Lake Artifact

Please, please, please.

Yeah, every season.

They ping a ton of that stuff out of there,

it's all evasive, but we'll make sure we get it out.

You know what?

Yeah, it's just fine, just fine.

What we'll do is, I can be over there

about three o'clock today, does that work?

Be over there at three?

That's great, talk to you later.

So, hey guys.

What's up?

- Hello, do you want me to sit here?

Yeah, this won't take too long, will it?

Because I've got a lot to do today.

Just let me know when you're rolling.

Hi, my name is Brian Leverman,

I am a town councilman for Paradox Lake, New York.

Hi, my name is Debra Keller.

I am executive director of the Hand of God.

Welcome.

So, what do you want to know?

Paradox Lake is a small community,

only a few miles long,

but we've got a lot going on.

We've got a couple of restaurants,

there's a brewery, got camps that run all year round.

There is, of course, the lovely lake

where people go swimming, fishing, camping.

Um, I guess I should ask.

I hope you don't mind if I eat during this,

I really get a little loopy

if I go more than a couple hours without eating.

Oh, great.

Wonderful.

Are you sure?

My name is Dr. Albert Clarkson,

and I'm a historian specializing in American cults,

specifically from, say, the 1940s to the 1970s.

How was that, was that okay?

Good, good.

So, um, what kind of movie are you making?

Oh, you mean the Hand of God?

The Hand of God is one of the staples in the area.

They run youth summer camps

and provide our faith based community

a place to find God.

- Oh, honey, it's the Hand of God.

Of course.

The Hand of God creates faith defining experiences

that give young people and families

the opportunity to encounter God,

and to grow in their spiritual walks of life.

Hand of One is nonsense.

It's an urban legend.

As far as I know, there have never been any cults

that have lived in the area.

- The whole origin story is a complete fabrication

made up as an excuse to discriminate

against our organization.

We are now, and always have been,

a peaceful society.

Oh wow, man.

You picked a good one.

Wait a second.

I really like this, this is gonna be fun.

Okay, here we go, here we go.

The Hand of One originally started around 1953

by a man named Vernon Korsch.

Now, Vernon was a young mechanic

from the Albany region.

I mean, he was said to be normal, you know,

a bit of a drinker,

before having an encounter with this young woman

named Meredith Parlor in the Adirondack town

of Schroon Lake.

Vernon claimed that this woman

had some supernatural abilities,

and that she would grant him the chance at eternal life

in exchange for a sacrifice.

Now, after a few years,

Vernon really became obsessed with the idea,

and then in August of 1953,

he began recruiting for the Hand of One.

He got 20 men who would compete

in a three day survival test.

The last man remaining would be deemed the chosen one.

Back in October of 1953,

it was a bloodbath.

What up!

Kip.

Yeah?

Where are we going?

We are gonna go to--

Moon Lake.

Why is everyone talking?

- Hey! - What's up?

Oh, I thought--

Grace.

I didn't real--

You're so pretty.

Best boyfriend in the world.

Yeah, yeah, hey, hey.

Whoa, whoa!

- And he finds out that not only has Thomas Wayne

taken over the role of Batman,

well it's more like a Batman with big guns and shit,

but he also finds out--

Can we really take it easy

with the Snapchat stories this weekend?

- Come on, how is that any different

from me taking pictures all the time?

- How is Snapchat different than photography?

Photography?

Yeah.

- Dude, I started taking pictures

of our freakin' car accident the other day.

- You know, just for everyone's sanity,

I'm not gonna to go into it all right now,

but trust me...

Okay.

Ugh!

What is it you do again?

What?

I'm an entrepreneur!

Right.

Hey, man!

Don't question that shit.

You can find me, Tommy123Hotstuff5.

That's right, ladies love Tommy D, baby!

- This Adirondack moon house on Moon Lake.

Schroon Lake, baby.

- It's just like, it keeps giving me weird directions,

it keeps getting off, and turning around,

I'm confused.

- Did you book somewhere without WiFi?

No, I would never do that.

- Did you book somewhere without service?

- If we get here, dude, and we ain't got no damn signal...

I don't know what's gonna happen,

but something's gonna happen.

Well, whatever.

Do you think you can find the place at least?

- There's no way, maybe break out

the old paper map here.

Yeah, actually, Tommy,

can you get the paper map?

- Are you fucking kidding me?

- Yeah, sure, let me pull it out my ass.

Ya'll don't do that?

- What are you talking about?

Cancel out the noise.

What noise?

The white noise.

Hey, got ya!

- The beautiful Adirondacks.

Lonely, so peaceful.

Got to take a piss.

On a scale of one to 10, that's a 10, 10!

- Wait, Tommy, do you have to pee?

Yeah, I have to pee.

- Why didn't you just say something earlier,

I mean--

Well, I did, man!

I've been saying it for miles!

How much further?

- Ladies and gentlemen, here's our turn.

Woo!

Oh my God!

- Thank God, 'cause I have to piss.

Tommy, you have to pee?

You hear that?

- You think we can make it?

I'd rather check.

Here's your chance to empty your bladders.

Only gotta tell me once.

There's bears out there.

What's wrong with it?

I think it's the alternator.

Do you have service?

Mm...

Negative.

Grace?

No, sorry.

So, how are you doing?

I'm fine.

Why?

No, I was just checking.

You know, I'm glad you decided to come.

Yeah, I'm glad too.

Yeah, it'll be fun.

I just have to pee.

Hey, go in the woods.

I will stand guard.

Uh, no, I'll wait.

- You won't get anything out here, I've tried.

Uh, thanks.