Faking It

Previously on Faking It...

My stupid daddy had to sign up for Christian mingle

and fall for a weather girl.

I'm not thrilled our parents are engaged either,

but don't piss me off.

I can't stand not talking. Please call me back.

Why don't you just tell her how you feel?

She's been my best friend since kindergarten.

There's something going on between Karma and Liam.

- I'm ready. - I'm sorry, I can't.

Karma... Jeez!

Cookie dough, four types of cake frosting...

and, oh, what's this?

All five "Twilight" movies on DVD. Hmm.

Shut up. Girls weekend?

I miss "Just Us" time.

I feel like I've hardly seen you since we became a couple.

It's definitely changed things.

But this weekend isn't good.

It's my mom's lame bridal shower.

- Save yourself. - From what?

Eating crab cakes and making fun of people with my best friend?

And I promise, no talking about school,

lesbians, or Liam Booker.

- Can you handle the withdrawal? - Ha ha ha, very funny.

And there's nothing to talk about.

- It's over between us. - We could talk about that.

Mm, nope, just wanna spend the weekend

laughing at your stupid fart jokes.

I didn't even know your phone had an off setting.

I am that serious.

The next 48 hours are all about you and me.

I'll go get the knives. That frosting won't eat itself.

- Amazing, huh? - Yeah.

Just this morning, this looked like a kitchen.

Now it's Martha Stewart's prison cell. What happened?

It's her bridal shower, not her 90th birthday.

Don't call back till it's right.

I don't know how I would have handled all of this without you.

Not another word, everything will be perfect.

You deserve nothing less. Bring it in.

Aw. (LAUGHS)

- No freaking way. - Amy, didn't notice you there.

With all those earth tones, you blend right in.

Lauren has been organizing your shower?

And she's got a real gift for it.

I could have helped.

Well, honey, you've been busy with Karma.

But don't worry, Lauren stepped up in a big way.

She even ordered a croquembouche.

A what?

Hello? A croquembouche?

It's only the hottest, most of-the-moment dessert.

"InStyle" did a whole spread on them.

- I must have missed that. - Oh, Farrah,

I'm picking up the croquembouche tomorrow.

It's from Tres Jolie in Dallas.

There's usually a six-week waiting list,

but the owner's a family friend.

Okay, have fun with your croquey thingy,

and I'll see you at the shower.

I'll be bringing Karma. She's staying over.

You know, I'm not sure it's appropriate

if Amy's girlfriend stays over for the shower.

You know, it might make our guests uncomfortable.

- Huh. - What is happening?

I mean, I wouldn't be allowed

to have a boyfriend stay over, would I?

It's a bit of a double standard.

I've met your boyfriend. Clearly, you have no standards.

Amy, that's enough.

Uh, Karma can stay,

but I want you two to help Lauren out with the shower.

Uh, no need. I've got everything covered.

Why don't they keep you company on that trip to Dallas?

Oh, it'll give you two a chance to bond.

I mean, after all, soon you'll be sisters.

But... - I'm the bride!

- (CAR HORNS HONKING) - (...) Dallas traffic!

This wouldn't be happening if you hadn't insisted

on waiting until the end of your stupid show.

We had to find out if she said yes to the dress.

It's kind of the whole point.

And you're the one who wanted to go all the way to Dallas.

Don't they make these cakes back in Austin?

Again, it's not a cake, it's a croquembouche,

and Tres Jolie is the finest bakery in the state.

Wow.

You've really gone all out. Too bad it's for nothing.

What are you talking about?

I know you're just sucking up to my mom to make me jealous,

and I couldn't care less.

Please.

I don't need schemes to make you jealous... just a mirror.

Okay, who wants to play 20 questions?

I love 20 questions. What a game.

You are a pretentious little...

What are you doing?

I just want to have fun together.

- (SIGHS) - Play 20 questions with me.

Please?

Okay.

- Got one. - Is it someone you hate?

Mm-hmm.

- Matthew McConaughey. - Mm-mm.

Uh, Bristol Palin.

Come on, get your head in the game.

Judi Dench!

- Finally. - Yes!

Hey, you up for a hunting trip?

Where are we going?

I'm down for anywhere

except for that place with the mechanical bull.

- I'm not allowed back. - Yup, I remember.

- I'm thinking the twain. - You sure?

I'm fine with going to a straight bar.

I find your people's mating ritual very entertaining.

Yeah, but gay bars are always

full of straight girls, fresh off breakups.

The gays are good for the self-esteem.

And I'm good for some mind-blowing rebound sex.

- (SCOFFS) - I'll pick you up in an hour.

Roger that, Romeo.

Wow, you really got a knot right here.

Mm-hmm. Mmm.

You two can stop acting like lesbians now, okay?

I know the truth.

We're not acting like lesbians.

We're acting like best friends.

Please, I was worried you were gonna ask me

to crawl back there and join you for a threesome.

- Ugh, you wish. - Eww.

Ooh, okay, thinking of a person.

Not (BLEEP) 20 questions again.

I think it's so sweet that your best friend is gay.

My ex was such a homophobe.

Yeah, I don't really see gay or straight.

I just see the person.

Aww, that's so sweet!

And look how well your Shane is getting along with my Nate.

That's adorable.

So what's your favorite movie?

My favorite films explore the emotional destruction

caused by 9/11.

You know what?

I just realized my parents are getting divorced,

and I no longer believe in love.

Please excuse me.

I'm so sorry. Excuse me.

Killing me, Shane. Four rip cords?

And always right as I'm about to close.

Have you seen what I'm working with?

They're all tragic.

Do you think it's some sort of theme night?

Yeah, and the theme is "Stop being so picky,

- "and let me score." - Okay.

I'm giving you 20 more minutes, and then we're leav...

Oh, my God, look.

The twins.

We haven't had a twin sighting since...

September 17th, 9:22 PM.

That was when Peter checked me out.

I believe he was checking me out.

No need to argue since he's checking me out right now.

Really? I hadn't noticed.

I'm too busy eye-humping his sister Petra.

Simone! Simone!

It's okay, Lauren.

We have time to get another cake.

Oh! For the last time, it's not a cake,

it's a croquembouche!

Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Love Hewitt,

Halle Berry each had croquembouches at their showers.

I read Kim Kardashian is serving a croquembouche

made out of thousands of tiny croquembouches!

I'm sorry, you just said "Croquembouche,"

like, a hundred times.

You're a horrible person.

No wonder your mother made me her maid of honor.

Oh, Simone, you almost gave me a coronary.

Oh, Lauren, thank God you're here.

They have all these questions.

I've got answers. Now, you just go get ready.

I've got this covered.

Staff meeting in the kitchen now!

Oh, would you look at that?

Isn't it stunning?

No, it's shockingly heavy.

And you made Lauren your maid of honor?

Oh, honey, I was gonna tell you.

I know how you hate doing these girly things.

Lauren loves it.

Doesn't it seem strange to you just how much she loves it?

She couldn't stand you a few weeks ago.

Sure, we got off to a rocky start,

but we've grown really close, and I thought

officially calling her my maid of honor would be

a nice way to show her that she's part of the family now.

Oh, I thought I was doing you a favor.

Farrah, we're live in 15! You should be dressed!