Lonely Hearts

Hey, we're all proud of you, Buster. Charlie.

Small town cops dropping a pair like this.

Wait a lifetime, never even sniff one this good.

Wanna make a move to the boroughs, you let me know.

It's a phone call.

Hey, maybe you wanna throw the switch.

I can fix that, too.

You are such an asshole.

You don't even know what you have here.

Whatever it is, consider it our gift to you.

You know, you don't have to go in there.

Yeah, I do.

If any two maggots ever deserved to boil in their own shit,

it was Ray Fernandez and Martha Beck.

They'd probably still be cozy

in a Lansing jail cell if it weren't for Buster.

Or, maybe it was Annie. Buster's wife.

Who one September night stuck a service thirty-eight in her ear.

No note. No nothin'.

Just blew her brains out all over the bathtub.

Cops don't talk about what they see.

They push it down with a stiff Bromo and a bourbon back,

Hide behind a newspaper, and hope nobody notices.

But after Buster found Annie in the bathroom, that all changed.

And he took it out on Fernandez and Beck with a vengeance.

If they wrote a book on confidence men,

Ray Fernandez would've been the pinup boy.

He wasn't the first rat-fuck barnacle to play the lonely hearts game.

But he might've been the smoothest. He knew the game, he knew his marks.

He loved the way it made him feel.

Hell, he was so slick, he even convinced himself he was Don-fucking-Juan.

Oh Bea...

I'm so sorry I'm late. A thousand apologies.

So sorry I'm late. The meetings with my lawyers ran over.

I'm so sorry I'm late.

Had a meeting with my lawyers. It went over.

I nearly missed the plane.

I was in such a hurry I left my wallet, and my passport.

I left my wallet and my passport.

I left my passport, and my wallet on the counter at the airport.

You're even more beautiful than your picture.

Stunning.

Today's a special day.

It's the oldest con in the book.

He pen paled 'em, war widows, old maids, spinsters, anyone alone.

Was like picking plums.

They advertised, for Christ sake, through correspondence clubs

and lonely hearts rags.

He was quite the bard.

Always slipping in a little fishing expedition to feel out their bank account.

If he smelled money, Valentino.

If he thought they were broke...

he'd bounce 'em like a bad check.

Buster was my partner.

We went all the way back to a squad car, for Christ sake.

He was the toughest badge I'd ever seen.

Turned more collars than a China man dry cleaner.

But after he lost Annie, he parked himself behind the desk,

pushing paper, taking phone calls, and a lot of other people's shit.

I didn't understand that.

Robinson, Homicide.

You don't know shit because Jackie Robinson is a...

I don't know shit? Veteran baseball...

Fuck Jackie Robinson.

Jesus Christ, let me tell you something so everybody can hear me.

You gave me a hundred to one.

Hundred to one I wouldn't drop

a nickel on the first team to put a nigger in baseball.

Okay? Even, even if he is a cousin of Robinson's here.

Okay?

It's okay.

Hello. Oh, Mrs. Reilly?

Oh, Reilly, your wife's on the phone.

Her negro lover just left,

wants to know if I can come down there and finish her off.

How you gonna finish her off,

you haven't seen your prick in six months, you fat fuck.

That's funny, your wife found it real good.

You think I'm scared of you, you big fuckin' sack of meat?

Get outta here.

Why don't ya keep your mouth shut and learn something?

Fuck you.

I'm telling you, he's gonna burn your house down one day.

He's a rat.

Listen, me and Eastman, we're going over to Jimmy's.

We're gonna uh, play some cards, suck on the beer tit, tell some lies.

How 'bout it?

Hey Robbie.

Hey Rene.

I can't, I gotta take the train tonight.

Train? What happened to your car?

What, you didn't hear?

The kid drove it into some garbage cans.

Siren going, lights, everything.

Which bone did you break?

The one between his ears.

Hey, I can drop you.

Yeah, Rene could give you a lift.

Nice.

Okay.

Enough.

What?

So we playing cards or what?

No, but I'll take that ride.

Meet ya at Jimmy's.

By the time Fernandez picked up

on Martha Beck's bullshit smear in some lonely hearts rag, she'd already...

been picked over by every Tom-Dick son of a bitch who ever sniffed a skirt,

including her own brother.

Who started raping her from the time she was ten.

She was good-looking, alright.

But damaged goods.

Martha.

Raymond.

Uh, uh, I'm sorry I'm late.

The meetings with my uh, lawyers ran over.

I was in such a hurry I...

I nearly missed my plane

and I left my wallet and passport at the counter.

What kind of lawyers?

Oh just, u-regular lawyers.

We're closing in on some uh, some import prospects.

I can't believe you're here. I can't believe we're here.

I mean after so many letters and for such a long time, it's...

It's incredible.

I mean, here we are face to face.

Oh, what?

Please say something.

I uh...

You're just so beautiful.

May I show you to a table?

How's room service?

It's off the menu, ma'am.

We'll have breakfast in bed.

What are you doing?

I have an appointment. I won't be an hour.

I love the way you write.

Such a poet.

Raymond?

You don't disappoint.

A regular Charles Boyer.

Hey, what do you say we...

test our luck later, watch the greyhounds run?

Think you can wait for me?

Oh, I can wait.

The question is, can you?

Hey, you're a little kitty cat.

Toodle-loo.

Toodle-loo.

Maybe he skinned out 'cause she was broke.

Or maybe he was afraid she was a keeper.

Either way, Martha had him figured at Hello.

Thou a no in test my head with oil, my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen.

Dorothy.

My deepest sympathies.

Well thank you.

I'm sorry. Raymond Martin.

I was a customer of your husband's.

He was a tough, but honest businessman.

And I know he'll be missed, that son of a gun.

What company you with?

Bradley Coachworks in Cleveland. I manage receivables.

So you know our account man, Ben Chadwick.

Of course. Ben, he's a good man.

Anybody who knew my father, knew he was a son of a bitch.

And Ben Chadwick's been dead five years.

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

My husband's company has been a loyal customer for many years.

In spite of your... disregard for the deceased,

he did a fair business with us.

And it's disgraceful that you'd humiliate a patron on this, of all days.

Shame on you! Shame on you.

Let's go, baby. Let's go, baby.

Shame on you!

Come on. Are you okay?

I'm okay.

It's hard to say whose voodoo was working on who.

But the day them two figured each other out

was the beginning of a bad end for a lot of people.

So what's up with Rene?

You don't need to know.

What, she's got those uh, silver dollar summits.

Am I right?

Come on. A week's pay for confirmation.

You don't make enough, Charlie.

Well that's true.

- Slow down here. - Leave it alone.

- Slow down. Slow down. - Leave it alone.

No-no, come on, stop.

Come on.

Stop.

What're you doing?

- Borrowing money? - Shut the fuck up.

What're you doing?

Back up! Back up, now!

Back up, shit stick.

We gotta get him to County.