All the Queen's Men

-Ugh, I gotta get my hair done.

Who the hell do I think I am?

Did I pay the gas bill? Shit.

These motherfuckers better not be stealing from me.

What time is it? Fuck!

You supposed to be a bad bitch?

You ain't shit.

Where's that damn watch?

I cannot believe my daddy has Alzheimer's.

I'm gonna whip my sister's ass if she ain't taking care of him.

This is some bullshit. I'm not sick.

I'm not taking these pills and shit.

I'm stressed, okay? Who the hell are you?

I'm stressed. I'm you.

You ain't me. You used to be me.

I've gotta call Blue. Where's Dime?

I need a dog.

Who gonna clean up after that motherfucker?

I wonder if I could kill my sister.

I'm stressed. You strut your shit.

You are James Deville's daughter, and don't you

let these motherfuckers forget it.

Hello?

-Hey, Auntie. I'm out.

Oh, oh, yeah, daddy!

Oh, oh! Mm! Mm! - That's my pussy.

Yes, yes, yes!

Oh, mm!

Oh, yes, oh!

Mm, mm, mm...

Allen is here. Ooh!

Oh, shit, Allen is here!

- Shit! I'm gonna fuck him.

- Doc, don't do this. It's my husband. Hurry up.

- All right. It's some bullshit.

- Hurry up! Go. - All right.

Hurry up!

Go, go, go, go, go.

It's some bullshit, girl.

Hey.

- Hey. - Baby.

I thought you went to Detroit for the day.

Got postponed.

Yeah. Okay.

Where are you going?

I need to shower.

Well, before you do that--

- So you had him park around the corner, huh?

Get your ass over here.

Let me go.

- You gonna tell me who he is right fucking now!

Tell me who he is, bitch! Tell me who he is!

You gonna tell me who he is.

That's what you want? That's what the fuck you want?

You gonna tell me who he is!

Who is it? Who is it?

Please.

Auntie.

My bad. Madam.

- Throw that shit in the car. Let's go.

Use this.

Your phone from '09 will not work.

Thanks.

- And thank you for picking me up.

-No problem. - No, for real, thank you.

You're the only family that hasn't disowned me.

- So, 60 days in a halfway house and you're free.

- Yeah, um, I just gotta find a job and stack some money.

- You can always work the door at the club.

- No. Uh, thanks. Uh, I'll find something.

- All right, well, if not, let me know.

- Cool I do need a favor, though.

- Shoot. - Can we make a quick stop

before I check in to the halfway house?

What's the address?

Thanks.

- Mr. Brown, where is your attorney?

I don't have one, Your Honor.

- Well, that's not good. Can you not afford one?

- No, ma'am. - He's lying.

- Instruct your client to be quiet, please.

- You need to be quiet. - I got you.

Let's hear it.

Your Honor, Mr. Brown

is working at a strip club called Eden.

He is an exotic dancer and makes thousands of dollars a night.

- Is that true? - No, ma'am.

I make about $1,000 a week. And I pay her all that I can.

- Ask him what kind of car he drives.

- Young lady-- -Just ask him.

He's lying! - Enough!

Mr. Brown, I wanna see your tax returns or I'm locking you up.

You have seven days to provide them to this court--

Seven days?

---or you will be dancing behind bars.

-Oh, he gets seven days--

- Quiet! Next case. -That's some bullshit!

-Mrs. Ellis! - Yes?

-Mrs. Ellis, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for--

- Hell, no. You don't get to apologize.

You get the hell out of here right now. Leave!

-And I don't give a shit, Roman.

I want my--

What the fuck!?

- I've been waiting ten years for this.

Turn around!

I wanna look in your face when I shoot you.

You got some nerve coming around here.

You know what you put my family through?

Do you?

Don't do it.

-No. No, Terry, no.

No, if you do this, they'll lock you up for life,

and I can't lose you too.

Baby...

Baby...

Baby...

- Come on. Get--get in the car.

What the fuck was that about, huh?

I was trying to apologize!

- What? That was the mom?

And her brother.

You gotta give me a head's up

the next time you gonna do some stupid shit like that.

Yo, you almost got yourself killed.

Yes, Madam.

- You should have let Ms. Patty represent you.

- Man, if she had come down here

and known I got a eight-month-old,

she would cut me off.

- Wait, she taking care of you like that?

Come on, man.

You got somebody taking care of you.

Not like that.

Hey, nigga, you know you ain't got no tax returns.

Just break her off.

- Break her--look, every time I go over there,

she wearing new shit,

and my baby running around in diapers with no shirt.

She ain't doing shit with the money.

Fuck her. I'm not doing it. I'm telling you.

- Okay, but look, if the judge sends Madam some shit saying

she needs to dock your pay, she gonna be pissed.

She don't like them white folks in her business.

Nigga, you better know what you doin'.

- Nigga, I said I got it. Worry about your shit.

I got mine covered.

Uh-uh.

After that shit you just pulled, no.

Stay your ass in the car.

- Yes, ma'am. - Give me that.

- I'm sorry. - Thank you.

Hello?

Hello, Carla?

Hey, Daddy.

Carla?

Carla, where you at?

Carla?

Girl, where are you at?

Carla?

Carla! Where are you?

Carla, where the fuck are you?

How you doin'?

I brought you some banana pudding from the restaurant.

What the fuck?

Where is this fucking girl?

I'm sorry, Daddy, hold on.

Carla, where the fuck are you?

- Amp, I need you. -Yes, ma'am.

- Hey, what's up? - Hey, come here.

She left him like this.

Damn.

- Look, I need you to help me get him cleaned up, okay?

Yeah, I got you.

- I can't do this shit. -Hey.

- Can't do this shit-- - Hey, hey.

I got you, okay?

Hey, Grandpa.

- They left the birds in the air!

They did?

I saw them!

Is that right?

All right, Grandpa, you gotta let me go get you showered, hey?

Okay? I'm gonna move you real slow, okay?

I got you. It's okay.

Alrighty. How you been?

All right, I'm just gonna take you in back here.

All right.

You gotta start using condoms.

Damn. Right out the gate?

And, yes, I do.

Just...sometimes.

- Well, if you did, you wouldn't be seeing me so often.

We've gone over this.

- Doc, I'm not here for that today.

Okay, what is it?

- Look at this dark spot on my shaft.

What is this? Is this a STD?

- No. There is a medical term for it, but I'll spare you.

Basically, this part of your penis is dying off.