Workaholics

All right, guys.

Put some pep in your step,

'cause I want to get some good seats.

- Whoo! - Yeah, dude.

Hey, no spoilers, but this thing's

supposed to have it all.

Blood, sugar, sex, magic.

Hey, if you guys figure it out, do not tell me,

because I want to be surprised.

Sometimes I don't figure it out

until the ride home or until a few hours later.

Or honestly, sometimes it helps if you guys

just tell me what happened.

Uh, my man,

three for "The People vs. Dom Dierkes"

murder trial, please, and we're students.

Uh, guys, we don't have a student discount,

and we don't sell tickets.

- Oh, okay. - Also, and I don't feel like

doing this, but you aren't giving me a choice.

I have to arrest you.

Yeah, I don't think so, man. I didn't vote.

So I don't think I could be arrested.

I can smell you through the glass.

You have a joint behind your ear.

- Do I? - Yeah.

- Yeah, that's my bad. - Jesus.

And that guy is holding a bong.

Oh.

This actually isn't a bong.

It is...Kombucha.

Drink it.

- Some new--new age stuff. - Yeah.

Yoga people drink it, so--and I'm one of them.

- Yeah. - Uh-huh, yeah.

It's thick.

Mr. DeMamp,

you've got more DUIs than my grandson can count up to.

Oh, no.

Did he have, like, an accident?

'Cause I heard--like,

this one construction worker got a bolt in his head,

and then he couldn't count.

He's three, you dummy.

Now, my point is,

that the only thing you've accomplished

is getting arrested for being an idiot.

Is that what you want your legacy to be?

And you,

you look like every other

self-centered, dope-smoking kid with your--

with your cool T-shirt and your pervert mustache.

I look weird without it, but thank you

for the compliment on the T-shirt.

That's very sweet of you.

When was the last time

you did something for someone else

rather than smoking that damn hashish?

And you, you look like

you could actually be an upstanding citizen.

Thank you.

What do you want to do with your life, son?

Uh, well, sir, one day I hope to be city councilman.

Well, there's a war on drugs out there,

and you're on the wrong side of it.

I want the three of you

to go to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting,

and perhaps getting a firsthand look at how drugs

rip people's lives apart will do you some good.

Thank you, honorable Judge "Browntown."

Judge, I just want you to know

I'm gonna take full advantage

of these N.A. classes.

Well, I'm glad to hear that, son.

Yeah, I'm gonna go undercover

and sniff out some primo intel for you.

Hopefully we can put an end to this Rancho drug war

once and for all, right?

Do not do that.

Right... side of the law.

- I'm doing it, yeah. - No, don't.

I need to smoke some weed.

Court-mandated meetings, am I right?

What are you in for, bud?

Ah, I'm actually just observing the meeting.

I'm a journalist.

Oh, well, I dream journal, so--

No, I'm--I'm a reporter for "VICE" magazine.

I'm writing a story about meth abuse.

To be perfectly honest, I'm looking for an addict

that would agree to be profiled.

See you guys in the meeting.

Yes, you will.

Got a large group tonight.

Whoo! Yeah, recovery!

Welcome, my name's Tim,

and, uh, when I first walked through the doors--

Dude, I just figured out

what I'm gonna do to, like, have my legacy be badass.

My face on the cover of "VICE" magazine.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But the only thing is,

is that guy wants a crazy meth head.

Mm-hmm.

You just occasionally smoke weed.

Except for every day and at night, also.

Yeah, I'm just saying, all you've ever done is weed

and, you know, beer and mushrooms

and acid and, you know, ecstasy, Molly...

- Mm-hmm, yeah. - Some lean, sizzurp.

- Yep. - But other than that...

Did you say something?

Would you like to come up and share?

I'm--I'm cool. I'm not an addict.

Okay.

If that's what your heart believes.

Come on!

I don't have a problem, okay?

I'm fine!

Can we go, please? I need to smoke a bowl.

No, I'm gonna stay here. I have work to do.

Okay, yeah, I gotta go.

I gotta get some fresh air really quick.

Dang, what's up with all these snacks?

What's up, man? I'm Shaunders.

Good to meet you, dude.

Can you believe these marks in there?

Talking about, "I wanna get high."

"I wish I was still high."

, go get high!

Know what I mean? But I'll tell you what.

I, uh, probably gonna need something

a little stronger than this coffee

if I'ma get through this meeting; for real, though.

Do you have a hookup?

Are you seriously asking me for drugs at a N.A. meeting?

Did I stutter?

Dude, I've been sober for eight months.

Oh, you gonna take it personal, okay.

Please, man, you look like a old-ass,

whack Peter Pan, so, like,.

Hey, "fyi,"

normally what I say here, I want to stay here,

but if any of this lands in "VICE" magazine...

I'm actually looking for someone

who's in the grip of addiction, struggling to get out.

You seem like you're getting your life together.

My name is Linda.

I went to that bar, Ed's Jug House, to score,

and I left my kids alone in the car.

Social Services took them from me,

and now I just want to see my kids again.

Oh, God!

Oh, you could sit down, 'cause that actually--

sit down right now-- 'cause that inspired me.

I recently lost myself to meth once again,

and just like this girl who seems like

she has it all together now

and is fully on the road to recovery,

I was also at Ed's Jug House,

and I...

I ate a puppy.

And on top of that, I, uh...

sucked a bunch of .

I'm good at it, so I could just

really get in there and just...

Big ones, small ones, girthy ones,

ones that looked like it had, like, alopecia.

And that's my story.

Did I miss anything?

Psych! I hate this shit.

I'm out the game. It's been a long time.

I'm trying to hop back in, so I'm wondering

if you got any connects.

It ain't smart to be asking questions about Zippo.

Zip--Zippo? You say Zippo?

You tell Zippo...

Shaunders.

Just need a smoke, man.

Jeez, get off my back.

I can't--I can't-- I can't do this.

Mr. Buckley?

Yeah--no.

It is you!

What? Oh, hi.

- Wow, Mr. Buckley, hey. - Can I help you?

I haven't seen you since drama camp.

- It's me, it's Blake Henderson. - Oh, yes.

I, uh, I was Lenny's, uh, understudy's backup's stand-in.

Okay, yes, yeah, and you were wonderful.

- Wonderful performance. - What are you doing?

You, uh, going-- going into the meeting, or...?

I just can't seem to drag myself in there.

They're such dreaded affairs, aren't they?

Well, now that I have you here,

I'd love to just pick your brain about acting, right?

Get it--just write it in my little notebook.

Well, write this down.

All right.

"Give it up."