The Simpsons

Krusty, bubbeleh, take it easy, this is a great booking.

Don't bubbeleh me, boychik.

Entertaining the kids at Kelly Clark son's housewarming.

It's not my fault you lost all your money on NFTs...

Non-funny TV shows.

Now get to work, you're behind on your Cameos.

Hey, hey, Jacob!

Your dad's super-sad he couldn't make it to your bar mitzvah.

It's a real shonda.

Also, all the best from Dad's new wife, Shonda.

Oh...

Thank you so much for doing this, Krusty.

Kelly really appreciates it.

And the children are all huge fans. Right, kids?

- Mm-hmm. - Totally. - Yeah, we love you, Crisco.

Oh, what's that Kelly Clarks on got that I don't?

We all won singing contests 20 years ago.

Oh, where's my infinity toilet?

Oh, that toilet isn't from American Idol money.

You're looking at daytime-syndicated

talk show wealth.

See those mega mansions?

Well, they belong to the superstars of daytime TV:

-Rachael Ray, Wendy Williams, -Hey, hey. Hey, hey.

And that jerk Doctor Phil.

All bought and paid for with syndicated megabucks.

I see something in you, Krusty.

Oh, I was gonna put it back.

You have daytime chops.

There's always a place on TV for a Regis...

A cranky but lovable, sexless grandpa.

Yeah, and what makes you the expert?

Here's the real test. Get that mom squad dancing.

Daytime audiences love to dance.

Forget it, lady. I still got my dignity.

Hey, wait.

Mm...

Hey, hey, Bryson!

Your mom wanted me to congratulate you on...

getting your braces tightened.

Make up a rap about it?

Look, fine, I'll dance.

What's taking so long?

All this food I can't eat is taunting me.

I read that grain-free is supposed to be good.

Or was it grain-full?

Mom, can we get a gecko?

I want a guinea pig.

How about both in one cage, and see what happens?

- No, no, no. - Yeah, please, mom?

- Please, come on, a gecko and a guinea pig. - No! Why would we...

Marge, honestly, is this how you pictured your life?

I think not.

Yes, I lick my behind. Big surprise.

Excuse me, would you like to come participate

in a focus group?

Yes, anything but this.

Just pick a food.

Oh...

We want to know what you want in your daytime programming.

There are no wrong answers and no bad ideas.

In that case, recipes.

Sure.

Air-fryer recipes.

Celebrities come on the show?

Well, yes, obviously, but...

Put it on the board, then.

Uh, I was thinking...

Something with vacuums.

Shiny coat or liver support?

Why are they doing this to us?

- Hats? - What about hats, Helen?

Maybe...

babies wearing hats?

And it's a whole baby hat fashion show?

- Exactly. Exactly. - Oh, yeah, there you go. - Ooh.

That's not bad.

And you know how there are just too many

dog food options these days?

What if you brought out Instagram dogs

and had them do a taste test?

Wow! Well, that's really good.

What other ideas do you have?

Candle unboxing and sniffing.

Celebrities read nice tweets about other celebrities.

Unexpected jack-o'-lanterns.

Funny bed-making fails.

And...

tweens explain TikToks to carpool moms.

Eh?

You're a natural. You've got nice ideas

coming out the wazoo.

You know, I'm in the market for a new segment producer.

You are?

Will you excuse me for a second?

Jerry, you're fired.

I'm... I'm free.

Segment producer?

I don't know. I-I should probably

talk it over with my family.

I'll take the job.

Be warned, segment producer.

No one makes it out of these shows unchanged.

Oh, well, then it's a good thing I'm not much of a changer.

You can keep your job or you can keep your soul,

but you can't keep both.

Also, when you turn in your receipts,

break them down between dining and mileage

or you'll await the reimbursements...

forever!

So this is behind the scenes of a TV show.

So much hustle.

And bustle.

Mm... mm.

This is your desk.

And this is where you can pin all your genius segment ideas.

With five shows a week, it's very important

that you always be thinking up segments.

A daytime talk show without

fun and interesting segments is like a...

You, finish my metaphor.

Uh, um...

Get me a baked potato

so I can throw it at your head.

Now!

Okay, I'll leave you to it.

Oh, I-I don't need to order lunch.

My kids packed mine as a special treat for my first day.

Aw.

Hmm. Maybe I will take a look at that menu.

Can I order you something, um... What-what's your name?

Uh, to make it simpler for the producers,

we're-we're all named Jordan.

I should've ordered some salad

to go with my salad toppings.

Mm.

Oh.

What the hell is this?

You people didn't write me any jokes.

You don't need jokes. The women in our audience

are just happy to be out of the house.

They want to dance to clean versions of Pitbull songs

and go home with a free copy of a Real Housewives memoir.

Your only job is just be nice.

It's all about nice.

Did you just make eye contact with the host?

No, I would never!

- Aah! - Oh!

Ladies and gay friends, I'm MC Hairbone,

the funkiest daytime DJ in the world.

Get on your feet for your newest, non-threatening-est

king of late morning or early afternoon

depending on your local market and time zone:

Krusty!

Look at this.

I already got a wardrobe malfunction.

That's the kind of joke we get.

Ah.

Oh, my God, this is my first segment.

I hope people like it, Jordan.

Look at this guy. He's saying,

"I'm gonna wrangle me up a nap."

These are my people.

And they're raising the roof for my idea.

Can you believe we get paid for this?

We don't.

Bart, you're taking this really well.

I'd have thought you'd be hatching some scheme

to get the old Krusty show back.

Why would I do that?

I've got my favorite Krusty episodes right here.

More than 700 of 'em.

Hm, kind of makes you think.

Once you have enough episodes of any classic show,

why do you need to keep making more?

Well, the reason is...

Shh. Watching classic Krusty.

Oh, it's just so easy.

I don't have to be funny anymore.

I just have to be nice.

It's the greatest grift I've ever done.

I'm gonna go buy some cars.

- Mm... - You did a great job today, Marge.

You know, we women have to stick together in this business.

But I also want you to never quite be sure

where you stand with me, and just have

a general sense of unease about my intentions.

Does that make sense?

I think so.

Great.

Okay, everybody, conference room.

Pitch meeting for tomorrow.

You, plaid shirt.

Not you. Plaid shirt, tall. Yeah.

Bring the binder of dinner menus.