Everybody Loves Jeanne (Tout le monde aime Jeanne)

EVERYBODY LOVES JEANNE

You’re an extraordinary woman, Jeanne.

You’re amazing.

You do amazing things.

It’s a simple process.

Marine currents allow this basket-like structure to harvest microplastics.

The structure itself is made with recycled plastics and waste.

We placed a camera on the structure,

providing a live feed to track its progress.

We expect to harvest 30 to 50 tons in our first month.

We’re about to launch.

You’re a heroine!

You do useful work! What did the journalist say again?

What if I call you Woman of the Year?

Woman of the Year? Woman of the Century!

PLASTIC IS NOT FANTASTIC

Are we sure about that outfit?

Might want to change.

It’s a bit much, sunglasses and all...

Dressed to impress? Your jacket hides a toothpaste stain.

And those shoes! So loud!

You’re all we hear! Clack, clack, clack!

See that bus?

You could jump in front of it.

Jump, jump!

Go on Jeanne, jump!

Jump...

Why so tempted? Because you’re a failure?

Shut up.

Gonna cry now?

Not so clever now, are we?

You’re paying for your arrogance, Jeanne.

What if I call you Woman of the Year?

I’m amazing.

- That’s a bit much. - Liar!

What happened to the Woman of the Year?

I know you want to smoke. That’s bad. Causes cancer.

Cancer of the throat! Dring!

Cancer of the lungs! Dring!

Cancer of the throat. Cancer, emphysema...

If you die now, what’ll your grave say?

A true fiasco.

Laurent, can you tell us what happened in Le Croisic today?

It’s complicated.

Nausicaa’s structures are held together with titanium wires.

During the inauguration, the wires broke.

Here we see Nausicaa’s founder, Jeanne Mayer,

diving into the water to save her baby.

A beautiful but pointless dive.

The structure weighs many tons.

Right. And the water’s weight pushes it down.

We’re seeing footage from the camera on the structure as it sinks in real time.

Very dramatic footage.

Sure, just keep filming!

NAUSICAA SINKS LIKE A STONE

SONIA HAMI – LAWYER AT THE PARIS BAR

I’ll be straight with you.

You’re verging on personal bankruptcy.

You need to liquidate. That’s the only way. Sell everything off.

The creditors will be all over you with your plastic machines.

Anti-plastic machines.

The project’s still viable. New investors are interested.

I’m not saying it’s all over.

I’m simply saying you had income, and now

your income has dried up.

The investors all pulled out.

- You missed a teeny-tiny clause. - I read it.

You read it? OK. It says you’re the sole guarantor.

Meaning all those nice people who invested in your project won’t be nice anymore.

And the bank won’t help.

As I always say, banks loan umbrellas in the sun.

You’re heavily in debt.

I’ve seen clients go from a sprawling mansion

to a shoebox.

That won’t happen to me.

Can you pay your rent right now?

Right now is tough, but my landlord understands.

OK. And your parents?

Our

father died years ago and our mom, last year.

Ah, I’m sorry.

Well, then... Did she leave you anything?

Yes. An apartment in Lisbon.

- Not bad! Is it in both of your names? - Yes.

She put it in our names before she died.

Great news. Excellent news!

- A great lead. - Yeah, it’s awesome.

Next she closed her bank accounts, cleaned out her fridge,

took out her garbage, tried to call us in vain

then jumped off a bridge.

I see. That’s awful.

I’m sorry.

Maupassant called suicide “the courage of the vanquished.”

Listen, sell the apartment.

I don’t know what it’s worth, but even if you split it you’ll make something.

You don’t really have a choice.

We’re not selling that apartment.

Why not?

We could.

- No. - Yes.

Jeanne, obviously we should!

I’ll let you kids figure it out.

Let me know what I owe you.

Honey, I’m too expensive for you.

I’ll do you a solid since I know your brother.

- Thanks, Sonia. - My pleasure.

- Call me anytime, OK? - Thanks.

- Goodbye. - And good luck.

She’s dramatizing. Typical lawyer.

I’m not on the verge of personal bankruptcy.

- Want me to loan you money? - No way!

- You can move in with me. - No need for that.

So, what will you do?

I’m not sure. Danish investors are interested.

- I plan to-- - You’ll end up in jail.

Being in debt is serious!

I won’t go to prison. I did nothing wrong.

You did.

OMG, he’s right!

You’ll end up in jail!

They’ll make you scrub toilets with your hair, Goldilocks!

You have no choice.

Go to Lisbon, clear out the apartment and sell it.

I could take a few days off.

I can go alone.

C’mon, Zuzu.

Here.

- I bet you’ll call Vitor. - No.

Sure you will.

I feel like a mafia don.

“A little somethin’ for you, doll. Take it.

- “It’s all yours.” - I’ll pay you back, Simon.

No.

I wanna be in the papers, too.

“Thanks to her broke brother, Jeanne Mayer resurfaces and saves the oceans.”

Could you buy my plane tickets?

Sure. Here.

6745.

To be used sparingly, please.

I’m just a humble physiotherapist.

Shall we?

Thanks, Simon.

- Will you be alright? - Yeah.

Call me?

Bye.

- See you. - Bye.

HOTTEST SEPTEMBER ON RECORD

What’ll we do?

We’re all gonna die!

When did you last have sex?

Dream or real?

Does the subway count?

When a man brushed up against your right breast?

Remember?

When he realized, he yelled, “Oh no!” like he’d stepped in dog shit.

Ring a bell?

Then he called you a slut. It rang out in your head.

Slut.

SLUT

Slut!

Get off your high horse.

You’ll have to steal too.

You had income, but your income has dried up.

You’re broke.

You’re poor!

That guy looks weird.

With your luck, he’ll be sitting next to you.

That’s what you get for staring at people, Jeanne!

Oh, no!

He’ll want to talk to you.

You make me crazy, Jeanne!

May Day!

Beep, beep!

- May I? - No!

Sure.

Let’s observe this individual’s approach.

Sorry, I forget your name.

Maybe because I don’t know you.

And pow! Nice one, Jeannette.

Jeanne?

Jeanne Mayer?

Yes.

- Wild! - I know you?

You don’t remember?

French High School in Lisbon?

No clue.

How crazy is this?

Everybody was in love with you.

- Not at all. - Yes.

- No way. - Seriously.

When I got there, everyone said, “See that girl?

“That’s Jeanne. Everybody loves her.

“Everybody loves Jeanne.”

My only friend, Manuel Erkin...

- Remember him? - No.

Little Peruvian guy. No neck. Silky mustache.

He said it with tragic resignation.

“Anyway, everybody loves Jeanne.” You don’t remember?

With his accent: “Eberybody luffs Yanne.”

We should take a picture,