Pazhani (பழனி)

From a weird reverie of dark revelation,

Mr Grubb woke up with a strange sensation.

Slipping out through the crack at the back of the lair,

trudging out through the muck and the thick, misted air,

where the collywobblers warbled their sinister call

and the dinglebaggles scurried on jittery claws,

his ghostly breath mixing in with the fog,

he plonked himself down on a damp, mossy log.

But then in the sludge, just a few feet away,

Mr Grubb saw a plant that was quite out of place.

A single buttercup in a pile of faeces.

Mr Grubb tore it up into a thousand pieces.

For fuck's sake.

Here we go. Morning!

Hard-working boys. That's what I like to see.

Brought us a nice brew, Mrs Flower?

Cheeky, what makes you say that?

Yes, I have, you little sneaks.

Thanks, Mrs Flower. Nice.

Morning, Deborah.

Gosh, you're like a pack of wolves.

Morning, Deborah.

Morning, Barry.

Tommy, haven't you got big hands.

You look radiant this morning.

Come on, young Ryan, so handsome.

So, she's got you building a wall now.

Yeah, it doesn't seem necessary to me, personally.

But what Mrs Beckett wants, Mrs Beckett gets.

Why has she got you to start it right here, right next to our garden?

We don't make the decisions. We just do as she says.

Dredge the pond, kill the chickens...

Okay, well, nice to see you boys, bye-bye.

Lovely cakes, Mrs Flower.

Filthy. I'll have to take out a restraining order.

See you later.

Big pile of wood there.

Blood.

Are you all right, Deborah?

Way too morose. Yeah, I mean, it's for kids.

I understand. It is for kids, yes.

I'll lighten up chapter one,

and maybe the fart pigeons are better than the collywobblers, yeah.

How's Shun?

Shun has been getting on with the illustrations, yes.

And, as I say, obviously, I do have a plot,

it's just when you suddenly say, "Can you tell me what it is?"

I need to see something by next week.

Next week? Not a problem.

Okay. Okay.

Bye. Yeah, thanks for your help.

Thanks. Bye. Bye.

Mr Flowers. Thank you, Shun.

You don't have to bow.

Miso soup.

Me so grateful.

Very good. Very powerful.

Yes. Idea for comic book.

Tarantula Woman. Tarantula Woman.

Mr Gay. Mr Gay.

And that's his erection?

Yes, of course, Mr Gay is always have erection.

His weakness, actually. Very sensitive.

Tarantula Woman is try have sex with a lot of gay guy.

Mr Gay protect.

"Go away, Tarantula Woman! Have sex with hetero guy!"

"Gay power!"

Gay power. Good morning!

Mrs Flowers.

Hello, Shun. Yes, exactly.

Mrs Flowers, your leg!

Please don't mind. Can I have a word? Please. Please.

Yeah. Thank you.

Probably she has to take a magic potion

for make fantastic face so beautiful.

Thank you, Shun.

Actually, don't worry about that.

No problem.

Leg so big, Mrs Flowers. Strong!

Very big leg.

Thank you, sorry. Actually, do you mind?

No problem.

No. Do you mind? As in, leaving?

All finished.

I will make food for anniversary!

Very delicious, very clever.

Good luck. See you in a mo.

Thank you. Yes, in a mo, that's right.

His English is coming on, isn't it? Yeah.

Let's go! Anniversary party!

It's lovely that you two are such good friends.

Happy anniversary.

Yes, happy anniversary to you, too.

That's what I wanted to talk to you about, actually.

I assume we won't be going ahead with the party, now that no one is coming.

Actually, I was thinking,

and it's no big deal, obviously, but there are

still some people we haven't asked yet.

The Becketts, for example.

The Becketts are racists.

Or Martin then, or that man, Bill, who used to come around.

Bill.

The postman?

Yes, he was the postman, wasn't he? You're right.

I think so, yeah. I just thought we should try to...

I mean, for the twins, or for your mother's sake.

My mother thinks everyone is a plumber called James.

So you're saying you'd prefer not to bother.

No, I'm just saying that it might be overall less stressful

if we didn't invite some racists and a postman to our house.

So you'd prefer not to?

I'm not saying that.

We've done such a good job with the twins, haven't we?

I mean, it's a good sign they still want to live at home even though they're 25.

I mean, we're good parents, aren't we?

Yes. Yes, we are.

I, for one, am very happy with our sexual freedom that we both have.

And, I mean, I'm really making the most of it.

Seriously "for," you know.

We don't want to be too happy. We're not mad.

But, you know, on the other hand,

also, you can't have too much of a good thing, by which I mean joy.

So you want me to see who else is around who we missed out?

Thank you, Maurice.

And I know we don't usually, but I thought for a change.

- Sorry. - No, thank you.

"No, thank you." Sorry, I thought... No.

Don't apologise. Yes, thank you for the present.

I see, right. Great.

Thoughtful. Shall I? No.

Don't bother, I'd throw it away. It's rubbish.

And a free DVD.

Yeah, I thought you'd find it funny because of his tie.

Yeah. Yeah.

I hope you didn't get me anything.

No. I didn't want to...

Of course I got you something.

Got you. I got you this. Maurice, you didn't have to.

Goodness. It's for me?

Yeah.

Did you get Shun to...

Yeah, I commissioned Shun to do it.

I like how her breasts and his...

Yeah, I thought you might enjoy the...

The penis.

Yeah.

Wow, and it just goes to show

what an exciting place we're at. Yes.

You know, that we can get each other such challenging gifts.

That's right.

And it shows how open-minded we are about sex.

Art. Art. Art. That's what I mean. Art.

Goodness, that'll be Hugo, he's been quite peculiar since the divorce.

Mrs Flowers! Trombonist is here!

Yes, thank you, Shun. Coming!

You not like?

Oh, no, I do like. I love it. And I love you, Shun.

Do I? Yes, why not.

I love you, obviously. I make coffee!

Hello, Hugo. How are we?

I don't want to play trombone, I'm sad.

Oh, dear. Well, let's try some sight reading, shall we?

- See if we can cheer you up a bit. - Sorry, Deborah.

No, don't worry. He's probably just upset about your divorce.

Thanks.

Abigail. Abigail. Abigail. Abigail. Abigail!

Hi, Donald.

What are you doing?

Going for a run.

Cool. Yeah, nice one.

I'm just tweaking the design of a new invention.

Then I'm heading into town to buy shitloads of cheese.

We're having a party, later, if you want to come.

Parents' anniversary.

Funny coincidence, us bumping into each other here, don't you think?

It's the third time this week.

What do you think it means?

Destiny.

Milk, milk, milk...

Donald!

High five, we are friends! Get away from me.

You should try making a real coffee.

Use my Ubercaf. Eight times the strength

of a normal coffee, half the beans.

Yeah.

Gourmet.

Very good, Donald.

Mr Flowers. Creamy.

I'll have one of those in a sec.

You should try my Ubercaf, Dad.

Sent the design off a few months ago, just waiting to hear back.

No, thanks, Donald.

I'm just going to have a normal coffee, if it's all right.

What's this?

It's my Fromage Fumigating Fondue Machine.

Very good. Little bit big for the table, if you could move it.

Why is the tree broken?

Probably Amy climbing up it or something.

"Look at me, I'm in a tree, I'm so weird." Yeah, well, guess what?

You're also fat, because the tree is broken.