The Clock

Hurry!

We need to get it to hollow ground!

- The church is five miles away. Is there time?

We have no choice!

He's coming!

Get it to the church, now.

The Lord is my savior.

He protects me!

The Lord is my savior! He protects me!

He protects me!

Go! Hurry!

Though I walk...

Though I walk through the valley of the sorrow of death...

I fear no evil!

Father Maynard!

Father Jarvis!

Please!

I need you to get this inside, quickly!

- I don't understand! - I'll explain later!

I need it inside, now!

Father Baines, are you okay?

What's wrong?

What is it?

Call an ambulance!

- Maybe she just needs a little time to

figure herself out, right?

I mean, am I doing something wrong?

I feel like such an outsider in her life, sometimes.

Well, she is a teenager. I mean...

Teenagers hate their parents, right?

I mean, they're supposed to.

I mean, you remember all those movies

you used to watch as a kid?

I mean, they all portrayed parents as being silly and goofy,

and we love those movies, but guess what?

Well, now we're those uncool parents, so...

I know.

I just can't help but feel like I'm failing her.

And I trust her.

I just don't want to be there to guide her.

- And there's a fine line between guidance and controlling,

and if we cross that line, we're gonna push her away.

You know?

All I'm saying is that I just wanna keep

an open dialogue with her.

Okay, Mike? I don't wanna lose her.

I've lost enough.

She's not your mom.

We don't wanna project that on her, okay?

We wanna give her the freedom to make good decisions, okay?

You're right.

I'm sorry.

She's just getting so big, so quick.

Yeah, I know. It's scary.

I hate it.

Let's find this lamp you're looking for

and get home before the game starts, huh?

Mike.

Isn't it beautiful?

It's dusty.

Nothing a quick cleaning can't fix.

You hardly ever see these anymore.

Mm, I could see why.

I think it's beautiful.

It reminds me so much of the one my mother had,

when I was a kid.

Is that...

Is that blood on the face?

- Someone probably just cut themselves putting it together.

Nothing that can't be cleaned.

Looks to be about a hundred years old.

Older than that.

- I'm sorry. We did not hear you come up.

I saw you were admiring the clock.

Yes. It's really beautiful.

It's somethin', yeah.

- Father Baines brought it to the church, several years ago,

and then tragically passed away that same night.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

- We put it down here because there's just no room

left in the church.

How much do you want for it?

Oh...

Not much interest in grandfather clocks these days.

Plus, it, it doesn't chime.

But it just chimed a moment ago.

You say this clock struck?

Yeah. I mean, not at the right time.

But yeah, we heard it.

Very interesting.

So, how much?

- Oh, I'm sure we could let it go for, say, $100?

Yeah, we're really not...

We'll take it.

Gonna leave here without it.

How much does it weigh, Father?

Mike!

Go back up the truck.

I'll put a bow on it for you, okay?

- Guess we're proud new owners of a grandfather clock.

Isabel!

You called me?

What do you think?

What is it?

And now I'm officially old.

This is a grandfather clock.

It's over a hundred years old. They used to be all the rage.

It chimes once for each hour.

So, no matter where you are in the house,

you always know what time it is.

Well, we'll have to get that part fixed,

but what do you think?

It's pretty cool?

I guess?

Your grandmother used to have one,

almost exactly like this.

Didn't she go crazy?

She wasn't well,

when she passed in the hospital when you were very young,

but before she went down that path,

she was very warm.

And caring.

Are you okay?

I didn't mean to-

It's okay.

One day we'll sit down and I'll tell you all about her.

Why don't you go get cleaned up

so you can help me with dinner?

Okay.

- So let me set this scene for you, okay? All right?

So, you know me. I'm behind the camera, right?

You know, I'm doing a little director thing.

I'm zooming in on this tight ass.

You know what I'm saying, man?

Yeah, she's climbing outta the pool. It's...

God damn.

You know, she's wearing this thong. This...

This red thong, man.

You know.

And the water's just, just beating down this perfect ass.

Like...

They call that the money shot.

- Hell yeah, they do. - That is hilarious.

You know, I'm doing my slow,

comfortable zoom, as I call it.

You know, I'm really getting in, and all of a sudden,

I'm feelin' somethin', you know?

It's a pain in my leg. I'm starting to get off balance.

The last thing I want is for this camera

to touch the ground, you know?

It's an expensive-ass camera.

So...

What do I do?

Uh...

I don't know. - Hm?

I...

Take one for the team!

- Hell yeah! He took it for the team!

- I'm just using my body, I shield the camera.

I hold it for as long as possible to get this shot, right?

I'm holding this down. - Yeah.

The longest second.

So, not only is the camera operational, saved that bitch-

Yeah.

Not only do I get the perfect ass shot,

but we have had more views in the past 48 hours

than anything we've ever shot to date.

That's some fuckin' teamwork, right there.

You know what I mean? Yeah?

Hell yeah! Woo!

- So, how many subscribers do you have now?

Well, um...

God, uh...

You know, I think the report on our little pervatorium...

Mm-hm?

We got about- - Pervatorium!

Pervatorium!

It's got about 300,000 subscribers and counting.

Nice.

"Pervatorium"?

- Yeah, you gotta "Pervatorium". You gotta say it like that.

Stop! Don't mind him.

He's just trying to create his own little dictionary.

Some of the made-up shit that comes outta his mouth!

- Come on, you wanna go to the Pervatorium?

Pervatorium! Come down to the Pervatorium!

Say it with me now! Perv...

Come on, Mike! Pervatorium.

Mm-hm.

Yeah.

Come on. - Hell yeah.

Well, happy fuckin' Halloween.

I can't remember the last time I've seen one of these.

It's so creepy.

Is that blood on the face?

Oh, no way.

Yeah, I think so.

We tried to clean it off, but it's on there pretty good.

Have you ever experienced anything weird

in this house before?