Ernest Saves Christmas

* DECK THE HALL WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY *

* FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA *

* 'TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY *

* FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA *

* DON WE NOW OUR GAY APPAREL *

* FA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA *

* TROLL THE ANCIENT YULETIDE CAROL *

* FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA **

* HERE WE COME A-WASSAILING *

* AMONG THE LEAVES SO GREEN *

* HERE WE COME A-WANDERING *

* SO FAIR TO BE SEEN *

* LOVE AND JOY COME TO YOU *

* AND TO YOU YOUR WASSAIL, TOO *

* AND GOD BLESS YOU

* AND SEND YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR *

* AND GOD SEND YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR *

* GOD BLESS THE MASTER OF THIS HOUSE *

* LIKEWISE THE MISTRESS TOO *

* AND ALL THE LITTLE CHILDREN *

* THAT 'ROUND THE TABLE GO *

* LOVE AND JOY COME TO YOU *

* AND TO YOU YOUR WASSAIL, TOO *

* AND GOD BLESS YOU

* AND SEND YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR *

* AND GOD SEND YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR **

* OH, CHRISTMAS TREE

* OH, CHRISTMAS TREE

* THOU TREE MOST FAIR AND LOVELY *

* OH, CHRISTMAS TREE

* OH, CHRISTMAS TREE

* THOU TREE MOST FAIR AND LOVELY *

* A SIGN OF PEACE AT CHRISTMAS TIME *

* SPREADS HOPE AND GLADNESS FAR AND WIDE *

* OH, CHRISTMAS TREE

* OH, CHRISTMAS TREE

* THOU TREE MOST FAIR AND LOVELY **

FIRST TIME IN ORLANDO ? OH, NO.

I FLY IN ONCE A YEAR.

OF COURSE, I USUALLY COME IN A DIFFERENT WAY.

WHERE ARE YOU FROM ? UP NORTH.

ME, TOO. TORONTO.

REALLY ?

WHAT LINE OF WORK ARE YOU IN ? TOYS, MOSTLY.

NO FOOLING ? YOU BEEN IN IT LONG ?

LONGER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE. I HEAR THAT.

PRISCILLA, COME BACK HERE.

YOU HERE ON BUSINESS ?

I'M HERE TO APPOINT A REPLACEMENT;

SOMEONE TO TAKE OVER MY DUTIES.

UNFORTUNATELY, A PERSON WITH THE RIGHT QUALIFICATIONS ...

IS DIFFICULT TO FIND.

WELL, IT'S A SMART COOKIE ...

WHO KNOWS WHEN TO HANG UP THE OLD CLEATS.

OH, IT'S TIME.

I'M AFRAID I REALLY SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS LAST YEAR.

I DON'T THINK I'VE QUITE ...

GOT THE MAGIC FOR ANOTHER TRIP.

THAT'S HOW I FEEL EVERY TIME THEY SEND ME TO PITTSBURGH.

YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I COULD REMEMBER ...

EVERY NAME ON MY LIST.

A LOT OF CONTACTS ? OH, ALL OVER THE WORLD.

NOW I HAVE TROUBLE RECALLING ...

WHO WAS NAUGHTY AND WHO WAS NICE;

WHO ASKED FOR A TOY TRUCK,

AND WHO WANTED A BICYCLE.

SOUNDS LIKE A DATABASE PROBLEM.

* OH, CHRISTMAS TREE

* OH, CHRISTMAS TREE

* OH, CHRISTMAS TREE, OH, CHRISTMAS TREE *

* OH, CHRISTMAS TREE, OH, CHRISTMAS TREE *

* OH, CHRISTMAS TREE, OH, CHRISTMAS TREE *

* OH, CHRISTMAS TREE --

HEY, BUDDY, HURRY UP ! I GOTTA GET TO THE AIRPORT.

DON'T WORRY, MISTER. WE'LL MAKE THAT PLANE.

I HAVE LIVED MY LIFE IN THE FAST LANE.

I HAVE AN ALMOST SUPERNATURAL FEEL ...

FOR THE ROAD BENEATH MY TIRES.

HA, HA ! THRILL DRIVER !

REMINDS ME OF MY OLD DAYS ...

ON THE "FIGURE 8" TRACK.

"IN CAR 9, IT'S ERNEST P. WORRELL, THE SCREAMIN' DEMON !

HE'S GOING FOR HIS SECOND TRACK RECORD TONIGHT !"

WHOA !

WHOA !

WHOAAAA !

I TOLD HIM ABOUT THAT SEAT BELT.

HEY MISTER, YOU CAN'T GET OUT HERE !

FUN IS FUN, BUT YOU'VE GOT A PLANE TO CATCH !

NICE BAG. GUCCI ?

GUNNY ! GET IT ?

NEXT IN LINE.

I HATE THIS JOB.

IS SOMETHING WRONG ?

IS THIS YOUR REAL NAME ?

IT'S THE NAME I'M KNOWN BY, YES.

SURE.

WHY NOT ?

