Vexed

Big day for you, Jack. Yeah, how so?

Doesn't your new partner start today?

Oh, Christ, don't remind me.

Why, what's the problem?

You know me, I like working on my own.

Out with old, in with the new, I say, mate.

Keeps you on your toes.

Which is another reason why I hate new partners.

I don't want some fast-tracked know-it-all,

telling me how I should be doing my job.

- Hmm. - I mean, get this, get this.

Right, he's 30 years old and his name is George.

George? Please. My granddad was called George.

He was weird. Bet you a tenner he's got a beard.

Go on then. Make it 20.

OK, OK, but goatees count as beards, right?

Whatever.

So, what do you reckon?

- What is it? - It's a Makihito GT.

- Sweet, huh? - Yeah?

Looks like a cross between a dildo and a vacuum cleaner.

Cutting edge of automotive design, that's what it is.

A hundred and sixty miles per hour top

and there's still space for the weekly shop.

Yeah, but is there room for a hair dryer and curling tongs is what I ask myself.

I'm telling you, Jack, that's not a hairdresser's car.

That's hard core.

Yeah, well, you wouldn't catch me dead in a car like this.

- Catch you later. - See you later, Naz.

Hello?

- Oh. - Hi.

- Hi. - So what do you think?

- Boringly predictable. - In what way?

In every way. I mean, take the boot for instance.

You know, it's such an obvious sexual statement.

- Is it? - Yeah, it's a cry for attention.

"Look at me, aren't I clever?"

Anyway, listen, erm, I'm actually here on duty.

I'm not here to buy a car.

But, er, hey, why don't we, er... Why don't we go get a drink later on?

I'll promise not to make you a suspect

if you promise not to try and sell me a car.

What do you say?

My name is Jack by the way.

Georgina.

DI Georgina Dixon.

Your new partner.

Until the post-mortem, we're working on the assumption

that he died from a blow to the side of the head, just below the cheekbone.

We need some background on the victim.

Name, address, where he worked, are there any possible witnesses.

His name's Carl Mercer, 29 years old, he's a salesman,

he's worked here for two years,

engaged to Debbie Jackson, the receptionist,

her father is head of the service department.

Carl's boss in the sales department is Jeffrey Daniels.

Jeffrey Daniels is waiting to speak to us now.

People think selling is just about the five Ps.

But, ooh, there's more to it than that.

The five Ps? No?

Prospect, presentation, pre-closing, placate and pen.

- Pen? - Sign here, please, sir.

- Oh. - (laughs)

No, no, no. A good salesman gets under the skin of his prospect.

He understands him, thinks like him, breathes like him,

until they are as one.

Now Carl knew how to do that.

That's, er, Newbuck.

Soft as a baby's backside, now available in white.

Very Premiership.

- Did Carl ever have-- - Was there much--

Sorry.

Erm, er, was there much rivalry between the sales team?

Rivalry? Are you kidding? Winning is everything.

It is the oxygen of a sales team.

Carl and Emma were like lions in a cage.

And every time one of them rang the bell

you could see the other one pick up the phone and chase another lead.

The bell?

We like to, er, we like to ring a bell when we make a sale.

- It's erm... - (dings bell)

It marks the moment.

- How far did-- - Did Carl ever have--

- How far did-- - Did Carl ever have any clashes?

How far did the rivalry go?

Ooh.

Now, if you're suggesting that Emma killed him

because he beat her in the monthly revenue targets...

No. No, no, no. Forget it, no.

It was you that found Carl's body, was that right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When Carl didn't show up for an appointment this morning,

I took his prospect out for a test drive.

Had to stick some petrol in the car first.

- It was completely dry. - Why would that be?

We always run them quite low in case they get nicked.

Anyway, the prospect, ah, he loved it.

I had him on the hook for over ten grand's worth of extras.

Carbon brakes, full leather, sat nav, adjustable suspension, the works.

Then we get back from the test drive, he takes one last walk round the car.

Asks me to pop the boot. Boom. Game over.

There's Carl, stiff as a board, staring up at him.

After that, there was no way back.

