Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

Dirk: Previously on

"Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency"...

Do you think there's a chance

that he could be the boy you're looking for?

I don't want this situation to get abruptly monster-y,

or scissor-y, or any of the other things

situations have been getting lately.

-Do you know what this is? -Wendimoor.

You can't exist!

Farah: He's having a heart attack.

These people are more powerful than I imagined.

You are in way over your head.

Underneath your pain, there is a power.

I found them.

Vogel: Oh, yeah!

This is your test, Suzanne.

It's time you showed the world your real power.

Scott Boreton. What?

We'd like to have a word with you.

That's Suzie Boreton.

Wenefria! No!

I'm one of the freaks!

I want to everybody here!

[ "Little Bitty Pretty One" playing ]

Woman: I'm just saying

that this could be a big thing for us.

Money, a new start.

You always say,

"I'll think about it. I'll think about it."

'Cause I'm thinking about it.

Oh, you -- you'd rather a man who didn't think?

Maybe just one who thought a little quicker.

What was that?

It sounded like...

a ship?

We should go find a phone,

call for help.

Were there any reports of tornados?

How did it get here?

There's no water for miles!

Hello?

Mom? Is that you?

Oh, I'm so happy you're here.

We can go home together.

Something happened last night, Mom.

Something incredible!

I finally figured out

why I've been such a jerk to you.

I've always just felt like you didn't want me,

and that just made me so angry all the time!

But...all that's all gonna change now.

Because I -- I totally support you.

And I love you.

And I'm --

Gravta bazan.

Is this...a joke?

No, sir.

Same situation as Project Icarus.

Some sort of electrical pulse,

a brief break in the surveillance,

water all over the place.

This is the second subject that we have lost this week,

and there's three of them!

How come every time I leave you in charge,

subjects disappear?

I'm not in charge, sir.

I'm -- I'm just a lieutenant.

A lieutenant?

I thought you were my assistant.

No, sir.

I'm Lieutenant Assistent.

You mean, like,

your last name is "Assistent"?

Like, with an "E" or something?

Yes.

Gah! Why is everything so stupid?!

I've been going about this all wrong.

There's only one smart person in this whole stupid building!

Is that necessary?

Nice!

Oh ho ho ho ho ho...

sweet!

Oh, yes! Yes!

Okay.

Ugh.

Oh, ho, ho, man.

I am so screwed.

Ahem.

Okay. So...

Y'all gotta go.

Woman: Just ripped my underwear.

'Cause this is a police station.

Huh.

Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go!

What...

So...

Good first concert?

I feel...renewed.

And...

incredibly dirty.

Yeah.

That sounds about right.

Where's Dirk?

Mm.

-Hi! -Yaah!

Ohh...

Last night, you and all your friends,

you were out there yelling and kissing

and just grabbing each other's butts

and giving each other compliments.

It was a mess.

Mm. I-It was a mistake... coming in here.

I-I-I was in quite a state last night.

Are you back to being scared of me?

-Mm-hmm. -Why?

-You tried to kill me. -This again?

Yeah, sorry. This forever.

Ugh!

You know, I don't get you.

You're going through the same thing as me,

I can tell.

Do you even know how it works?

I mean, you talk about the interconnectedness

with all those big, fancy words,

but do you even know what you are?

Do you?

Do you have an answer, Bart?

You're not exactly a bastion of eloquent, articulate thought,

but do you have some kind of insight to offer me,

or are you just going to indolently scowl at me

while I'm trapped in your cage?

I'm just an assassin.

But I'll tell you what.

I'm starting to get a feeling this will all end badly.

Suzie: I'm sorry.

I failed.

It went wrong. I, um...

I dropped the wand,

but I'm gonna make it right.

I just... I dropped the wand,

but I just need another shot,

another chance,

and I swear I will get Dirk Gently.

I'll get the boy.

It doesn't matter.

Are you all right?

See for yourself.

Wait, is that supposed to be you?

I suppose I always suspected

there was something wrong with my world.

Even as I took it over,

it felt off somehow, you know?

Um, I don't...

This is just a picture.

Just a picture?

Look there.

This is the Battle of Star Rock.

This is the first kingdom that I conquered.

And here, there's the war for Knick-Knack Highlands!

And this is the ambush at Marshmallow Mountains.

So?

All of these are battles that I won easily.

There's no way anyone could know all these details!

I've killed everyone in my world who could tell these stories.

And yet, these drawings show them all,

with one difference -

I lose.

Every time.

Don't you see?