Beautiful Girls

Nice playing, Will.

Thanks.

How you getting up there?

- Going by bus. - How long's that?

It's... five, six hours.

- How about some food? - No, I'm good. I'll see you.

- One to Knight's Ridge. - One-way or round trip?

- One-way. How much is that? - $48.

There you go.

OK. Gate 62. That way and turn right. Have a good trip.

That's it.

Oh, shit.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Here you go. - Thanks.

No 'buca. What's the matter? No Sambuca this time?

- It's five in the morning, Kev. - Is that too late or too early?

You guys done for the night?

- Yeah. - Big storm.

- I didn't have any styrofoam. - That's OK. I'll bring 'em back.

- OK. - OK.

- Bye, Kev. - Yeah.

- I'll see you. - Bye.

- What? - The styrofoam thing creases me.

- What are you talking about? - First storm,

you'd think she'd get some styrofoam cups for, like, $1.99.

- I'll return the mugs this time. - Shut your fucking hole.

- The chick's married, Tommy. - No shit.

- She's not home. - Where is she?

- Banging that guy. - Buddy, she's sleeping.

I'll bet $20 she's banging that guy.

- Bad bet. - Bad bet? Why?

Either way, you lose. If you win, she's bangin' him.

If you lose, you lose 20 bucks. Not a smart bet.

- I can't believe her. - You really think she is?

- I know. - The meat cutter?

Yes. The fucking meat cutter.

What future can she have? He cuts meat!

- You plough snow. - At least meat you can eat.

- Why is he here? - He's an employee.

All right. I'm outta here. I'll see you at home.

- Don't go by Jan's. - I'm not.

- Hey. - You sand my lots?

- Yeah. Don't go by there. - I'm not. Just get my lots.

- He's going by there. - Without a doubt.

- Do I got anything in my 'stache? - You're clean.

Willie!

- Willie! - Hey, Mo!

- How you doing, man? - All right. Good to see you.

- Good to be back? - I've been back four minutes.

- You remember Cheryl and Michael Jr.? - Wow, Mo, they're...

cute.

- Yeah. You still seeing that chick? - What do you mean by seeing?

- You're not engaged? - No.

Well, it's been... what, a year?

11 months, living together for six.

- She hasn't put pressure on you? - Depends what you mean by pressure.

Hey, kids.

- Hey, you psyched for the reunion? - Oh, yeah.

- It's great to be back. - The gang back together.

- Everybody's coming? - Oh, yeah, everybody.

I can't wait to show you the house.

Come over for brunch. Sarah'll make her waffles.

- Great. Thanks for the ride. - No problem. You OK with this?

Yeah, I'm OK. I'm fine.

I'm glad you're home, man.

- All right, see you. - See you soon.

- See you, kids. - Bye!

- Hey, kids. Who wants ice cream? - Me!

Hello, Dad.

- When did you get in? - Just now. Mo picked me up.

- Got a lot of bags. Staying long? - I don't know.

There's golf on TV. Would you like to watch some golf?

Sure.

Why don't you put your bags upstairs and come down and watch some golf?

Yeah. Yeah.

Hey!

Oh, man!

- You just getting up? - Oh, yeah, man.

- Wild night. I got wrecked. - Yeah?

- You gonna be home long? - I don't know. We'll see.

- You see Dad? - Yeah. We're gonna watch some golf.

- You missed a hell of a storm. - Yeah.

Hey, when did the Ryans move out?

Ryans? I don't know. Last year.

Who moved in?

I don't know.

- They got a kid? - Do they? I don't know.

Yeah, I think so. They got a kid.

Yeah, I'm gonna take a dump, man.

- Hey! Willie C! What's up? - Paulie.

- You remember Elle MacPherson? - How you doin'?

Jan's banging some meat cutter.

- It started a month ago. - I heard you got the ultimatum.

Fuck that. What right does she have to do that?

- You've been going out seven years. - So what's the big deal?

- How old is Jan? - Don't start with me...

