I brought you my pay stubs,

um, and gave them my urine sample at the front desk.

Clean handoff this week... no spillage.

Um, Bonnie can vouch for my AA meetings.

- Kay, Tammy... - I took video,

but just don't look at the other people,

'cause it's supposed to be anonymous.

Although there might be a bass player

from a sort of famous band in there.

That's all you get.

Okay, stop.

Tammy... I've got some news for you.

I recommended you for early release from parole.

Seriously?

You've been totally clean for a year now.

You've never missed any of our appointments.

You're one of my success stories.

Yeah. You're one of our success stories.

This is amazing.

So when do we find out?

I can put you in front of a judge Tuesday at 10:00 a.m.

- Perfect. - Ooh.

10:00's not good for me. Could we make it 11:30?

This may stun you...

but you're not required for this.

Eve, buddy, this is our win.

It doesn't happen without you and me.

- And me. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Well, either way, it's 10:00 a.m.

I'll move some things around.

Thanks, buddy.

*MOM* Season 07 Episode 09

*MOM* Title : "Tuna Florentine and a Clean Handoff"

Sync corrections by srjanapala

To Tammy Diffendorf, free woman.

- Oh... - To Tammy.

Thanks, guys. It still doesn't even seem real.

I was in the courtroom. It's real.

And boring when you're not the defendant.

Christy, I don't know why you want to be a lawyer.

So I can help people.

Well, you all helped me. I would not

be a free woman if it weren't for you guys.

- Aw. - Aw.

But especially...

Oh, right. My higher power.

Okay, and...

- Myself. - Uh-huh. Also?

Please thank my mom

or we'll never get through this moment.

Bonnie, no, it goes without saying.

But you could say it.

I would still be in jail if you hadn't been there for me

- when I needed you. - There it is. Mm.

Salads for everyone.

Hold on. Are you offering to pay for lunch?

As a matter of fact, I am.

With a credit card from a bank in this country

with my real name on it.

Base salad only. Nobody add protein.

But I'm starving.

Fine. I'll cover shrimp.

But I'm allergic.

Listen, I have not been sleeping,

so you will eat the shrimp and you will love it.

Then later, I'm gonna use this

to buy my husband a spectacular birthday present.

Something he wants or something you want?

Excuse me?

That's what you do.

When I turned six

you gave me a coffeemaker.

Because you made the coffee.

And also, I was tired of seeing you scald your little hands.

That's why I don't have a thumbprint.

- Happy birthday! - Whoa!

Open it.

Wow. Okay.

Let me take the bow off for you.

Ah, man, that's great.

I know. Remember last month when we were watching TV

and there was a random guy in the background

and you said you loved his jacket

and I didn't even know what you were talking about,

so we went back and paused it?

Also, I had no idea our TV could do that.

Anyway, this is that jacket.

Oh.So you really like it?

I do. Thank you, honey.

Put it on, put it on.

Oh, my God.

So hot. If I were a few years younger,

I'd be pregnant right now.

"Inspected by 12."

Aw, 12, he's the best.

Birthday breakfast.

Birthday boy gets

whatever he wants.

What... he wants.

You love it?

I love you both.

But the jacket more.

I did it!

Did what? Do I want to know?

I gave Adam something he really wanted for his birthday.

Really? You're married and you're still doing that?

A gorgeous leather, very expensive jacket.

And you know it's classy 'cause they had

the "can't steal it" wire on it.

And you know I'm classy 'cause I didn't steal it.

Aw, Mom, good for you.

This is gonna sound crazy, but it almost feels like

it's better giving a gift than getting one.

You mean it's better to give than to receive?

I like the way I said it.

Hey, happy birthday.

Aw, thanks.

Where's your jacket?

Babe, I'm still in my pajamas.

But I want Christy to see it.

Go get it. No, you'll take forever.

I'll go get it.

I got you a card and a coupon Oh...

for one free consultation

- when I become a lawyer. - Ah.

Or, if I flunk out of law school,

one free hug.

Which I will definitely need.

Ah, you drew a little picture of you with a briefcase.

Yeah, and a scarf. That's gonna be my thing.

Oh. Thanks, Christy.

All right, arms out.

Let's get this bad boy on this bad boy.

Oh, wow, Mom, you did great.

He looks fantastic.

- I did, didn't I? He does, doesn't he? - Yeah.

I am delicious.

What, you're taking it off?

I'm gonna hop in the shower. I love it. Thank you.

- Huh. - What?

Well, I just thought he'd be a little more,

you know, "Pow. Nailed it.

You're the best wife ever."

Maybe a few tears of joy?

Would it kill him?

Want to see the coupon I got him?

You need so much validation.

All right, tonight we live.

Two words: Fancy Feast.

Are you drooling, Carlos Santana?

I think you are. And I don't blame you.

You've got "Tuna Florentine with garden greens

in a delicate sauce." Enjoy.

What in the hot hell is going on here?

I'm feeding the cats.

Tuna Florentine

is for special occasions.

Carlos, do not eat that.

This is a special occasion. I'm a free woman.

They get sick if they eat too much rich food.

- You know the rules. - Aw,

screw the rules.

Poor things are trapped in these four walls.

They eat when you tell them to eat,

no one's allowed on the bed,

and they all have to use the same bathroom.

Let 'em live.

When you get your own cats, you can do it your way.

Spread the word. I'm leaving a window open tonight.

Wings, a beer, and a shot.

Good morning.

Ah, the one thing my wife didn't get in the divorce:

- my drinking problem. - Well...

it's like they say:

why is divorce so expensive? 'Cause it's worth it.

Not that I would know. I've never been married.

How is that possible?

Well, I never really met the right guy, and also,

I was in prison for the last seven years.

Ooh, tall and dangerous.

And no longer on parole.

I can do what I want when I want, and who want.

Tammy,

- can I see you for a sec? - Ah.

Uh-oh, boss is getting jealous.

He should be.

- Tammy. - Whaaat?!

Can I speak to you?

What is your problem? Mike's fed, watered

and ready to sprout.

That's my problem.