THANKS, SKIPPY.

WE'LL CATCH THAT PLANE, MISTER.

WE'LL MAKE IT. DON'T WORRY.

WE'LL BE AIRBORNE BEFORE YOU KNOW IT.

AHHHH !

HEY, YOU !

TOUCH DOWN !

IT'S NOT MY FAULT !

WELL SIR, I THINK WE MADE IT.

YOU'RE GONNA MAKE THAT FLIGHT AFTER ALL.

COME ON, MISTER,

THIS IS NO TIME TO TAKE A NAP.

YOU'RE GONNA MISS YOUR FLIGHT.

YES, SIR, WHEN IT COMES TO DRIVING SKILLS,

NOBODY CAN BEAT ERNEST P. WORRELL.

UH-OH.

YES, SIR, CURB TO COUNTER.

IT'S HIM !

JUST A LITTLE EXTRA SERVICE US INDEPENDENTS HAVE TO DO ...

TO KEEP UP WITH THE BIG GUYS.

WHOA ! YOU FORGOT YOUR CARRY-ON.

HERE, YOU'LL NEED A JACKET.

YOU'D BETTER TAKE THIS OTHER SUITCASE.

HAVE A NICE DAY !

WHAT A PLACE.

CHRISTMAS TIME, AND IT'S 80 DEGREES.

YES, I'M USED TO A COLDER CLIMATE MYSELF.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'D REALLY LIKE FOR CHRISTMAS ?

SNOW. SNOW ?

I COULD HAVE SWORN YOU WANTED A C-D PLAYER.

I'D BETTER MAKE A NOTE OF THAT.

THERE'S MY WIFE. I'VE GOT TO GO.

ARE YOU GOING TO BE OKAY ? IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU.

I'VE MADE A NOTE ABOUT THAT SNOW.

TAXI !

MISTER, I'M A TAXI.

HERE, YOU GOT ONE.

I'LL TAKE THOSE.

WHERE TO ?

ORLANDO CHILDREN'S MUSEUM.

HEY, COME BACK HERE !

HA ! HA !

BOBBY, WE'VE GOT 9 CRATES ON HOLD,

AND THEY'VE GOT TO BE PICKED UP ON THE 24th.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT !

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND ...

WOULD BE WORKING ON THE 24th ?

THAT'S CHRISTMAS EVE.

I'LL TELL YOU WHO.

"WE" WHO, THAT'S WHO.

RAIN, SLEET, HAIL, THE SUPER BOWL,

THE 4th OF JULY.

BOBBY, IF IT WEREN'T FOR US,

THIS AIRLINE WOULD NEVER GET OFF THE GROUND.

AIN'T THAT RIGHT, BOBBY ?

I GUESS IF YOU WANT THINGS DONE RIGHT,

YOU GOTTA DO IT YOURSELF.

YO, BOB !

BREAK'S OVER.

SUN GETTIN' TO YOU ?

YES, IT'S NOT AS BRIGHT AT NIGHT.

I'M USUALLY HERE AT NIGHT.

HERE YOU GO. I ALWAYS KEEP AN EXTRA PAIR.

OH, THANK YOU, ERNEST.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO INSULT YOU OR NOTHIN',

BUT DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU REMIND ME OF ? SANTA CLAUS ?

I GUESS YOU HEAR THAT A LOT.

OH, YES. BUT THEN, IT'S TO BE EXPECTED.

BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE HIM ?

BECAUSE I AM HIM.

BECAUSE YOU "AM" HIM.

WELL, HOW ABOUT THAT ?

YEAH.

AHHH. SMELL THOSE CHRISTMAS TREES.

YOU CAN KEEP YOUR "CHANNEL" NUMBER 5.

JUST GIVE ME A WHIFF OF THE OLD LONESOME PINE;

THAT SYMBOL OF BROTHERLY LOVE,

THAT CENTERPIECE THAT ALL MANKIND GATHERS AROUND ...

TO SHARE THE CRANBERRY SAUCE SHAPED LIKE A CAN.

AHHH !

WHOA, LITTLE TREE !

STAY CALM, TANNENBAUM, I'LL GET YOU OUT OF THIS.

WHOA !

EVEN IN EMERGENCY SITUATIONS,

ALWAYS FOLLOW SAFE DRIVING RULES.

YOU'LL NOTICE THAT I AM USING MY EMERGENCY SIGNAL INDICATORS,

WHEN IN REVERSE.

HA ! HA !

WHOA !

OPEN UP !

HERE, HOLD THIS A MINUTE.

THEY REALLY BUNCH UP AT THIS EXIT.

KNOW WHAT I MEAN ?

I TAKE IT YOU REALLY NEEDED A TREE ?

NO, I'VE ALREADY GOT ONE,

BUT I'VE GOT A FRIEND WHO COULD USE IT.

BESIDES, IT'D BE A SHAME FOR IT TO BE ALONE ON CHRISTMAS.

IT'S NICE TO FIND SOMEBODY ...

WITH SUCH DEVOTION TO CHRISTMAS.