Speechless

Ray, it's been so nice

being long-distance boyfriend and girlfriend this summer.

I know. The letters you wrote me,

Taylor, were like my oxygen.

But I'm breaking up with you,

because I realized

you're Ray DiMeo and you're, um...

a loser.

The only good thing about you is your sister.

Give her all the Canadian candy that your cousin sent you.

Dylan! Stop "Inception" -ing me!

Go back to bed.

But I'm not tired. What time is it, even?

- It's noon. - What?

Mom? Dad?

- Everybody, up! Everybody, up! - Get up! Get up!

The fumigators!

We forgot the fumigators are coming!

No gas! No gas!

- Come on! - Hurry up!

Ray, get up. The floor's filthy.

Leave the letters!

Without the letters, what's the point?

Fastest we've ever gotten out of the house.

Oi! You could've killed us! We are gonna sue you...

Oh. Hold on.

Oh, it's my son from camp.

Go on. On your way. Cheers.

JJ's calling! Come on.

- Hello, love. - Hi, JJ.

- Heeeeey. - Hey, buddy!

Hey, everyone.

Who was that?

A friend. A-L... "Alexa."

Well, A-L... Alexa likes you.

Shh.

Oh, no. Did she hear that?

No. She's deaf.

Right. Well, in that case...

She likes you!

So, what have you been doing?

S-W... "Swimming," K... "kayaking.

I water skied.

How do you do all that stuff?

I find a way. Disability is no excuse here.

Darling, that is music to Mommy's ears,

'cause that's what we've always taught you.

Disability is no excuse. Amen!

Do you people ever intend to cut your lawn?

- I've got a child with special needs! - Sorry, lady. We do not have the time!

- Do you have any idea what we deal with? - We have a lot going on!

I know that look. He's saying everyone but me is a hypocrite.

- All right, guys. - JJ's right.

- Bring the tarp down. Come on. - We always use him as an excuse.

I mean, he's been gone for weeks

and everything here is exactly the same.

- Do we live wrong? - Yes!

Wait, is this a trap? I don't care. Keep going.

Right. No more using his disability as an excuse...

Except for parking tickets. No, Jimmy! No exceptions.

So when something goes wrong, who will we blame?

Tough call. All the good races are taken.

Maybe tall people?

We won't blame anyone.

If JJ can water ski, we can do a bloody dish.

So, you want us to, like, clean up?

But, I mean, where would we even start?

Wait. If we're actually taking a hard look at ourselves,

I think there's someone else who'd want to weigh in.

So, the kid says you want a lesson on all the madness

you've all gotten so used to you don't even see any... more.

Sorry, getting my land legs back.

What is this? JJ said you were living on a boat?

- Uh-huh. - Well, now what are you doing?

Well, I came ashore for this,

but I won't have my groove interrupted.

I am armed with the soundtrack of my nautical summer...

A tasty mix of Seventies Yacht Rock.

- "Yacht Rock"? - Oh, boy.

This calls for the strong stuff.

"Brandy-parentheses- You're a Fine Girl" it is.

Never heard of it.

Sure you have.

Let me give you a reminder...

Now most families have one junk drawer.

But you guys...

You know, they just used this song

- in "Guardians of the Galaxy." - What?

Yeah, never heard it.

You do raise some good points, though, Kenneth,

and we do have a lot of work to do.

So, if you would like to pitch in, we would love...

- Oh. - To give you the honor

of deciding which task to...

No? Just us then?

Let's get to it!

The DiMeos are getting their act together!

If I had known songs were such an effective teaching tool,

I would have broken out this little number years ago.

Two, three, four...

- Just e-mail us, Ray. - Okay.

It's so tidy.

Oh, Dylan,

put this vase back in the living room.

We eat cereal out of bowls now.

Guys, come quick. It's a miracle!

We have curb appeal!

Dad, did you do this?

I did.

Turns out mowing a lawn

is just running with a lawnmower in your hands.

We did all this in one day.

This whole "not using JJ as an excuse" thing

is going gangbusters.

He's gone for the summer.

Let's show him how much we can do.

I never have any money. I'd love to make a little.

So you'll get a job.

Or a lucrative running endorsement.

Or a job.

I've been 20 minutes late for 15 years now.

Might be fun to be one of those "on time" people.

What about me? I don't even know where to start.

Hey, DiMeos! Way to try!

Ooh, tiny neighbor woman.

You look like today's lady on the go. So together.

How do you keep the fumigators at bay, as it were?

I'm sorry. I have an appointment.

Oh, may I?

Oh, you're meeting a decorator.

Groceries at 5:00. Trainer.

Would you add me to this calendar?

B-But this is my life.

Yes. May I have it?

Jimmy: Okay, let's see what it's like to be on time.

Whoa. Open spots.

Huh, there's never any spots.

Huh, coffee? There's never coffee.

Hey, what's that?

Donuts for the morning meeting.

Okay, now you're just messing with me. W...

Hi. I'll mow your lawn twice as fast

as whoever's doing it now.

How much?

600 bucks?

My guy charges $17.00.

But I like it fast.

$10.00 and a medal?

Deal!

I quite like our stupid life.

Is it stupid?

Oh, it's stupid. Yeah.

Not that anybody cares, but the fumigator's rescheduled.

But it's already in the phone, love.

Oh, so you're still using that calendar.

But, Dad, this "on time" thing...

He left for work.

Guess the don't need my input at all.

Now, Dylan...

No one left to criticize.

You're the dog that caught the car, Ray.

Hey, it's not going to last!

Ray: "Dearest Taylor, it's been an interesting summer.

May family now has their acts together.

I have no purpose, and it's slowly driving me crazy.

As part of my hair turned gray? Sure.

And sleep is not many.

Oh, well. Love, Taylor."

When the calendar said "walking,"

I did think it meant power-walking with your friends.

You know, how you always wear the suits

and walk through the neighborhood in formation,

judging other people's houses?

W-We've never done that.

Really? Where did I see that then?

Sitcoms about suburbia?

You really don't do that?

Should we do that?

I don't know what's changed about you, Jimmy,

but I like it.

I'm giving you a promotion.

Here is your red jacket, and... here is your chair.

Oh, I...

On Time Jimmy rules!

W... Next.

- Hey! - Hello, darling!

- JJ! - There's my little angel!

- Aw, there he is! Oh! - My darling!