Curb Your Enthusiasm

- Huh? Is that amazing? - That is...

- Unbelievable story! - You know what?

None of it would have happened

if I didn't intercede on that guy's behalf in the restaurant.

- Unbelievable, Larry. - It saved your life.

- Saved my life. - What if he hadn't wanted seconds?

None of this would have happened.

- None of it would have happened. - Bashert.

The fatwa is over!

- Yes! - The fatwa is over!

Let's drink to that, huh?

It's a new me. It's a new me.

Well, whatever. We're glad you're back, Larry.

- Thank you, Susie. - Welcome.

I didn't even tell you the biggest news.

"Fatwa! the Musical" is back on.

- It is? - Whoa, wait... wait a second.

You're jumping the gun a little bit.

We're having a meeting with Lin-Manuel Miranda this week,

and if he wants to do it, then...

You're meeting with Lin-Manuel Miranda? Oh, my...

It's the only way it can go forward... is if he's in it.

He's in LA now, right? Isn't it... aren't they doing the show here?

Yeah, they're doing "Hamilton."

Yeah, can you get us tickets? I mean, it's here.

No, it's here and we can't even get tickets to it!

Already with the "Hamilton" tickets? Are you kidding?

- I would love some, too. - Huh?

I don't know if I can get you tickets.

I haven't even met the guy yet.

- You saw it, right? - Yeah, I saw it in New York.

- Fantastic. - Isn't it so fantastic?

Oh, my God, I love that show. Incredible.

I saw it and I played...

36 holes of golf that day.

And, uh, I fell asleep before the second act of "Hamilton."

- You're kidding. - I slept through...

I slept through the intermission.

- No! - You fell asleep? Wait a minute.

Only you would fall asleep at the hottest show on Broadway.

- Hey, hey. Guys, guys. - How did you fall asleep?

- It's so exciting and interesting. - The Shucker.

- Excuse me, the Shucker. - Oh, the Shucker.

- Hey, how's everybody doing? - Hello.

- Taste good? - Fantastic.

It's all good? No grit?

- No grit. - Okay, no grit.

Just shuck and awe. Okay, well, that's great.

I've got a... I got a whole bunch of bluepoints.

Got some Kusshis for you all.

- Whoo! - Hope you left some room.

- Okay. - I know he did.

Fantastic. Cute as could be.

- Ay, God. - Shucking?

- What's the matter? - What's the matter?

- What happened? - He overheard that entire story

about me sleeping through "Hamilton."

What do you care? What difference does it make?

I just hope it doesn't get back to... to Lin.

I doubt that, Larry. You're paranoid.

He shucks all over town. I don't know what circles he shucks in.

He could shuck and tell.

- I'll be back. - Do you think we can still get the tickets?

Who's ringing the bell this time of night?

It's Lin-Manuel Miranda.

I think he heard about the...

Hello, I'm Rose Shapiro. Remember me?

No.

I sold you this house five years ago.

Oh, okay.

Um, well, what can I do for you?

Well, I was in the neighborhood

and I thought I'd just pop in

and see how my house is doing if that's okay with you.

Actually, I'm... sorry, I've got some dinner guests, so.

Well, I won't take but a minute.

I was so happy in this house. I lived here for 50 years.

Raised all my children here. Is that okay?

- Yeah, I... yeah, okay. - Oh, oh, thank you.

But it can't be too long, though, okay?

It won't be, I promise you. I'll be very discreet.

What have you done here?

You've covered up that cut stone from Italy with a rug!

Yeah, well, it needed a little warming up in here.

It was very cold and I happen to like it.

And you know what? It happens to be my house, so...

And what have you done in here?

Where's the wonderful wallpaper I put up?

The wallpaper with the pirates? Are you kidding?

It was the first thing I took down when I moved in.

Well, I guess it's your house.

You can do anything you want to.

- Yeah, oh, yes! - I think I'll check over here.

That's true! That... I can do anything I want to!

What are you doing... what the fuck?

I'm checking the master bedroom.

I don't want you to. It's my house.

Well, all right. If you wanna be that way.

