Boy Bastos

- People with righteousness… - People with righteousness…

- ...and Your poor with justice. - Your poor with justice.

Do you know what this means?

Or did you just memorize it?

No, we're trying to.

Alright, thirdly--

The mountains

- will bring peace to the people-- - Hey!

You asshole, what are you doing?

Stop bothering me.

What is this?

This is written on the third psalm. You're just now hearing about it.

The number--

Look at this!

What the hell have you been doing?

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Don’t!

Look at this guy!

- Hey! - Stop!

What is this?

- Now, we have four psalms… - Let me see!

Don’t!

What is this?

Who owns this?

You're dead, moron!

What vile creation is this?

This is Felix.

The hero of this story.

How did things come to this?

Let's back up a few tracks.

As they say,

Sigmund Freud was the first horny bastard.

and Felix Bakat is at the 'Phallic Stage'.

Sensitivity now becomes concentrated in the genitals,

and masturbation in both sexes

becomes a new sense of pleasure.

The child becomes aware of anatomical sex differences

which sets in motion

conflict between erotic attraction,

resentment,

rivalry,

jealousy,

and fear.

It's a lot to chew on, huh?

Basically, all that shit just means

that Felix's sex drive is in full gear at this stage of his life.

Relax!

Don’t be so quick to judge him.

It's natural to be curious about your own sexual desires.

Raise your hand if you've never been horny.

Remember back when

there wasn't a lot of options to jack off to?

This is the Worthless Legend

of Boy Sleazy!

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

- Change the channel! - There, right there! Is that a boob?

How is that a boob? Those are cookies!

Change the channel so we can see it better!

Then change it again,

maybe it'll clear up.

- Is that it? - Let's just watch some stupid TV series.

We know

they'll end up smooching each other anyway.

Let's just watch out for the naughty bits.

What the hell even is "Jaks Abang"?

This is what horny little squirts do

where they'd wait for anything even remotely sensual

on whatever they’re watching.

- Watch out for the naughty parts. Game. - Okay, okay.

There, hold it.

Nice!

Anyway,

as you can see,

teenage boys have zero standards.

You died, Jesus--

Shit, it's Jesus!

Lord, sorry. We’re very sorry.

I didn’t mean to

watch bold shows, Lord.

Also, I'm sure everyone's familiar with this sound.

And while it's connecting,

you just pray hard

that no one would pick up the phone.

Not to mention getting a virus from all the pop-up ads.

But if all you want is female eyecandy to please your sexual desires,

nothing compares to the real thing.

Come on. Let’s do this.

Pull me. Pull me!

Wait, wait a sec.

Are we sure we're going to do this?

You can do it, Garfield!

- You go first, come on! - Why me?

- Felix, you go! - I don’t want to!

- Fine, I'll do it! I'll do it! - Alright, you go!

- I don't want to! - Hey!

The question is, can they handle the real thing?

Lord, we’re really very sorry...

Come here!

Hurry! Did you get it?

Shit.

Bro, the cashier was glaring at me!

So did you get it?!

Are you that horny? Relax!

Ah, it's still going! Lord, sorry!

There!

- Bring them out! - Check these out.

Viva Hot Babes…

- Viva Hot Babes… - Here’s more, here’s more...

- Maui Taylor! - Here, Scorpio Nights.

And this is the best!

Hentai!

Hentai,

for those who don't know,

is basically Japanese porn expressed through 2D animation.

Cartoons?

Bro,

Trust me, this ain't your typical cartoons.

- Just put it on. - Put it on.

You’ll like it.

Felix never knew a world like this existed.

What rock was he living under

during his adolescent years?

And because of this,

Felix discovered his uncanny talent for drawing.

Still, you be the judge

if such talents

are better put to good use

with the right mind,

than making sexually-charged pieces of art.

Whose is this? Who drew this?

Tell me!

Felix Bakat Cabahug!

You disgusting child!

Do you use those hands to pray?

Alright, quiet! Quiet!

You need Jesus in your heart!

Boy Sleazy!

That's what they should call you!

My goodness!

Lord God!

This kind of thing is what you pick up on Friendster!

Why did you guys have to pass it around like that?

Well,

I didn’t know someone would throw it at Sister.

Tell me this.

Why the hell

were you drawing her?

I just got so sick of her face.

It's freaking stupid.

So instead of looking at it,

I just drew her instead.

I love that you gave Sister Candelario a banging bod.

Why are you guys picking on me?

I'm getting stressed out.

She wants me to write the Bible in handwritten form!

To 'cleanse the filth' off me.

Well, she's not wrong.

Wait a minute.

Are you guys done with your circuit board assignment for Sir Labayen?

Oh, shit! I haven't started.

When is it due again?

That's due tomorrow, man!

- Holy shit! It's for tomorrow? - Shit! Yeah!

Yes!

What a hassle!

You know the problem with this school?

They make the minor subjects as heavy as the major subjects!

Damn right.

Religious Ed?

- Our course is Engineering! - Yeah!

The hell they want us to do,

recreate The Tower of David?!

Well, of course,

they need to show that

Saint Theresita Academy of Education is as Catholic as can be.

- Yeah! - And do you know why.

- Yeah! - our tuition fees keep climbing up?

- Yeah! - It's because

they're planning to build a skating rink

- in the gymnasium! - Yeah!

You keep saying 'yeah',

Yeah. yeah!

Is that all you can say?

Yeah--

- Bro. - Asshole.

- Bro! - What?

What is it?

Bro, look who it is.

Hey! That’s--

Is that Nikita from Nursing?

Yeah, that's Ponty!

Look.

Look at that fat-to-breast ratio!

Perfect!

That!

That is art!

Wait, is that why she's named Nikita Ponty?

Because her boobs look like they're pointing at you?

Does that even matter?