The Cosby Show

Mom.

Yes?

Denise Is Going Away To College Tonight, Right?

Right.

Then We Need To Talk.

About What?

Vanessa Said She's Going To Move Into Denise's Room.

You'll Have Your Own Room.

I Don't Want It.

Why Not?

What If Somebody Comes In?

Like Who?

The Wolfman.

Oh, Rudy.

We Talked About The Wolfman.

He Exists Only In The Movies.

The People In The Movies Say That--

Then Wolfman Eats Them.

Oh, I See.

You Want Vanessa In Your Room

Just In Case The Wolfman Comes In.

He'd Eat Her First.

She's Much Bigger.

If You Think The Wolfman Is Coming Into Your Room

Come See Daddy And Me.

I May Not Have Time.

I'll Put A Plate Of Cookies Next To Your Bed.

If The Wolfman Comes In, He's Going To See Them.

While He's Eating Them You Can Get Away.

Good Idea!

He Likes Chocolate Chip.

Okay.

Thanks, Mom.

All Right.

Clair!

Yes?

How Was The Delivery?

Oh, Listen.

It Never Fails.

You Get A Woman Who Is 4'3"

Give Birth To A 12-Pound, 4-Ounce Baby.

So, How Is Bob?

His Brother Called And Said Bob Doesn't Need Bypass Surgery.

Wonderful.

The Doctor Unclogged That Artery With A Balloon.

Oh, Angioplasty.

He's Up And Around.

He'll Be Back To Work Soon.

Good For Him.

Bob's Brother Thinks It Had To Do With The Way Bob Eats.

Yeah, I Believe That.

You Know How He Liked Those Fried, Greasy Foods.

Of Course.

Oh, And The Fat.

The Man Practically Lived Off Of Cream Cheese

And Butter And Eggs.

You Know What Else He Had A Lot Of?

What's That?

Salt.

I Just Had A Physical

And Doctor Brooks Gave Me A Clean Bill Of Health.

Maybe, But You And Bob Eat The Same Foods

And You're The Same Age.

No, We Are Not The Same Age.

But Bob Is 50.

I'm Not 50.

Okay, So You're 49.

Dear, That's A Different Decade.

Cliff, That Is A Year.

One Year.

Look, I Have The Metabolism Of A Young Man

And I Can Eat Whatever I Want To.

Why?

Because My Body Can Absorb It.

You've Seen Me Eat And You Know For Yourself

That I Have Never Been Full

In My Life.

That's Why You Get Up From The Dining Room Table

Unbuckle Your Belt

Go Into The Living Room, And Fall Asleep On The Couch?

Because I Work Hard.

Because You Eat Hard.

And Then You Wake Up From Your Nap

With Your Mouth All Dried Out

From All The Salt You Put All Over Your Food

Saying--

"Clair, Clair, I Need Something To Drink.

"No, No, Clair.

"Not Water.

Something With Bubbles In It."

Why Are You Picking On Me?

Because You're 49 Years Old.

We've Already Established That.

Okay?

It's Time For You To Take Better Care Of Yourself.

You Have A Tendency To Eat Large Amounts Of Everything

Except Fruits And Vegetables

Which You Don't Eat Enough Of.

That's Where You're Wrong.

I Eat Raw Vegetables.

You've Seen Me Eat Them.

How Do You Eat Them?

I Put Them In My Mouth And Chew Them.

What Is The Matter With You?

You Take A Piece Of Celery

Wrap It In Bologna

And Dip It In Cream Cheese.

I Do That For The Taste.

You Are A Junk Food Junkie.

You Couldn't Stop Eating This Kind Of Food

For One Day If You Tried.

Do You Know Why?

Because You Are Weak And Sad.

I Will Have You Know That I Possess Something

That People Wish They Had.

And That Is The Huxtable Iron Will--

Which Was Given To Me By My Great-Grandfather--

Who Took A Piece Of Swampland

And Drained It With His Bare Hands

Built A 12-Room House With No Tools

Out Of Twigs, Leaves, And Rocks.

You Know Why?

Because Somebody Said He Couldn't Do It.

He Didn't Even Want The House.

So You Could Just Stop Eating This Kind Of Food

Just Like That?

Anytime I Wanted To

Because I Have An Iron Will.

I've Been Eating Like This Since I Was Four.

Yes, Darling.

But Now You Are Four-Ty Nine

And Your Little Arteries Don't Unclog The Way They Used To.

And Who Should Know

Better Than Me?

Would You Like To Unclog My Arteries?

Could You Not Eat That Sandwich?

Of Course I Could, If I Wanted To.

Don't Eat It.

You Think You're Psyching Me Out?

That's Really An Old Game.

I'll Tell You What I'm Going To Do.

I'm Not Going To Eat This Sandwich

Not Because You Said So

But Because I Say So.

I Will Not Eat It.

I Can Throw This Away.

No, No, No!

Don't Throw It Away.

Denise Loves This.

I'll Give It To Denise.

She's Going To College Tonight.

Cliff...

I Won't Eat It.

I Promise You As A Husband And A Gentleman.

My Lips Won't Touch This Sandwich.

You're Sure?

Okay.

Because The Lips That Touch This Sandwich

Will Never Touch Mine.

At Every College

They Bring The Freshmen Into This Big Room

Where They Tell You--

"Look To Your Left And Your Right.

Those People Won't Be Here When You Graduate."

Won't Some Of Them

Look At Me?

Yes.

Why Even Show Up?

If You Work Really Hard At Hillman, You'll Do Fine.

We Grew Fungus Like This In My Biology Class.

Hi, Everybody.

Can I Have Some?

No, This Is For Denise.

Before You Go Away To College.

Thank You.

However, I'll Share.

All Right.

Dad?

I Really Shouldn't.

No, No, Thank You.

This Is One Of Your Special Sandwiches!

We Always Share These.

Maybe Just A Goodbye Bite.

Just A Goodbye Bite.

To You...

And To Say Goodbye.

I Don't Believe You!

What?

You Are So Pitiful.

I Didn't...

You Couldn't Even Last Five Minutes.

What's Going On?

Your Father Promised

He'd Give Up Certain Foods For One Day.

Yeah, But...

Our Friend, Bob Ramsey--

Who Is The Same Age As Your Dad...

No, No, We're Not The Same Age.

He's A Year Older Than Your Father--

Has Developed A Heart Problem.