Doctor Who

We are under attack.

There are creatures.

I don't even think they're human.

We can't stop them. The clock is broken.

He's coming.

Did you hear what I said?

Listen to me.

There is a man coming to Versailles.

He has watched over me my whole life and he will not desert me tonight.

What are you talking about? What man?

The only man, save you, I have ever loved.

No, don't look like that, there's no time. You have your duties.

I am your mistress, go to your Queen.

Are you there? Can you hear me?

I need you now, you promised.

The clock on the mantel is broken!

It is time!

Doctor! Doctor!

It's a space ship. Brilliant!

I got a space ship on my first go!

Looks kind of abandoned.

Anyone on board? Nah, nothing here.

Well, nothing dangerous.

Well, not that dangerous.

You know what? I'll just have a quick scan. . .

in case there's anything dangerous.

So, what's the date? How far have we gone?

About 3, 000 years into your future, give or take.

The 51st Century.

The Dagmar Cluster. You're a long way from home, Mickey!

Two and a half galaxies!

Mickey Smith, meet the universe.

. .See anything you like?

It's so. . .realistic! Dear me, had some cowboys in here.

Been a ton of repair work going on.

Now, that's odd, look at that!

All the warp engines are going.

Full capacity! There's enough power running through this ship to punch a hole in the universe.

And we're not moving.

So where's all that power going? Where'd all the crew go?

Good question. No life readings on board.

Well, we're in deep space, they didn't just nip out for a quick fag.

No, I've checked all the smoking pods.

You smell that?

Yeah. Someone's cooking. Sunday roast, definitely.

Now, there's something you don't see in your average space ship.

18th Century. French.

Nice mantel.

Not a hologram.

Not even a reproduction. This actually is an 18th Century French fireplace. Double sided.

There's another room through there.

It can't be, that's the outer hull of the ship. Look! Hello.

Hello. What's your name? Reinette.

Reinette? That's a lovely name.

Can you tell me where you are, at the moment, Reinette?

In my bedroom. Where's your bedroom? Where do you live, Reinette?

Paris, of course. Paris! Right.

Monsieur, what are you doing in my fireplace?

Oh, just a routine. . .fire check.

Can you tell me what year it is? Of course I can! 1727.

Right, lovely, one of my favourites.

August is rubbish though stay indoors.

OK, that's all for now, thanks for your help.

Hope you enjoy the rest of the fire. Night night!

Good night, Monsieur.

You said this was the 51st Century.

I also said this ship was generating enough power to punch a hole in the universe. We just found the hole.

Must be a spatio temporal hyperlink.

What's that? No idea, just made it up.

Didn't want to say "magic door".

And on the other side of the. . . "magic door", it's France in 1727?

Well, she was speaking French.

Right period French too. She was speaking English, I heard her.

That's the Tardis, translates for you. Even French?

Yep!

Gotcha! Doctor!

It's OK! Don't scream, it's me. It's the fireplace man, look!

We were talking. Just a moment ago. I was in your fireplace.

Monsieur, that was weeks ago. That was months. Really?

Must be a loose connection.

Need to get a man in. Who are you and what are you doing here?

OK. That's scary.

You're scared of a broken clock?

Just a bit scared, yeah, just a little tiny bit.

Cos you see, if this clock's broken,

and it's the only clock in the room. . .then what's that?

Cos you see, that's not a clock.

You can tell by the resonance.

Too big.

Six feet, I'd say. . .size of a man.

What is it? Now. Let's think.

If you were a thing that ticked and you were hiding in someone's bedroom, first thing you'd do

break the clock. No one notices the sound of one clock ticking, but two?

You might start to wonder if you're really alone.

Stay on the bed. Right in the middle.

Don't put your hands or feet over the edge!

Reinette, don't look round.

You stay exactly where you are.

Hold still, let me look.

You've been scanning her brain!

What, you've crossed two galaxies and thousands of years just to scan a child's brain?

What could there be in a little girl's mind worth blowing a hole in the universe?

I don't understand.

It wants me?

You want me?

Not yet. You are incomplete.

Incomplete?

What's that mean, incomplete?

You can answer her, you can answer me. What do you mean, incomplete?

Monsieur, be careful!

It's just a nightmare, Reinette, don't worry about it. Everyone has nightmares.

Even monsters from under the bed have nightmares. Don't you, monster?

What do monsters have nightmares about? Me! Ha!

Doctor!

Excellent! Ice gun!

Fire extinguisher. Where'd that thing come from? Here.

So why's it dressed like that?

Field trip to France. Some kind of basic camouflage protocol.

Nice needle work. Shame about the face!

Oh, you are beautiful!

No, really, you are! You're gorgeous!

Look at that! Space age clockwork!

I Love it! I've got chills!

Listen, seriously, I mean this from the heart,

and by the way, count those, it would be a crime, it would be an act of vandalism, to disassemble you.

But that won't stop me!

Short range teleport. Can't have gone far. Could still be on board. What is it? Don't go looking for it.

Where you going? Back in a sec.

He said not to look for it.

Yeah, he did.

Now you're getting it!

Reinette?

Just checking you're OK.

Hmm hmm.

Oh! Hello!

I was just looking for Reinette.

This is still her room, isn't it?

I've been away, not sure how long.

Reinette? We are ready to go!

Go to the carriage, mother, I will join you there.

It is customary, I think, to have an imaginary friend only during one's childhood.

You are to be congratulated on your persistence.

Reinette. Well!

Goodness! How you've grown.

And you do not appear to have aged a single day.

That is tremendously impolite of you.

Right, yeah, sorry.

Um, um, um. . .

Listen, lovely to catch up, but better be off, eh?

Don't want your mother finding you up here with a strange man, do we?

Strange? How could you be a stranger to me?

I've known you since I was seven years old.

Yeah, I suppose you have.

I came the quick route.

Well, you seem to be flesh and blood at any rate. But this is absurd. Reason tells me you cannot be real.

Oh, you never want to listen to reason.

Mademoiselle?

Your mother grows impatient.

A moment!

So many questions.

So little time.

Mademoiselle! Poisson!

Poisson!

Reinette Poisson! No!

No, no, no!

No way! Reinette Poisson! Later Madame d'Etoiles? !

Later still mistress of Louis XV! Uncrowned Queen of France!

Actress, artist, musician, dancer, courtesan, fantastic gardener.

Who the hell are you?

I'm The Doctor! And I just snogged Madame de Pompadour!

Rose?

Mickey? Every time! Every time!

It's rule one. . .don't wander off!

I tell them, I do! Rule one! There could be anything on this ship!

Are you looking at me?

Ah! Look at this!

That's an eye in there.

That's a real eye.

What is that?

What's that in the middle there? It's like it's wired in.

It's a heart.

Mickey, it's a human heart.

Rose?

Will you stop following me?

I'm not your mother!

So this is where you came from, eh, horsey?

Oh, Katherine, you are too wicked.

Speaking of wicked, I hear Madame de Chateauroux is ill and close to death.

Yes, I am devastated.

Oh, indeed. I, myself, am frequently inconsolable.

The King will, therefore, be requiring a new mistress. You love the King, of course.

He is the King and I love him with all my heart.

And I look forward to meeting him.

Is something wrong, my dear?

Not wrong, no.

Every woman in Paris knows your ambitions.

Every woman in Paris shares them.

You know, of course, that the King is to attend the Yew Tree ball. . .

Maybe it wasn't a real heart.

Of course it was a real heart.