Four Weddings and a Funeral

Previously on "Four Weddings and a Funeral"...

Your father and I have been happy

to help you out the last couple of years,

but after that extravagant wedding,

we have reached our limit.

I'm staying, Mom.

I admire your tenacity, because we're cutting you off.

Oh, God.

Your father told me that you're interested in an arranged marriage.

- Fatima. - Kash.

We can shake hands.

Great.

Giles looks in good spirits, at least.

Is he all packed and ready for boarding school?

Actually, Giles isn't going back to Cragscross on Monday.

What Giles really needs...

What Giles needs is to be with his mother.

My name's Zara.

I'm a Virgo by birth, Gemini by choice,

and I'm looking for love.

And that's what I wish for all of you...

That you find someone

who makes you a better version of you

than you would ever be on your own...

who you'd be utterly lost without.

I'm in love with you, Maya.

Hey.

Morning, Duffy.

Oh, uh...

I was just grabbing my glasses.

- Oh. - Could you, actually?

Thanks.

Holy shit, Maya?

I'm late.

Sorry.

So... what's the play here?

Do we talk about this?

Yeah, no, we definitely should, right?

It's just... if I'm not at Peath when they boys wake up,

they go full-on Lord of the Flies.

One time they flushed an entire kid down the toilet.

Maybe we can talk about this tonight

over, um, dinner?

- Uh, sure. - Yeah?

Mm-hmm.

Great.

I'll see you tonight.

- Great. - Okay.

Bye.

- - Oh, nice to see you, Duffy. - - Yeah.

Are you sure you can't stay for breakfast?

I have cinnamon rolls. Oh, yeah, sorry.

Got to make a train. Oh, well, well...

I hope enjoyed your stay here at Chez Amour!

Maya, Maya!

I can't believe I am sitting on the bed

where you and Duffy had sex.

Oh, my God, stop being a loser.

No, this is amazing.

You are finally with someone nice.

It's not just someone. It's Duffy.

So?

I've known him since we were 18.

His mom did my bunion surgery.

But he's in love with you.

He's always been in love with you.

Haven't you at least thought about it?

Sure, I've always thought he was cute.

And then he'd show up to graduation in a Jedi outfit,

and I'd be like, "Uh, never mind."

Okay, is that worse than Ted?

Or that jerk who cheated on you with that girl

who looked exactly like his sister?

Derek. He's actually in jail.

Why, because he and his sister...

- Insider trading. - Ugh, boring.

You don't even date interesting jerks.

Look, you have known Duffy forever,

so you know what a good guy he is.

Isn't it worth just a little shot?

Let me ask you one question... The sex was... good.

"Good." That's it? "Good"?

- Okay, fine, it was great. - I knew it. I knew it.

Oh, my God, yes, yes!

Stop it!

Oh, my God, I don't know where that pillow's been.

Stop!

Mate, Zara's a TV star.

Reality TV?

Relax, this will be over soon.

Zara won't last a week without her phone.

I don't know. She's already everyone's favorite.

Basheer thinks she'll end up with Duncan,

the guy who teaches blind children

because the seeing ones find him too attractive.

Sorry, mate. I wasn't thinking.

It's all right.

I mean, people don't really find love on this show, right?

Well, the people who won Love Chalet last year

are already on baby number two, so... oh, my God, sorry.

Fatima's obsessed with this stuff.

She was telling me about it all last night.

Oh, that's the third time

I heard you mention Fatima today.

Do I hear mosque bells?

It's hard to tell with these chaperoned dates.

We're not even allowed to hold hands.

I don't know what to tell you, man.

Zara and I had sex on our first date

before the main course arrived.

God, I miss her.

Can you believe Giles and I took the Tube here?

It was quite a thrill.

Someone drew a phallus on an advertisement.

Mummy, I have eight kills! All headshots!

Oh, that's wonderful, darling.

He never told me things like that before.

So...

are you two doing okay?

All things considered.

Giles is relieved not to be going back to Cragscross.

- Mm. - He starts Peath in two weeks.

Peath? That's perfect. Duffy can keep an eye on him.

Yes, I agree. It's not ideal.

But I'm more concerned about my role.

How am I gonna help Giles with his homework?

And what do I pack him for lunch?

Steak?

Raisins? I'm overwhelmed.

Oh, girl, my mom used to pack me cottage cheese

and a picture of Miss America for inspiration.

You're gonna be fine.

Oh, I just want Giles to be okay.

He still insists on sleeping in my bed every night.

He's very fragile right now.

Mummy, I've killed them all!

I've won!

Yeah! Sweet, isn't it?

Yeah!

Yeah!

- Thank you. - Thanks.

- Duffy... - Hey, last night was...

Whew. Yeah, um... no, please.

You go, you go. No, please, after you.

Look, I obviously like you,

and I obviously have always liked you

and not just because you look like you.

I think you're really smart,

and I think you fight for things that matter.

Do you remember when you convinced us to occupy Wall Street

and I almost died of trench foot?

Yeah, I remember that.

I don't have any regrets about last night

except that I wish I would've told you how I felt sooner.

I guess I was just afraid

that you wouldn't feel the same way.

And seeing you now, I realize that you don't,

and I really wish I would've let you speak first.

Oh, my God.

Duffy, you're one of my best friends...

Hey, no, I get it. It was a one-time thing.

We shall never speak of it again.

Could we get the check, please?

Duffy, will you let me finish?

You're one of my best friends...

Yeah.

Which is why...

I feel like this could be really good.

I-I want to give it a try.

- Wait, are you serious? -

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Just to be clear, you're talking boyfriend and girlfriend, right?

Yes.

Okay, yeah.

No, I would... I would really love that as well.

It's week two of Love Chalet,

and things are really heating up.

Come on!

I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming.

Oh. Yes, thank you.

Here, let me feed you some fondue.

Mmm.

That's delicious.

I can't eat too much cheese. It inflames my colon.

I love learning more about you.

Did you know I'm an aspiring bartender?

- No. - Mm-hmm.

- That's so cool. - I know, right?

Duncan, you smell amazing.

Thanks, I'm using a new scent.

- Really? - Yeah.

I knew you'd been using my cologne!

I write my name on the bottle for a reason, dimwit.

What, you can't read or something?

Hey, you know I can read.

I just told you I started Percy Jackson.

You and Percy both got a lot in common,

'cause you're both thieves.