Doctor Who

I'll see you again, mister.

Stop that! Stop it!

What was that all about, eh? Eh?

- What's your problem? - Right, just settle down, now...

- Excuse me. - So sorry.

What?

What?

What?

Who're you?

Oh, brilliant!

I mean, totally wrong.

Big emergency, universe goes bang in five minutes, but... brilliant.

I'm the Doctor. Who are you?

Yes, you are. You are the Doctor.

- Yes, I am. I'm the Doctor. - Oh, good for you, Doctor.

Good for brilliant old you.

Is there something wrong with you?

Oh! There it goes! The frowny face! I remember that one.

Mind you... It's saggier than it ought to be.

Hair's a bit greyer. That's 'cause of me, though.

Two of us together has shorted out the time differential.

It should all snap back in place when we get you home.

Be able to close that coat again. But nevermind that! Look at you!

The hat, the coat, the crickety cricket stuff, the... stick of celery, yeah...

Brave choice, celery.

But fair play to you, not a lot of men can carry off a decorative vegetable.

Shut up!

There is something very wrong with my TARDIS

and I've got to do something about it very, very quickly.

And it would help,

it really would help, if there wasn't some skinny idiot ranting in my face

about every single thing that happens to be in front of him.

Oh, okay. Sorry...

... Doctor.

Thank you.

- Oh, the back of our head! - What?

Sorry, sorry.

It's not something you see every day, is it,

the back of your own head.

Mind you, I can see why you wear a hat.

I don't want to seem vain, but could you keep that on?

What have you done to my TARDIS?

You've changed the desktop theme, haven't you?

What's this one? Coral? It's worse than the leopard skin.

Oh, now they come. The brainy specs!

You don't even need them.

You just think they make you look a bit clever.

That's an alert. Level 5! Indicating a temporal collision!

It's like two TARDISes have merged,

but there's definitely only one TARDIS present.

It's like two time zones at war in the heart of the TARDIS.

That's a paradox.

Could blow a hole in the space-time continuum the size of...

Well, actually, the exact size of... Belgium.

That's a bit undramatic, isn't it? Belgium?

- Need this? - Nah, I'm fine.

Oh, no, of course, you mostly went hand-free, didn't you?

Like, "Hey, I'm the Doctor.

I can save the universe using a kettle and some string.

And look at me, I'm wearing a vegetable."

- Who are you? - Take a look.

- Oh. Oh, no. - Oh, yes...

- You're... oh, no... - Here it comes. Yeah, yeah, I am.

- A fan. - Yeah.

- What? - Level 10 now.

This is bad. Two minutes to Belgium.

What d'you mean, a fan? I'm not just a fan. I'm you!

Okay, you're my biggest fan.

Look, ist perfectly understandable. I go zooming around space and time,

saving planets, fighting monsters and being,

well, let's be honest, pretty sort of marvellous.

So naturally, now and then, people notice me.

Start up their litte groups.