Package Deal

That was an amazing dinner.

You shouldn't have gone to all the trouble.

Oh, it's no trouble.

And for dessert, something simple--

a lavender-infused creme brulee with a hard sugar shell.

Mm!

Now, I'll just caramelize the top.

Impressive.

Not to mention sexy!

What about the creme brulee?

It's okay. I'll be hungry later.

Tonight has been amazing.

Oh, this last month has been amazing.

In fact...

I think it's time we take it to the next level.

Ooh!

There's something I've been wanting us to do.

Okay. Um...

Can we have a safe-word?

No! No. No, I want you to meet my brothers.

Oh, good.

Sorry, Danny. Meat emergency.

Ooh! Hey.

You must be Kim.

I'm Ryan. That's Sheldon.

It's really nice to... "Meet" you.

What's going on?

I got 80 pounds of Chuck I gotta unload.

Couldn't meet my sales quota.

Can't you do this later?

Sorry, dude. Sales are down.

People are looking out for their health.

Yeah, that's why I've been eating salmon.

Are you serious?

You know how polluted the oceans are?

Salmons are turds with fins.

Very romantic, guys. Now get out!

Really nice meeting you.

So, those are your brothers?

You're gonna love them.

Sorry about last night, Danny.

Meat is such a cruel mistress.

Don't worry, it took a little while,

but I got us back on track.

It bet it was my four-layer lasagna.

Who cares about your lasagna?

It's the creme brulee that gets them hot.

That's a culinary tool, not a sex toy.

Gotta admit, you were right.

I told ya. It's the fire.

Makes the chicks all nervous.

They don't know why.

That fear turns into arousal.

There's nothing more masculine than a flambe.

Look, guys. There's something I need to talk to you about.

I want you to meet Kim.

Really? Again?

Do we have that much more to talk about?

I mean properly.

Look, Kim is awesome. Trust me, you're gonna love her.

Didn't you say that about your last girlfriend?

"Snaggle-tooth"?

Brooke.

And "poodle-hair"?

Natalie.

And the Hebrew teacher with the really bad skin.

Rivka.

And, frankly, that could've been something

if you didn't keep interrogating her

about her cleansing routine.

Come on, man! Who uses bar soap?

Look, Kim is different, okay?

I think she could be the one.

One what?

You know, "the one."

Wait a minute. Wait a minute, little bro.

Are you trying to tell me

that you used my creme brulee secret

to get into some kind of a relationship?

I told you!

That was strictly for getting you laid.

Look, I know how disappointed you must be,

but sometimes these things happen.

Look, Kim is really special to me.

Fine, we'll meet her.

Who would like a nice juicy t-bone?

Dude, those are frozen solid.

Don't worry.

This pound puppy isn't just for melting the chicks.

Relax! Your opening statement this morning was great.

It was thorough.

It was well-argued.

Very impressive.

Coming from you, that means a lot.

You've worked with

some of the best lawyers in the city.

Well, when you've been in court as often as I have,

you, uh, develop an eye for talent.

I was worried about that statement.

You know, I've been pretty distracted

by Kim lately.

Yeah. Love.

It makes you temporarily insane.

You really were listening to my opening.

The truth is, I'm just nervous

to introduce her to my brothers.

Why? Does she have bad skin,

like that last young lady I met?

No. She's great.

Then I don't see the problem.

Well, maybe there isn't one.

It's just, I really like Kim.

Oh! So you think she could be the one, huh?

Well, maybe.

How do you know?

Oh, there are signs.

When you're with her, your heart skips a beat,

when you're not with her, you think about her,

wondering what she's doing,

who she's doing it with,

following her at night...

Rooting through her underwear drawer...

Allegedly.

- Oh! Yeah. - Yeah.

The point is,

I'm sure your brothers will come to like her.

Okay? But even if they don't,

isn't it more important that you and I like her?

Of course. Absolutely.

You're right.

You know, you're a wise man.

Yep. Wise, but crazy.

Don't forget the crazy.

I'm so glad we got to do this.

Dan talks about you two all the time.

Who?

Dan.

You mean Danny?

She calls me Dan.

I named you Danny.

Mom let me!

So, where are you from, Kimberly?

Well, I'm from Los Angeles.

Really? Huh.

My wife and I used to vacation

in Santa Barbara.

Oh. That must've been nice.

Oh, sure, take her side.

He's divorced.

My ex is a surgeon!

Yeah. I sacrificed everything

so she could fulfill her dream.

I cooked, I cleaned.

I gave her my body.

Oh, yeah.

And what did I get in return?

What was it again? Right! She left me!

For the first gastroenterologist who looked her way.

But I'm over it.

I'm really sorry.

Don't be.

He got a huge settlement.

He was a househusband.

It's like a housewife, but for men with no sack.

So, uh, why'd you leave California?

You, uh, on the run?

Actually, I moved to go to grad school

at u of t and never left.

Would you like the transcripts?

Yes. Have the school send them directly.

Honey, you want a drink?

-Yes. -I do.

-Double. -Got it.

So, Sheldon, you're a meat salesman?

Yes. I prefer "beef liaison,"

but, uh, there you go.

Listen, I got three dozen cuts of sirloin in the trunk.

I can give you a sweet deal.

I don't eat meat.

Or things out of a trunk.

Huh. Danny didn't mention that you were, uh, you know...

A vegetarian?

The enemy.

So, Kim,

what do you do when

you're not throwing yourself at our brother?

Oh, I own a tea shop.

It's called "the loose leaf."

Oh? You sell coffee?

No, it's a "tea" shop.

But you should sell coffee.

Let me get straight to the point.

What are your intentions with our brother?

-Intentions? -Yeah.

What are you, his parents?

Actually, our parents

passed away when "Danny" was 12,

so, in a way, yes.

Of course.

He told me all about that.