Southland

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

Aah! Let me go!

After 20 years on the job,

Officer John Cooper has been wondering

how his fellow officers will remember him,

but right now the only thing he can think about

is hanging on.

The one Gonzo pulled on Anderson...

...That was legendary, man.

I've heard. I've heard.

Man, that guy was dead wood on the missing persons desk.

But, man, could he pull off a prank.

What's up?

Where is it? Where's what?

Your wife...

Asked the same question.

My towel. Where's my towel?

I-I don't know. - I haven't seen it.

Fischer, have you? No. Jones?

Not me.

Really?

We got roll call in 10 minutes.

You know what?

Actually, I think I saw it by your locker.

Yeah? Yeah.

Oh.

You're assholes, huh?

You better start peeling.

Yeah?

You're way out of your league, Sherman.

Oh, really? Yeah. You better watch your six.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

- Numbers are in. - Guess what.

Since the early release of nonviolent offenders

to comply with the federal court order,

violent crime has gone up.

Shocking.

Yeah.

So over the last three months,

we've averaged 13.8 violent crimes,

57.5 property crimes per week.

Should have shot them all right out of the gate.

Same's been said about you.

- Whoa, whoa! - Hey, hey.

Hey, brass ain't happy, either, okay?

So we got to hustle out there, get the numbers down.

Got aggravated assaults jumping off on Hollywood and Cherokee,

as well as the 1100th block of Vine.

So, let's up the visibility in those areas, all right?

Now, before everyone rolls out, I just want to take a moment.

I want to recognize Officer John Cooper.

20 years of service

in the Los Angeles Police Department.

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

Hey, hey.

This lazy S.O.B. punched out 10 years ago

and forgot to tell the city.

Actually, it'll be 22 in April, Sarge,

but, uh, well, that figures, doesn't it?

Hey, Sarge, when's the department gonna start

passing these things out on time?

Oh, it's not my gig.

You can take that up with the service pin person, okay?

Hey, I'm gonna run a tab over at O'Malley's

in honor of Cooper, all right?

Hey, the first round's gonna be on Dewey.

That's right. All the coffee you can drink!

All right. Roll out. Be safe. Let's go.

How's it feel to be number seven?

What do you mean, seven?

I looked you up.

You're the seventh oldest guy on patrol.

I prefer "most experienced."

22 years -- that's a long time

to be lugging that 15-pound Sam Browne all over the place.

Time flies when you're having fun.

Fun?

More like futile.

You don't like it, take the sergeant's test.

I am.

Move up in the ranks, get off the streets.

Really? Yeah.

I wanted to before. I just, uh -- I got sidetracked.

Sure you're not gonna miss all this? Hell, no.

Every day is a new day.

You know what?

I'm not leaving till I get six stripes.

Six?

Plus one day.

30 years. Good luck with that, gramps.

Morning, partner.

Morning.

Got your usual.

Mm. No, I'm not really hungry.

Oh, yeah. That first trimester is rough.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

You might as well drink ripple.

Caffeine's not good for the baby.

Do you always make it a point

to stick your nose in other people's business?

Ah, so you are.

What next? You're gonna make some offensive statement

about women and PMS?

I ain't crazy.

Yeah. You are crazy.

Robinson.

Oh, yeah. Let me, uh, write that down.

Okay. Got it.

All right. We're on it.

Home invasion went sideways on the West Side.

Mm. Yeah, let me go to the bathroom before we go.

Morning sickness. Mm, mm, mm.

Gets better after week 16.

You know what? Take your time.

He will still be dead when we get there.

It is too early in the morning for all of that.

- I'm trying to go to school! - Get in your room!

I'm sorry I'm not who you want me to be! Go to your room!

No, you're not who we want you to be!

Don't say that to him!

Hey!

Police!

We got a call that there was a disturbance here.

We -- we didn't call the police.

No, your neighbors did.

Yeah, they -- they won't let me go to school!

Just be quiet. Is that true?

We're looking into other schools.

I'm not transferring! Yes, you are! Yes, you are!

Go! Get in the back!

You don't -- you don't care about anything!

All right, all right, everybody, just relax!

Just relax. Stop it!

Is there something wrong with the school?

No, there's nothing wrong with the school.

He's the one with the problem.

He -- he's -- he's texting nude photos of himself

to other guys.

He said he liked me.

Okay, I didn't know he was gonna send it all through the school.

You -- you really think this is how I wanted to come out?

How could you be so goddamn stupid?!

Just stop it.

I mean, weren't you thinking!? Stop it!

I was thinking! Stop!

You're not going back there. Hey!

I got to deal with this, mom. Okay? No more hiding.

No, honey, we don't want to see you get hurt.

What are we supposed to say to our friends at church, huh?

Screw them! I'm your son!

Okay. All right.

You. Hey.

Come out here.

Can I come inside, please?

I-I mean, do you have to?

Well, I don't have to, but I'd like to.

What's your name?

Mike.

Mike?

You got to calm down, Mike.

All right, no.

They're trying to process this, okay?

Yeah. I knew they'd freak.

Are you sure you want to go back?

You on their side?

No, I'm not on their side, all right?

What you do in your bedroom is your business.

But you can be who you are

without making yourself a walking target.

High school can be tough.

How the hell you know?

Michael, get back here!

I'm going to school!

No, please, don't go, Michael!

Okay, just let him go.

C-can you -- can you stop him?

Can't arrest him for going to school.

There he is.

Call in for air support.

A36.

Show us in pursuit of a late model BMW...

Orange and black...

on Central.

This is it.

Here. Shit!

Oh! Oh! Shit!

Didn't see that coming.

Sheriff's lot truck was stolen last night.

It was found in the parking garage in the 909 this morning.

Anything missing?

Nothing too serious, just a couple of machine guns.

Someone's gonna have their junk in a wringer

over that one. No shit.

Man.

Something going on over here.

Oh! Officers, thank God you're here!

They took him!

Okay. Okay. Miss, you're gonna have to calm down.

What's going on?

My son was kidnapped.