Hercules

You think you know the truth about him?

You know nothing.

His father was Zeus. The Zeus.

King of the gods.

His mother, Alcmene, a mortal woman.

Together, they had a boy.

Half human,

half god.

But Zeus' queen, Hera, saw this bastard child as an insult,

a living reminder of her husband's infidelity.

Alcmene named the boy Hercules,

which means "glory of Hera,"

but this failed to appease the goddess.

She wanted him dead.

Luckily, he took after his father.

Once he reached manhood,

the gods commanded him to perform Twelve Labors,

twelve dangerous missions.

If he completed them all and survived,

Hera agreed to finally let him live in peace.

He fought the Lernean Hydra!

He battled the Erymanthean Boar!

But his greatest Labor was the Nemean Lion.

This was no ordinary beast.

It had a hide so tough, no weapon could penetrate it.

But even this monster was no match for the son of Zeus.

What a load of crap!

Every word is true.

- (IOLAUS WHIMPERS) You know what I think?

This friend of yours doesn't even exist.

Laugh all you want.

He's coming. And be warned, Gryza, he despises pirates.

Macedonia has been good to us.

Plenty of villages ripe for pillaging.

We are here to stay.

Finish him.

The more you struggle, the faster you drop.

Indeed, your fleet is strong. I...

Yet, as I was about to explain before I was so rudely interrupted,

the Nemean Lion was strong, too.

Yet, he still destroyed it.

And not with a sword or a spear or arrows. No!

I did it with my bare hands!

Or so they say.

Hercules.

Is this all the men you have?

There's 40 of us. One of you.

The king of this land has offered me gold to dispose of you.

So leave, or die.

I get paid either way.

Make him bleed.

Five men with a single blow.

Still think you can destroy the son of Zeus?

Bring me his head!

Seems they need more convincing, Autolycus.

That's why we're here.

- Atalanta. - (GROANS)

Amphiaraus.

May Zeus forgive you.

- Tydeus? - (YELLING)

Die, Hercules!

Ah, good man. (CHUCKLES)

Hurry!

Hurry! Uncle!

Uncle, hurry!

Hurry! Hurry!

Any longer, Uncle...

And the girls would finally be safe from your attentions.

The rest of you may go.

But not you.

Thirteen,

14,15,153,

- 17, 18, 19, 20. - That was fun.

Twenty pirates at two gold pieces a head,

minus the headless ones. Let's see.

Not a bad night.

You see how the pirates ran? My story softened their resolve.

Their resolve must be broken, lolaus.

When you spread the legend of Hercules,

make it bigger, scarier.

The more they believe Hercules is truly the son of Zeus,

the less likely they are to fight.

Oh!

Aye.

- Amphiaraus? - Mmm?

Care to join us here on Earth?

A lion and a crow in strange alliance, fighting across a sea of corpses.

If you're going to use those herbs, Amphiaraus, at least share.

Huh?

- (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) - (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!

Fight it!

Keep practicing, boys!

- So who's next? You? You? - (SNIFFING)

Ah!

That's a pretty sight.

One more payday, Autolycus, that's all we need.

Then we get to live like the kings we've served.

Or live simply.

You still dreaming of barbarian lands?

Beyond the Aegean. At the shores of the Black Sea.

That is where I will live out the rest of my days in solitude.

Boring, if you ask me.

Maybe so, Autolycus.

But I'll never find peace unless I move as far away as possible.

What of Tydeus?

Without you to temper his rage, I fear what he may become.

Tydeus will go with me.

Civilization has become too civilized for us.

Uncle!

Join us. The girls are eager to welcome you.

See? I told you I knew Hercules.

Are you his servant?

I'm his nephew.

Are you, really?

I tell of Hercules' Twelve Labors,

like the Nemean Lion, the Apples of the Hesperides,

the Belt of Hippolyta

with its buxom naked Amazons and exciting bondage.

- I immortalize him... - He talks, while the rest of us fight.

It is a wonder you share the same blood as Hercules.

Have fun.

- Ladies. Oh...

What do you want with Hercules?

My words are for him, not you.

Atalanta, it's all right.

You certainly are a hard man to find.

Maybe I don't want anyone to find me.

I'm not just anyone.

My name is Ergenia, daughter to Lord Cotys.

Your father is most fortunate to have such a beautiful heir.

My father is most unfortunate.

He battles a warlord, Rhesus.

Our land is torn by civil war.

Every day, villages are destroyed, crops ruined, innocents slaughtered.

We all have problems.

Well, perhaps I can convince you to make our problems your own.

Unfortunately, My Lady,

Hercules is fully committed till the Feast of Dionysus.

We could, however,

advance you to the front of the line, for the right price.

Hmm.

I thought heroes fight for glory.

But mercenaries fight for gold.

Lord Cotys is a rich man.

I like him already.

If you agree to aid him, he will pay your weight in gold.

Eat up.

"A lion and crow in strange alliance."

Told you.

Where are we going?

It is good to see you safe, My Lady.

This war claims more victims every day. We were concerned, My Lady.

Thank you, General Sitacles. I was well protected.

Ah.

The mighty Hercules. An honor.

Though not quite as big an honor as I expected.

General, go tell my father Hercules is here.

Uncle? Hera. Impressive.

It's meant to be.

It took five years and a thousand men to build her temple.

Hera is the patron goddess of Thrace.

Everyone knows the legend, how Hera seeks to destroy Hercules.

Perhaps the right cause might finally reconcile you.

Mother!

Arius.

- You're Hercules. - That's right.

My name is Arius. I know all your Labors by heart.

You killed the giant Geryon with a single blow,

cleaned the Augean stables in one night.

Hercules is probably tired.

And the Labor of the Hide, and the Labor of the Mares.

- That's enough, Arius. Come along. - (CHUCKLES)

Stay away from him.

Men who deal in violence attract violence.

But he's Hercules. He's no mere mortal. He's the greatest!

Lord Cotys will see you now.

Have you ever met royalty, Hercules?

Once or twice.

Father! - Ah! (CHUCKLES)

Megara.

Welcome home, my love.

Hercules!

Whenever I'm here, I imagine this is what Elysium must look like.

Well, men like us have the means

to create our own paradise on Earth.