I tried everything to get the pen in his hand

but he just wasn't having it.

He just... walked away.

Right, well... (clears throat)

- Thank you very much, Mr Daniels. - Thank you.

Right, well, we need to find out who was the last person to leave this place.

- It was Carl. - OK.

Well, we need to check for possible witnesses

and find out whether this place uses a security firm.

They do, but I'm waiting for them to call me back.

CCTV. What's the coverage, did they pick anything up?

Well, the car was parked outside when Mr Daniels arrived this morning,

- but out of view of both cameras. - So the murderer worked here.

Possibly. Or it could just be a coincidence.

- No such thing. - What?

Coincidence. A series of unlikely events

that although accidental seem to have been planned.

Why? Because in a murder investigation, they always have been.

Nonsense. You can't just dismiss

an unlikely but nonetheless possible set of circumstances

on the basis that they've occurred during a murder investigation.

- Yes, I can. - Obviously.

But you'd be discounting a potentially valid line of enquiry

simply because of your discrimination against the notion of chance.

- Sounds like you did a course on this. - As a matter of fact, I have.

Well, let's get back to base for a latte.

Come on.

Oh, great!

- Do you need a lift? - No, I'm fine, thank you. Thanks.

OK. I'll see you back at base?

Yeah, yeah, see you back at base. Yeah.

Thank you.

Come on, come on. One, two three.

So, er, what's he like?

You know, I'm really disappointed in you, Naz.

I think it's... I think it's really unsportsmanlike to take a bet

when you already know the outcome.

Stop bitching and cough up.

Sweet.

Five ingredients. If you can name them all, lunch is on the house.

- You will lose. You have been warned. - (laughs)

Dive in.

Apple juice, apple pulp, definitely Granny Smith,

demerara sugar, twist of lime and I'd say, in a bid to put me off, cinnamon.

Ah, wait a minute. You saw. You saw me.

- Uh-uh. - Actually, that's quite freaky.

Listen, have you got any tips of how I can deal with Jack?

Ah, you gotta feed him cos if you don't, he can be a right grumpy old sod.

Like when he's tired. Ah, he's not very good in the mornings.

OK, that's actually all really useful.

- Bloody car! - Morning, Jack.

Oh, hey. Glad to see you found the base.

I waited for you at the station

until they told me they'd hardly seen you in two years

and where to find you.

- Well, too many cops. I can't think. - Makes perfect sense.

Well, as you know, as a uniformed officer, 60 percent leg work, right?

Forty percent paperwork.

But in a murder investigation, it's 50 percent instinct,

22 percent thinking, 25 percent paperwork.

Which makes 97 percent.

And three percent...

Yeah?

Morning, Tony. The usual, please, mate.

- Coming right up. - Oh, hi, Naz.

- Jack. - Meet my new partner, Georgina.

- Hi. - We've met.

The y-chromosome sampling course.

- You guys have met? - Oh, my God. Nazza, right?

Of course! Yeah, hi. How did the exam go?

- A. You? - A.

Wow, nice one.

Speaking of forensics, have we got a time of death?

- Between seven and nine last night. - Mm-hmm. How about a murder weapon?

No, but we've got three sets of prints off the inside of the boot lid.

Don't tell me. Weird Jeff, the kid who polishes the cars and the punter?

- Correct. - How did you know that?

- Lucky guess. - Experience.

- I told him. - Right. Have you eaten?

- No, I haven't. - Here you go.

Oh, thank you, Tony.

Perfect. Debbie Jackson, the fiancée,

lives five minutes away with her dad Dave.

Let's go.

Thanks for the smoothie. You owe me lunch.

- See ya. - Bye.

Do you know, I specifically asked for a male partner this time

and they give me her!

What have I done to deserve this?

What indeed? What indeed?

- Naz seems pretty cool. - Yeah, he's OK for a geek.

- He's not a geek. - He is.

Plays computer games over the internet

with his saddo friends wearing headphones.

That's just your generation's opinions of gamers.

It's how he chooses to unwind.

Well, my generation says he needs to get out more and get laid.

I'm sure Naz doesn't have any problems in that area.