Jane the Virgin

Welcome back, friends.

You'll recall Jane was madly in love with Rafael.

But then Jane's husband Michael came back from the dead.

Actually, I go by Jason now, ma'am.

That's right.

Michael, I mean Jason, has amnesia.

And Jane wanted to help him get his memories back.

Unfortunately, it wasn't working.

And then this happened, so Jane made a big decision.

I'm getting a divorce.

But Jason had other ideas.

Old Bo over there got a hold of the divorce papers.

I know. Straight out of a telenovela, right?

And speaking of telenovelas, Rogelio and River Fields

finally put their differences aside

to star in the American remake of The Passions of Santos.

But then River dropped a bomb on Xo.

I know. Looks scary, right?

So let's find out what's going on.

Ah, friends, as I've made clear,

Jane Gloriana Villanueva was raised on a steady diet

of telenovelas...

Catholicism...

and the sun shining only on her.

And all of these moments imprinted

to make her who she is today.

You'll take Mateo to karate.

Don't forget his water bottle

or the shoes he took from Ethan.

I'll meet Jason at Abuela's and get the divorce papers.

That is... super bossy.

I'm just praying that Jason shows up

with papers that aren't dog-bitten.

Super faithful.

That makes two of us.

I love you.

And super romantic.

Hey. Ready for karate, bud?

Mwah. Mwah.

Well, most of the time.

Sorry, I-I don't know what that was.

Go. Get your divorce.

Which, for the record,

she was trying to do.

Hi there. It's a beautiful day

and I was hoping you might join me on a picnic.

W-What are you doing?

I'm coming a courtin'.

See, I got to thinking about this whole divorce thing,

and, uh... I'm not so sure about it anymore.

I want to take you on a date.

Make sure the spark...

...is really dead.

No. There is no spark.

So you're saying you didn't feel anything

at all when we danced?

What? No! You need to go.

Really? Yes. Really.

Y... M-M-Mateo is in his room

and he doesn't know you're alive so you need to leave now.

I am going to tell him when I see him later.

And then I want us to go on a date; we need it.

He actually kissed me on my head this morning.

- Ay. - I need your help.

Mom, you didn't have to come down.

We could've brought lunch up to you.

No, no, no. With this.

River gave it to me.

Rogelio's on his way home from work

and I have to tell him about it.

Tell him about what?

No!

No!

If somebody doesn't tell me what this thing is...

River is getting paid twice as much as Dad?

No!

How am I gonna tell him?

We're here for you, Mom.

If worse comes to worst, we'll all just sit

on him till he calms down.

Hello,

beautiful ladies of my life.

You're in a good mood.

It was another fantastic day

River and I are officially a dream team.

Hashtag...

Oh, wow.

I love it. We approach acting the same way.

We plank together for two minutes before each scene

to make sure our abs are tight.

Okay, let's eat. Mom.

Tell him.

I have cancer; can you do it?

This is the last time you use that excuse.

Dad, River is making twice what you're making on the show.

But River thought you'd take it better coming from me.

Remember, Dad, you're a great team.

She's a wonderful scene partner.

#Rivelio.

Calm down, Rogelio.

Things are going great on set.

Don't overreact.

Oh, I wouldn't dream of overreacting.

Acting is reacting, after all.

And since I'm a professional actor,

I will react in a perfectly professional way.

Believe me. You may not remember that you were the president,

but I do.

Even if you have no memory of why you wanted to save

this great country of ours, I remember.

What the hell are you doing?

Oh, I'm acting with my scene partner,

my costar, my teammate.

Well, could you stop it? It's weird and distracting.

Oh, okay. Is it twice as distracting as this?

Because if something on our set was twice as much

as something else on our set, I'm sure you'd tell me, right?

So, Xo told you.

That you're a backstabbing back stabber

who stabs people in the back? Yes, she did.

Calm down. This is beneath you.

Oh, it's beneath me, huh?

You know what else is beneath me?

Or rather, if I may be more accurate, beneath you?

My pitiful pittance of a paycheck.

Why don't we all just take five?

Oh, which means I only get two and a half, right?

You are really acting like a child!

Hey.

How did the open house go?

A lot of lookie-loos, but no offers yet.

Oh, maybe they were there to look at you.

So did you get the divorce papers?

No, but I did get a picnic basket

and roses and asked out on a date.

What? Jason says he wants to

"make sure the spark is really dead."

You know, I'm beginning to not like that guy.

I said no, obviously, and the next time I see him

I have a whole calm, cool, collected speech

I'm gonna give to him about boundaries.

What was he thinking? I don't know.

But what I did realize was

what I really want to do is go on a date with you.

Yeah? Yeah.

I'm liking the sound of that.

And I'm not liking the sound of that.

Mommy! Michael came back from the dead!

Just take a nice deep breath, okay?

I don't understand. How do dead people come back to life?

Good luck explaining this one.

You see, Mateo, Michael wasn't actually dead, he just...

Got taken by a sociopath.

...had an accident.

And he lost his memory.

- How? - She fried his brain.

He fell and he bumped his head. Mm-hmm.

Ooh, they're good.

And now he has amnesia and he can't remember who he is.

Like in Papa's telenovela? Crazily enough,

exactly like that.

Michael even forgot his name, so he's called Jason now.

Will you ever lose your memory and forget about me?

- Oh. - No.

This is a crazy rare kind of accident

that almost never happens.

Are you married to Michael again?

Geez, kid.

Talk about salt in the wound.

Legally, but not really.

What about me and Daddy?

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh, nothing is changing.

Shh, it's okay.

I'm gonna call Petra,

cancel our dinner for tonight.

Dinner for two.

Can't eat.

I'm already nauseous.

How was your day?

Oh, fine, fine.

Great.

Come on... tell me the truth.

How did it go with River?

I don't know how I'm going to work with that woman

for the next seven to ten years.

Look, I know this is hard, and while I agree

that you should be getting the same pay as River,

you have to admit it's pretty cool

that a woman is winning in the fight for gender parity.

Fight for what now?

It's the idea that men and women should be paid the same

for doing the same job.

It's a big issue in Hollywood right now.

A-And most people are pro?

Just checking.

A lot of celebrities are standing up for each other

and demanding equal pay for women.

William H. Macy stood up for Emmy Rossum.

Bradley Cooper supported Jennifer Lawrence.