The Office

You gonna answer that, kev?

Right. Thanks.

Dunder mifflin. This is kevin.

Please hold while i transfer you.

Oscar, your mom.

Charles is having kevin cover the phones for a while.

How do i say this diplomatically?

I think kevin is doing exactly as well

As anyone might have expected someone like him

To perform in a position like that.

Please hold.

Andy, phone call.

No, stay there.

Kev, i thought we nailed the whole transfer thing earlier.

Yeah, i wrote it on my hand.

But then i washed it.

It's transfer, extension, then transfer again.

Okay. Andy, get ready.

- transfer, Extension - Here we go.

- transfer. - Ah.

Oh, man.

It is 134.

- Kev. - Kev, come on. Hustle.

- You are murdering the nard dog. - this is kev...

Please hold, and i will transfer you.

- You're bad at this too. - just Don't answer that call.

Just transfer the damn call.

Your call is very important to us. Please...

- hey! - Ho!

Andy bernard.

My maid died.

Capture:summerwind Sync:FRS@mzinfo

The office 520

Today's my first day at my new job

At michael scott paper company incorporated.

You know, apple computer started in a garage.

And we're starting in a condo.

Soe cealady have a leg up on apple.

Look,

it's official.

Oh, good, my hooker's here.

Kidding. Hi.

Michael, you were expecting me, right?

Yes, i was. Yes, i was.

A you wearing anything under the robe?

That is inappropriate, pam. Come on in.

This looks great, michael.

Thank you.

Would you like some french toast?

Yes, please.

What shape?

- Square is fine. - All right.

Just wanted to fill you in on a few details.

As you know, i will be running the branch while we search For michael's replacement, So

please feel free to come to me With any questions or concerns.

Yeah.

Where will you be staying while you're in scranton?

Stay? In a hotel.

Charles, where were you born?

Actually, i meant questions More about the day-To-Day operations of the company.

Okay. Yeah?

How are operations at the company?

Just day-To-Day.

Okay, let's go over non-Discretionary cuts. Okay, guys?

thank you

- So... - can you please stop that?

- What? - You're breathing very heavily.

- His is how i breathe. If you have a problem-- - No, it's not.

Okay, jim halpert.

- I need your eyes up front. - Oh, no, i was just...

no, hey, hey. I just want to hear, "yes."

Yes.

Good.

As i was saying...

oh, no,

the new boss do not find jim adorable. Oh.

So what do you say we get started?

After breakfast.

I'm full.

So how you feeling about the new company?

I feel good. Wow.

You excited about the new mpany?

Yeah, i'm excited to start the company.

After breakfast.

We did that. So what's next?

Michael, just stop for a second.

- Michael, stop for a second. - No, i'm whipping it.

- No, i know you are. - Just let go.

- Just let me have the-- - Let go, please.

- Just give me-- - Fine.

Oh, i'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I can't do this.

This is pathetic, isn't it?

I am such an idiot.

I gave up the only job i ever loved to do this?

I have egg in my crocs.

I never see him drink. I never see him eat.

I don't think he even uses the bathroom.

Oh, he does. He does.

I feel weak today.

I felt much stronger yesterday.

Like benjamin button in reverse.

You know, michael, when i feel overwhelmed...

i'm not overwhelmed, pam.

I know. No, i'm saying that when i feel overwhelmed,

Something i like to do is make a list.

Make a list of things to do

And then start with the easy stuff.

- Whatever calms you down. - Okay. First,

work out.

And, hey, look, you did that.

Check.

Eat an enormous breakfast.

- Check. - Don't patronize me, pam.

I think you should get dressed.

I'm not getting dressed.

I'm not getting dressed. I have too many things to do before i get dressed.

I need to find 100 clients.

Michael, that seemsmpossible.

It's totally impossible.

We need to come up With

one realistic thing that we could do today.

Assemble a sales team. A dream team.

Great.

Okay, ryan.

No. What? Why?

He's everything i'm not, and everything i am.

He's the whole package.

No, we're not gonna hire ryan.

Um, oh, vikram!

Best salesman i've ever met.

- Okay. - He worked at that telemarketing place.

- We'll find him. - Okay.

Oh, also, we have a meeting this afternoon With a potential investor.

- Really? We have an investor already? - yeah

Maybe. Barbara kevis. She invests in local businesses.

And i'm putting together a little presentation for her.

Michael, that's fantastic.

Yeah, i guess it's not so bad.

Got a few things cooking.

- Um. - Hey.

We need to get you dressed.

I have doubts about this too.

But when one person freaks out,

Sometimes it weird makes the other one calmer.

That's one thing i've learned about relationships.

I hate that i just used the word relationship.

Hey. You look great.

- Let's go. - All right.

Ah.

You a soccer fan?

Oh. Oh, yeah. I'm so embarrassed.

You weren't supposed to see this. This is like my secret obsession.

Well, that makes two of us.

- No way. - yeah

I hate soccer.

But guess who doesn't hate soccer?

Charles minor.

I was actually in germany for the 2006 world cup finals.

Oh. You bastard.

That should have been me.

Yeah, i love the sport. I love the sport.

- All right, man. - Cool.

I've never been a kiss-Up.

It's just not how i operate.

I mean, i've always subscribed to the idea

That if you really want to impress your boss,

You go in there and you do mediocre work.

Halfheartedly.

Next on the list, open the mail.

Oh, wow. Michael scott paper company.

Okay.

Very official.

"Dear mr. Scott,

"Please be advised that it is in violation

"Of yourondominium agreement To conduct a business headquartered "In your residence.

The penalty of forfeiture of residence..."

No, okay. It's fine. It's fine.

We're just gonna add, "find office."

How are we gonna find an office?

How can we pay for an office?

??? Song parodies.

Okay, okay. Achy breakfart.

Great. Let's sing it in the car.

No, no, no. My stumps.

Likemy humps, but a guy with no legs.

- Yeah. - We can do this.

We can do this.

Whoa, and he just goes boom.

- Yeah. Score. - That's pele.

You know your soccer, man.

I prefer maradona.

Diego maradona from argentina.

I didn't know we had so many soccer fans in the office.

I mean, to be fair, i was the first one To talk about it, but...

what about you, jim? Are you a fan of the game?

Oh, no. No. Not really.

Well, it's not for everybody, i suppose.

That's 'cause i'm more of a player.