200 Cigarettes

He's so fine he can't be beat

He's got everything that I desire

Sets the summer sun on fire

I want candy

I want candy

Go to see him when the sun goes down

Ain't no finer boy in town

You're my guy You're what the doctor ordered

So sweet you make my mouth water

I want candy

I want candy

Candy on the beach there's nothin' better

But I like candy when it's wrapped in a sweater

Someday soon I'll make you mine

Then I'll have candy all the time

I want candy

I want candy

I want candy

I want candy

Hey

Hey

Hey

Hey

Hey

Cabbie: Talk to me, Kool, baby. Mmm!

There ain't a party in New York City

that can beat this right here, baby--

Good music. I'm loose, I'm feelin' it.

Oh, yeah, this is the life, baby.

This is definitely the life.

Kevin: Crank it!

Lucy: You missed St. Mark's.

Don't worry, baby. I'm gonna swing around right here.

- Oh, look out. -

Stop honking.

Tonight

Everything's gonna be all right

This is your night tonight

Everything's gonna be all right

This is your night tonight

Everything's gonna be all right

This is your night tonight

Gonna shake it on the loose and crank it up

Gonna crank it in my mind

Gonna crank it up, man

Whoo!

Hey, man, you feel that vibe right there?

You see, now, that's what New Year's Eve is all about.

You can feel the fun like electricity.

Yeah!

New Year's Eve is so great!

It's like everyone just says, "Hey, man"

Baby, is your friend gonna be all right back there?

- He's fine. - Whoo!

You're my friend because we, as a people, are one,

and we enjoy various kinds of food.

You know what it is? His girlfriend

- Driver: Shut up, you fuckhead! - dumped him last night,

and I think he's a little bummed.

Yeah, I'm bummed out 'cause now you're draggin' me

to some stupid fuckin' New Year's Eve party,

and it's my birthday.

Well, happy birthday, Doctor.

How perfect is that?

You didn't wanna celebrate your birthday.

Crank it up, would you?

Crank it.

Because I would've thrown you a party, Kevin.

I don't want a party, Lucy.

- I mean, I wanna party. - There you go.

I just don't want a party.

Oh, my God. You do this...

every year!

Every year, you do this.

You ruin a perfectly good holiday

with your stupid birthday bullshit.

Well, I'm sorry that it's my birthday.

Believe me.

I'm sorry that I was born at all.

Oh, fuck you.

Fuck you.

Well, fuck both y'all. That's what I say.

Fuckin' crank it.

Will you pull over? Over here.

Right there. - All right, baby. Hold on.

[ Our Lips Are Sealed By The Go-Gos Playing ]

Crab dip.

Am I insane?

Wh-What was I thinking? What?

Do you realize I got this recipe off a box of cream cheese.

Ugh! I don't even recognize myself anymore.

You know, I hate parties.

I hate going to them, and I hate giving them.

At least when I'm going to them,

I'm not responsible for how horrible they are.

And this one's gonna be the worst.

I can feel it. No one's coming.

No... No... The losers will be here.

All the people I hate will be here.

All my ex-boyfriends

and their new, more-attractive girlfriends will be here.

Throwing a party-- it's like--

it's like an invitation for abuse.

It's like the last desperate act of someone

who hasn't had a lasting relationship

since Junior High.

You dated in Junior High?

Why am I doing this?

Why am I subjecting myself to this?

God, I think I'm gonna be sick.

Oh, hey, main man,

there's no smokin' in my cab, all right?

What are you talking about? You're smoking.

I ain't smokin' what you smokin'.

That's great.

Hey, main man,

you need to relax.

I been listening to you, buddy.

You way too uptight.

You gotta look around you.

Everybody's having fun out here.

They drinkin', they fightin',

they pissin' on the streets.

It's New Year's Eve. They lovin' the ladies.

A lady go out on New Year's Eve,

she ain't tryin' to carry a burden.

She tryin' to let one go.

Wanna know how I succeed?

Not really, no.

I'll tell you what I do.

See, first of all, bro, you gotta smile...

like this here.

Do that a lot. Bitches love that kinda thing.

They love happiness, right?

Now, number two

Number two, this is very important.

Don't talk about death.

Everybody knows they're gonna die, baby.

Nobody wanna hear it from you, you dig?

And number three and this gonna get you

some booty right here-- You listening?

You feel me?

Music makes booty spin 'round, baby.

Pretty lady

You brought me in from out the rain

Yeah - Baby

My life will never be the same

Once I was filled with desperation

A solitary man

Here.

What's this?

It's your present, fuckhead. Open it.

Mm!

Happy birthday!

There you go, heh heh heh!

Smoke up!

Cabbie: All right, let's get this party rollin', baby!

Just promise we won't go past Avenue "A."

How many times I gotta tell you?

We're not going there.

I'm serious, Val. I knew a girl...

who got raped on "B."

OK, OK. We're not going on "B," OK?

It's so cool that we are hanging out

with the bands on New Year's Eve.

- When are we meeting them? - I told you. After the party.

So, what about this party? Are there gonna be any guys there?

Does your cousin know any guys?

She knows guys, but they're weird like her.

Hey! - That's OK.

I like weird guys.

I can get into that shit.

So where's this party, Soho?

- Noho. - Noho? I thought you said Soho.

No. I said Noho.

That's not even a real place.

They just made that up.

That's not even on the map or nothin'.

Well, excuse me, OK? Wherever it is, it's right up ahead.

I love the East Village. It is so cool.

I mean, all the cool people live here!

- Wait a minute. - What?

I thought this was the place.

This shithole?

Yeah. This is the address she gave me.

- You're shittin' me. - No!

This is the address I wrote down.

So call her up.

I don't have her number.

What the fuck you carrying around in that pocketbook?

A fuckin' Encyclopedia Britannica?

I got makeup and shit in there.

Makeup and shit? That's just great.

We're totally fucked on New Year's Eve

with a pocketbook full of makeup

- and this shithole building address. - What should we do?

There's nothing we can do. We're fucked.

Look, I'll call a and see if she's listed.

All right?

You got a dime?