The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants

This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins.

George is the kid on the right with the tie and flattop under his hat.

Harold is the one on the left with the T-shirt and the bad haircut.

Remember that, now.

Also, they don't have a permit for this, so you never saw this.

- We're cool! - Me too!

Blah, blah, blah, blah!

Tra-la-la!

The day began with a hint of tension in the air,

thanks to George and Harold

and Mr. Krupp's Tension cologne.

Two tigers take turns tasting tapioca.

Two tigers take turns tasting tapioca.

I am a mountain! Hooga!

Good morning, students.

A reminder that stairwell C has been painted.

Please line up to watch it dry.

Not sure what that, uh...

Today's lunch menu.

Zesty meat taco with deluxe... what?

Meat zesty taco...

Taco zest medley...

Fiesta zesty taco!

Olé taco with zest taco!

And expired milk carton!

Maybe we should've made the cord easier for Mr. Krupp to follow.

Nah, he'll find us.

If there's one thing Krupp is, it's...

Predictable.

You two! My office!

Now!

So, this is your little noisemaker.

Ahh!

It's actually the My Hammy Sound Machine.

Over 2,000 amazing sounds.

Quiet!

The My Hammy Sound Machine, created for one purpose: fun.

Mr. Krupp likes fun even less than he likes kids.

Get out! What? Stop!

Turn it off!

There's a switch.

- Did you call me? - No!

- 'Cause I thought I heard... - No!

There's a bird on your car.

- Not now! - Fine!

- So… - Yep, we're guilty.

So I guess you got to ban us from the school dance.

Tough break.

But if you're not strict, we'll never learn.

We were really looking forward to that dance.

Ah, me too.

Can it! I know your game.

I know your ploy.

I know your...

other word like that!

You're going to the dance.

I am going to the dance.

Everyone is going to the dance!

What about fun? Is fun going to the dance?

Ha ha ha.

No.

I am simply happy that this office visit...

...puts you one step closer

to being expelled.

That's punishment enough.

- Did you... - No!

Fine!

All that work and we still got to go to the dance.

Yeah. I'd rather go to the dentist.

Two dentists!

With huge, gross muscles!

And no toothbrushes! Just, like, pirate hook hands.

And floss made out of shark guts!

Yeah!

And mega slime eyes that explode!

Oh, with, like, big, huge mirrors on their heads.

That reflect the sun and, like, torch the bad guys' plan!

Oh, yeah. So good.

- We still got to go to the dance. - Yeah.

So why were George and Harold trying to get banned from the dance?

Dances are fun, right?

Had the world turned upside down?

These Electro-magna-boots 2000 make gravity...

Oof!

Stupid sweaty feet!

No, the truth is George and Harold hate dances

because Mr. Krupp hates dances.

But he has to have them.

It all started with Charles Cotesworth Pinckney in 1787

adding a rule in the Constitution making school dances mandatory.

That's why all schools and TV shows about schools have school dances.

Darn you, Charles Cotesworth Pinckney!

So Mr. Krupp does his best to make sure that they're no fun.

I bet this year's dance will be even duller than three years ago.

"Night of Magic Spelling Dictation."

Yeah, and two years ago. "Enchantment under the Tarp."

And last year's "Moonlight Standardized Placement Testing Jamboree," ugh.

"Enchanted Waiting Room"?

- We got to do something! - Like what?

I don't know, but this is when we would typically do something.

Yeah!

Are you guys in line to watch the paint dry?

No! For the dance. DJ auditions!

- DJ auditions? - DJ auditions?

- DJ auditions! - DJ auditions!

It was the DJ auditions.

Come on. We're gonna audition.

And that was when George and Harold decided to become DJs...

Hold up!

Ahem.

And that was when George and Harold became DJs

to make the dance fun.

Ms. Hurd.

Ms. Hurd!

- Can't even... - Droopy Drawers!

Wha...Oh!

Sit down!

Listen up!

Even though I always choose Ms. Hurd as the DJ for the dance,

everyone here today has a chance, even though I will choose Ms. Hurd.

Begin.

Our DJ set is just one song.

"Don't You Dare Touch My Hair, I Swear."

- By The Flare Bears. - Is she speaking English?

I'm uncomfortable... inside.

Cut that racket!

Next!

I have to feed my cat.

Cut that racket!

Next!

My favorite so far. Next!

No!

Take them and let me serve you!

Hmm, I knew we weren't being enslaved by robots.

Behold the Raisetheroofitron 2000!

The future of mobile dance music!

- Cut that racket! - Next.

What? But... But I...

Next.

Nobody rejects my robot-based, retro-future, 8-bit midi music

and gets away with it!

They'll see! Hmph!

Oh!

- Hi, we're... - Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!

Hold what? We haven't even started.

Hold it, fellas. I'm afraid you're just too darn loud.

But we didn't play anything.

I'd rather listen to werewolves throw up!

You didn't even...

Wait. Have you really heard a werewolf throw up?

- Yes! - Whoa!

- So cool! - I was petrified!

I stayed in my basement for three days.

I survived by eating my own eyelashes and toenail clippings!

All right, well, that's the last audition.

I've tallied the scores, and the DJ is,

oh, my, our music teacher, Ms. Droopy Drawers.

I... I'm sorry. Um...

Ms. Hurd!

Aw!

Oh!

This is a sham and a travesty!

A... A "shavesty"!

Yes! A "shavesty"!

George and Harold were right.

Unfortunately, "shavesty" is not a word.

- Nope. - Darn you, Charles Cotesworth Pinckney!

Ugh, he's making the dance no fun again.

What are we gonna do?

Same thing we always do when forces of evil rally against us.

Make a comic book!

Captain Underpants

and the Dreadful Debacle of DJ Drowsy Drawers

by George Beard and Harold Hutchins.

Once upon a time, our school was gonna have a dance.

All the kids were excited because they loved dancing.

They're like, "Dancing is fun and stuff." "Yeah, it is, too!"

"We can have a raffle and win walkie-talkies!"

"Dance!" But the mean Principal hated dancing.

He's all, "Butts are for sitting, not shaking and bouncing!"

So he says, "I'll ruin the dance

by hiring the most boring DJ in the phone book!

DJ Drowsy Drawers? You're hired!"

But it was a trap!

DJ Drowsy Drawers was an evil alien robot lady who was evil!

Ha ha ha!

She wanted to make everyone go asleep with boring music

so she could conquer Earth.

"Sleep, you policeman, for example!"

"So easy!"

At the dance, DJ Drowsy Drawers played boring beats and did a boring rap.

The kids tried to dance, but they couldn't stay awake.

"Yawn! Yawn! Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z!"

Just then, Captain Underpants swooped in!

"I hear there's a raffle for walkie-talkies and soda!"

He drank a whole bunch of soda.

But then he sees that DJ Drowsy Drawers has sleep-attacked everyone!

And DJ goes, "You're next, Undipants!"

She blasts him with boring notes, and he starts to sleep!

But he fights back.