Rock of Ages

Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready to rock?

Welcome to the famous Bourbon Room on the Sunset Strip:

Stacee Jan! and Arsenal!

Hey, Los Angeles!

This is a little song called "Paradise City. "

oh

Just an urchin Iivin' under the street I'm a hard case that's tough to beat

I'm your charity case So buy me something to eat

I'll pay you at another time

Take it to the end of the line

Take me down to the paradise city

Where the grass is green And the girls are pretty

Take me home

Yeah, yeah

Take me down to the paradise city Where the grass is green

Sister Christian Oh, the time has come

And you know that you're the only one To say

okfl.V

Where you going? What you looking for?

You know those boys Don't want to play no more

With you

It's true

It's true

It's true

It's true

Yeah

You're motoring

What's your price for flight?

In finding Mr. Right

You'll be all right tonight

This must be just like Iivin' in paradise

And I don't wanna go home

This must be just like Iivin' in paradise

And I don't wanna go home

Hey, hey!

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Gin', you've been meant for this Since you were born

Since she was born

No problem now

The coast is clear

It's just the calm before the storm

This must be just like Iivin' in paradise

Paradise

And I don't wanna go home

Whoa

Not a dime, I can'! pay my rent

I can barely make it through the week

Saturday night I'd like to meet my girl

But right now I can'! make ends meet

I'm always workin' SIavin' every day

Gotta get a break From the same old same old

I need a chance just to get away

If you could hear me think This is what I'd say

Don't need nothin' but a good time

How can I resist?

Ain't look:'n' for noth:'n' But a good time

And it don't get better than this

Came an, sun. Up you get!

Whoa!

Ga to rehab!

Ya, Lanny, haw came you never take out the trash?

I leave that to you. You're a musician, so it's important that you suffer.

I'm talentless, so suffering's wasted an me.

- When was the last time you suffered? - Six o'clock this evening...

...when I gut up for work.

Say I spend my money On women and wine

But I couldn't tell you where I spent last night

I'm really sorry about the shape I'm in

I just-a like my fun every now and then

I'm always workin' SIavin' every day

Gotta get a break From the same old same old

I need a chance just to get away

If you could hear me think This is what I'd say

Don't need noth:'n' but a good time

How can I resist?

Ain't look:'n' for noth:'n' but a good time

And it don't get better than this

Dennis! Dennis!

You see, I raise a toast to all of us

Who are breakin' our backs every day

If want:'n' the good fife is such a crime

A-Lord, then put me away

Here's to ya

Ow!

- Don't need nothin' but a good time - Oh, yeah, yeah

Hey, baby, came an, give me a kiss.

- Drew! - Came an, give me a kiss! Hey!

- Came an! - Drew!

- Get him cut! - Came an.

- I've had enough of this! Tell Dennis I quit! - Beth! Came an!

L1' w'n ' in paradise

And I don't wanna go home

I lave her, man! Came an!

You're all gonna go to hell!

Hey.

- Where you from? - Oklahoma.

Well, welcome to Hollywood.

- Thanks. - Give me that!

- Let go! Came an! Let me have it! - Na! Na!

- Hey! - Give me it!

- Stop it! - Leave her alone!

Wait! Oh, stop! Please! Somebody!

- Ugh... - Na. Na. Na.

Are you okay?

Shit.

- Did he take your money? - He tank my records.

Oh, my Gad.

Lack, I'm sorry this happened. It sucks.

I'm Drew.

Sherrie.

"The Bourbon Roam"?

- You work at The Bourbon Room? - Yeah. I'm a barback.

One of these days, my name's gonna be up there.

- You're in a band? - I'm a singer.

Get cut! Me tan.

Oh, my God. The Bourbon Room. I have, like, 10 albums that were recorded there.

More like "had"?

Had.

Yep.

Well, thank you.

Thanks.

Again.

Don't go in there, it's filth!

- Hey. - Don't join them!

Dc you need ajab? I could talk to Dennis Dupree, my bass.

Pray you'll be saved!

Are you serious?

Just whatever you do, don't tell him you're a singer.

Jimmy!

I told you 10,000 times. Girls drink free, dudes pay full freight.

They are dudes.

Lack, I haven't charged a girl since '13.

For a minute, I thought that Kate Jackson from Charlie's Angels...

-...had walked into my club. - More like Michael Jackson.

- Doesn't he lack pale to you? - He does a bit.

Dennis! Meet Sherrie. She needs a job, man.

Na, I don't think so. She's a singer.

No, she just came in from out of town.

Oh, okay, now, if I may.

- You sang in the church chair every Sunday. - Lutheran.

Senior year, you had the third lead in your high school musical.

- Sound of Music. - And then somebody...

...your adorable Aunt Betty, told you you had real talent.

- It was actually my Aunt Doris. - Uh-huh.

And like a flaming dipshit you believed her, dumped yourjock boyfriend...

...ditched town and moved to Hollywood to have a crack at fame and fortune.

Am I missing anything?

L...

Yeah, okay.

Actually, my boyfriend wasn't really athletic.

And look. I'm a waitress.

Came an. She's practically gut mike burns an her lips.

I'm not interested, sweetheart. I need you two to get back to work.

- Please, Mr. Dupree. I'm a hard worker. - You seem like a really nice kid.

I just gm mugged-

I have $17 to my name and I'm probably gonna be starving in the next 48 hours.

- And Beth just quit. - Beth just quit?

Okay, fine. You're hired.

Oh, my God. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

What are you thanking me for? I ruined your life. You start training tomorrow.

This place is turning into a war zone. It's Arsenal's last show.

Arsenal? Oh, my Gad, I lave Stacee Jaxx.

It's your lucky day. He's going sale.

Hey, want to go celebrate? I'm coming up an my break.

Yeah. Sure.

A year Hga...

A year ago, people asked whose campaign...

...I would throw my financial support behind...

...and I knew there was only one man an the ticket...

...that could restore the city to its original glory.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mayor Mike Whitmore.

Thank you. Couldn't have done it without you, Doug.

Ahh.

Thank you, Les Angeles.

You know, Doug Flintlock here...

well, he just leaned into my ear and he said:

"Mike, I have kids. Teenagers.

And these days, I'm scared for them.

We need to clean up this city."

Well, I can tell you that...

...l, for one, am not scared for our city's children.

And that's because I have a secret weapon.

My rack.

My soul mate.

And the best darn wife any man could hope to have.

Please welcome my wife:

The beautiful Patricia Whitmore!

Oh.

Came an up here, Patty-cake!

We did it!

Oh. Thank you.

Today, the city of Los Angeles gets a twofer!

Nat only the best mayor this city has ever had...

...but also me.

A mother.

So tomorrow, as part of my "Clean Up The Strip" initiative...

...we start to make this city safe again for our young people.

She lacks familiar to me, this woman. She lacks eerily familiar.

You've probably popped something an your ass that resembles her.

I shouldn't have thought so. That's all cleared up nicely, thank you very much.