- She's 27. - 27. Maybe she wants to have kids.

So what? I wanna have kids, too, but what's the rush?

Kathy Lee Gifford just had a kid and she's 45.

- So who's this guy? - Victor the meat cutter.

You ready to puke? This guy's 40, divorced and has three kids.

So there's no way she's getting sperm from him.

Exactly. I knew you'd understand.

You wanna know what really creases me? Jan's a vegetarian.

- Right. - You see the hypocrisy?

Jan's a vegetarian. He's a meat cutter.

Oh, wow!

How can she live with a man who stinks of brisket?

Show time is 12:30 here on Sports Central.

- You're saying six...? - Six speakers.

- Hey, look who's here. - Hey! What's up?

- Hey! - It's Sharon. She's sleeping.

Listen, I'll see you in a minute.

All right.

- Hey. - Yeah?

- It's good to see you. - Good to see you.

Jesus.

You still seeing that chick? The lawyer?

- Tracy, yeah. - Tracy? What's goin' on?

- She's great. - And?

- What? - What's the deal?

- We're going through this stage... - They're all sisters. Trust me.

It's one big conspiracy. Leave it alone.

- You been playing piano? - Yeah. Nothing steady.

- Good money? - How they doing?

All he ever thinks about is Darian Smalls.

- Come on! Still? - Nothing changes around here, Will.

Every time Sharon sees Birdy thinking about Darian,

it's another pound when she looks in the mirror.

Have you seen her?

She's like one of those kids Sally Struthers feeds paste to.

- We need models. - What?

They're beautiful, rich, you don't have to spend much time with them.

Fuckers that date models, they got it made.

My next girlfriend's gonna be a six-foot-tall model.

Definitely.

A big one.

- Models. - I like those chicks.

Don't shovel much, do you?

- What makes you say that? - Your technique, it's sloppy.

- You live in a city or warm climate. - City.

You grew up here?

Yeah. Yeah.

- Don't visit much? - Nope.

- Mom dead? - You a cop?

No.

Yeah, my mother's dead.

I knew it. Your dad's kind of a sad guy.

Your brother is kind of missing that thing that having a mom gives you.

It's a lonely house you got.

What's your name?

- Marty. - As in Martha?

As in Marty, named for a grandfather I never even knew - Martin.

So now I'm Marty. Just Marty. A girl named Marty.

It is the bane of my existence.

- How old are you? - 13, but I'm an old soul.

So why did you come back?

Well...

My high school reunion.

- Heavy. - Yeah.

- So what's your name? - Willie.

Willie, I like your 'burns.

Thanks.

- You're kinda cool. - How do you mean?

I don't know. It's just a call. You don't think you are?

I...

I, um...

No, I... I think I am.

You are... I think.

- Yeah? - Maybe not.

I'm gonna go.

Yeah, I'll see you around...

Marty.

Are you Victor? Excuse me, is your name Victor?

See who's here?

- Shit. - Are you Victor?

I'm looking for Victor the meat cutter.

I hit a cow and he could slice me some steaks.

- It's a waste to let it rot. - You're not funny.

I'm serious, Jan.

I don't appreciate you burying my driveway like some obsessed lunatic.

- OK. That's fair. - What do you want?

- I wanna give you this. - What is that?

- It's a rump roast. Come on. - Paul...

Come on. At least open it.

- I really don't think I should. - Do you believe this?

See what a man has to go through for love?

It's beautiful, Paul. It's lovely.

- It's brown. - Champagne. It's the newest thing.

It's not brown.

- Champagne? It's beautiful. - Thank you.

- So what are you doing? - I can't take it.

- Why not? - I can't.

- Marry me, Jan. - No.

- "No"? Just like that, "no"? - No.

- Jesus Christ, Jan! - You're so selfish.

Selfish? Let me explain something.

What's in this box constitutes 30 driveways. Selfish? I think not.

We're taking some time. This screws everything up.

- Paul. What are you doing? - Chip, cut me some slack.