Yeah, I think I do wanna be that way.

I do. All right, you know what?

I think it's time to go. Let's go. Come on.

- All right. - Come on.

- I guess I better go. - Enough. I've had enough.

- Oh! - Ay-ay-ay.

Look at this poor ficus! What have you done?

I left this with you in good faith to love and cherish.

Yeah, no, I've taken very good care of it.

- It's old. - It's dropping all its leaves. Do you water it?

Of course I water it. All right, come on, I got some people here.

You've got to go. Come on.

There's the door. Time to go. Thank you.

Good-bye. Thank you for stopping by.

- Don't do it again. - No, I know, I know.

And then, Todd, this other guy,

had... what's the male equivalent of bush?

- Man bush. - Man bush.

That, like... so, finding his penis was like...

I'm searching for the baby bird in the...

- In the nest. - In the nest.

And then I'm, like, looking.

I couldn't even find the goods

because the Afro was so intense.

Yeah, okay, all right.

I think... I think we've heard enough of that story.

- Sorry, Lar. - But, Larry,

she has so many funny stories about her exes.

I've been hearing them for years.

- They're hilarious. - Yeah, I'm sure.

- Yeah. - Remember the one you told me about?

- The guy who... the leaner? - Yeah, the leaner.

- Yes. - The Leaning Tower of Pisa?

- That guy? - The Leaning Tower of Peter.

Yeah, oh, that's... that's a good one, too.

- That was a good one. - I know, I know.

And then Todd, this other guy...

Oh, yeah. Oh, that was so many years ago.

Oh, my God. I don't believe it.

This room used to be so warm and inviting.

Mrs. Shapiro, what are... what are you doing?

- Well, I just... - I thought you left.

Well, I was just looking around.

- It used to be so different. - She used to live in the house.

Uh, she wanted to look around.

And the house was so much better when I had it.

- I don't know what he's done with this. - Okay, you need to go now.

- Well, you don't have to be rude about it. - You're the one being rude.

You come in here and you're criticizing my house.

You don't live here anymore.

That's right, keep going.

Yeah, and now close it.

Close it.

- Go... go back to the leaner. - Okay.

The Leaning Tower of Peter?

Oh, and he was a biter, too.

He used to bite me on the ass.

- Which was not as bad as... - A bite on the damn nipple!

Oh, my God, totally. 'Cause that hurts.

Well, that's it, everybody.

- I'm all done for the night. - Whoo!

Thanks. It's been a privilege working for you tonight.

And I hope you agree with me

that this has been a spectacular "shuck-cess."

- Whoa! - Oh, nice. Okay.

- Thank you. - I'll... I'll walk you out.

- He's adorable. - Yeah.

- Bridge, what was the guy... - Anyway, um,

it was great having you here tonight.

Everybody really enjoyed it.

I hope so. I hope so.

- Had a great time. - Yeah. Yeah, it was great.

Um, I just wanna say one thing.

You know, earlier when I was talking about "Hamilton,"

what... what you didn't hear me say was that I played,

uh, 36 holes of golf that day and I was exhausted.

And that's one of the reasons I was so tired,

uh, during the performance.

I mean, I... I loved what I... what I saw.

Sure. What I heard was that you fell asleep.

Yes, I did fall asleep, but what you didn't hear

is why I fell asleep, why I was so tired.

- I loved the show. - Sure.

You can paint it or dress it up

anyway you want, but sleep is sleep.

- And you fell asleep. - Yeah.

- All right? - True, I did.

But, uh, I would hope that as you shuck

from house to house that, uh,

you can afford me some shucker discretion in this matter.

- I understand. - Oh.

- And I appreciate that. - Good. Thank you.

And I would also appreciate, um,

two tickets to "Hamilton."

- Oh. Really? - Yeah.

Well...

I don't have any access

to getting you tickets to "Hamilton," okay?

- It's most unfortunate. - And why is... why is that?

It'd be a shame if Lin-Manuel Miranda

ever found out that someone was falling asleep in his show.

- I'll see what I can do. - Super.