Merry Ex-Mas

- Welcome back to "The Dish" with me, Michael Scott.

Now, Discrete was not so discreet last night.

She was caught in a Hollywood hotel room,

a pretty swanky one at that,

with her head of security, Mr. Jessie Rogers.

Get a room, guys.

Jessie, listen.

Discrete's manager is trying to skip out on our payments.

- Nothing happened, you know that.

- But they still blame us for the leak.

- It's a grenade, Mike, jump on it.

- You need to tell Noelle.

- I tried to call her, she's not answering.

I will tell her when she gets home.

You're doing it again.

What?

- Putting off what you know you shouldn't be putting off.

It was a mistake.

She will understand.

Not with the way things

have been going with you two lately.

You're more concerned than...

Jessie?

Jessie, can you hear me?

I'll call you back.

What's going on?

You need to leave!

Honey!

I can't believe you!

You're a cheat like my father!

You're not staying here.

You're, no way.

Where's that stuff?

- Honey, this isn't what it looks like!

I didn't do anything, trust me!

I did not do any of this!

Take your stuff and go.

Fore!

Are you kidding me?

Stop it!

You humiliated me!

And embarrassed us!

Trust me, nothing happened!

It's not what it looks like!

What are you...

Oh, you're here?

This is my house!

- Honey, I'm gonna get the shotgun.

We'll get-cha.

- You better leave before she gets back.

You know what?

Honey, not my clubs!

Yard sale!

Nothing happened!

- Anyway, we caught up with Discrete outside Studio B,

where she was recording her new album, "Heat is Hot."

- Discrete, Discrete, we've got some questions.

Discrete, hey, did you sleep

with your body guard Jessie Rogers?

- A good girl never kisses and tells,

but let's just say when I'm alone with him,

I'm safe and secure, and I have been for months.

- Oh, come on, that's not a real answer.

We wanna know, yes or no?

- A picture's worth 1,000 words, isn't it?

Oh, oh, come on!

Hey, hey!

Kidding me?

She's just lying!

They cropped this photo.

Oh, come on!

- No, no, no, they doctored this photo!

Look, I was standing right here.

This photo is faked.

Why they always cutting out a brother?

- Call Tillman, our lawyer, okay?

They can't just fake a photo like that.

That has to be illegal.

Find the real photo.

You got it.

- So Vicky, if you had the chance,

would you sleep with Jessie Rogers?

- Noelle, honey? - Months!

No, no, honey, she is lying.

She is lying through her teeth!

Messing around?

Exactly what does that entail?

- Honey, absolutely nothing, I promise you!

You know what?

I realize, I know that it's been a little rough between us.

I get that.

But this, I mean this has humiliated me!

Carrie's teacher came out to see if I was okay

and then her classmates asked her

if she knew Discrete and if she could get them tickets!

- Will you just give me a few minutes to figure this out?

- No, I'm not gonna let you just push this off, Jessie.

I'm filing for divorce tomorrow.

I saw my dad do this to my mom,

and they tried to work it out, but it doesn't work!

Noelle?

I'd go see her.

- No, no, if she doesn't trust me, why should I?

- Because she's worth fighting for.

Find that picture.

You know what I mean?

Who invites 400 guests?

Oh, it's a walk in the park,

but we should have charged more.

Okay, there's only two hours left, so let's move it, people!

She locked the door.

Oh, another runaway bride.

Sandy, I understand Mindy has a case of the cold feet.

I told you this would happen.

- I know, Jack, you're always right.

It should be fine.

She's marrying a really great guy.

You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna break down that door,

and I'm gonna drag her to the alter.

- Jack! - If you do,

she'll never come out.

Just give me a minute.

- Are you gonna give her the speech?

The key?

This is my second box.

Tell me I'll be happy, that Michael will take care of me

and I'll never be lonely.

Does he really love me?

- You know, every day you spend with Michael,

good and bad, and every night you sleep in his arms

and every time you work

through a seemingly impossible obstacle.

It's those times where your love will blossom.

Love is like a good wine, it only gets better with time.

If you climb out that window right now,

you are never gonna know how perfect Michael is for you.

My man.

Hello.

Yo, Jessie!

Hey, what's up, man?

- Listen, just finished end of year, made a little profit.

You don't usually miss that.

- Yeah, well, Noelle and Carrie are coming up to the cabin.

I just wanna make sure everything's ready for them.

- You've been gone two months.

There's a lot to do.

Tillman still advises

that you give up your lawsuit against TVT,

and the unknown photographer.

He's trying to stop you from losing more money.

Yeah.

- It's been two years since the divorce, everything is done.

Maybe it's time you moved on with your life, bro.

Thanks for your advice, Mike.

I'll talk to you later.

Take care of yourself.

- Using the best photographers and videographer,

we don't just capture the wedding,

we preserve it for generations to come.

- And it's not out of place, her condition?

- Honestly, it happened to me nearly 15 years ago.

Uh, listen, I'd like you to sit with Hannah

and go over some locations.

The Howard Hotel ballroom is to die for, start there, okay?

- Thank you. - All right.

- Okay, so here's the paperwork from Keller

defining the conditions of the cabin.

You just need to get Jessie to sign it.

- Oh, that'll take a small miracle.

Noelle, the IRS called again.

Did you direct them to Keller?

- I did, but Keller still needs to be paid

and so does Hannah, and so do I.

We are three days late on payroll.

The list of people we owe money to is just...

Oh, Robbie quit.

- He quit? - He wanted to find,

quote, "a real job."

Mm-hm.

We need to deal with this.

- Um, before they leave, get a down payment.

Right, oh, and Noelle...

Oh, ah, Flynn!

Noelle.

Oh.

Hey.

Ah!

For you.

They're from a crop of my roses that are engineered

to smell like a popular fragrance.

I'm always enchanted when we're together.

Mm enchanting.

Well, that's what I said.

Oh, would you like some champagne?

- Um, actually, can you put those on water, please?

- Ah, soda water with a penny, they'll last longer.

- I thought that you had to be in Hong Kong or something.

Oh, I, I finished early

and wanted to catch you before Christmas.