Glee

Hey, regionals, you've just met our opening number.

That's so good!

How did you manage to find a Burberry-esque canary cage cover?

Canaries don't like cold weather.

Especially Pavarotti. So, what did you think of the song?

Can I be really honest with you? Because it comes from a place of caring.

Been there, done that.

Look, you're amazing, Blaine.

Your solos are breathtaking.

They're also numerous.

Kurt, the council decides who gets the solos.

Do I detect a little jealousy?

No, you detect a lot of jealousy.

Look, Blaine, sometimes I don't feel like we're the Warblers.

I feel like we're Blaine and the Pips.

Okay, so I really took all of your notes from "My Headband" to heart,

and I really tapped into my pain for the second song.

Yeah. So come and sit down.

These are for you, just in case.

It's pretty emotional.

Don't be afraid if you need to...

Hit it.

- It's called "Only Child." - Yeah, I got that.

Uh, it's better than "My Headband." That's for sure.

Yeah.

But it-

it still feels like you're just playing scared.

You're only dealing with the easy pain.

You gotta get to the hard stuff. That's what's relatable to everybody.

I'm perfectly capable of accessing my pain.

I cry every time I sing a solo.

Exactly. When you sing, I can feel it.

I guess you just gotta go inside yourself...

to wherever the singing comes from and write from there.

Have you even ever tried to write a song?

Sometimes I worry about Finn.

How damaged does a guy have to be...

to be into someone as annoying as Rachel?

Still, he is a good guy, and I do really like him.

He's my first love, and first loves are forever.

And another thing:

Without him, I'm never gonna get one of these.

I know what you're thinking. "Prom queen?

You're smart and super pretty and relatively sane for a girl.

Does being prom queen really matter to you?"

Well, it does.

Prom queens live, on average, five years longer than regular people.

It's probably because they smile a lot,

and smiling has been proven to ward off diseases.

But I can't do it without Finn.

He's a shoo-in for prom king.

And after winning the big game, he'll help me land crucial swing votes.

Amazingly, the only person standing in my way is her...

and her damn talent.

If I'm gonna guarantee that he doesn't stray with her,

I'm going to have to play it right.

They say keep your friends close but your enemies closer.

Well, Rachel Berry,

you've just got yourself a new best friend.

Pavarotti?

Warblers, Warblers, I am merely suggesting...

that instead of wearing blue ties with red piping,

we wear jackets with red ties and blue piping for the competition.

- - This is a kangaroo court.

Kurt, what's wrong?

It's Pavarotti.

Pavarotti's dead.

I suspect a stroke. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

I know it's really stupid to be upset about a bird, but...

He-He inspired me with his optimism...

and his love of song.

He was my friend.

I know today we need to practice doo-wopping behind Blaine...

while he sings every solo in the medley of Pink songs.

But I'd like to sing a song for Pavarotti today.

Thank you.

Guys, I've got some bad news.

You know how we decided on "Sing" by My Chemical Romance for regionals?

Well, I hold in my hand a cease and desist letter from the band.

- We can't do it. - It was the perfect anthem.

How much do you wanna bet Coach Sylvester had something to do with this?

One step ahead of you.

Do you know anything about this, Sue? I do.

I met the drummer for My Chemical Romance...

at a drum circle, Daytona Beach, spring break, 1996.

We had a brief affair.

And when I heard of your song choice for regionals,

well, I was compelled to notify the band...

about your long-running legal battle with PETA.

That is not true.

You took away my Cheerios.

Consider this the opening salvo of World War Sue.

So, what are we gonna do now?

I think we should write original songs for regionals.

All those in favor of voting Rachel down a second time?

I think Rachel is right. This team works best...

when we push ourselves and do something a little different.

Well, that's true, but if all the other teams are doing amazing songs,

we're not gonna be so good.

You're right. We're not gonna be as good. We're gonna be better.

We won't be using other people's words or music.

It'll be our own... our own heart, soul, not just our voices.

We have a really talented songwriter in our midst.

Rachel, I was thinking maybe you and I could write a song together.

I'm with Quinn and Rachel.

If these two can agree on something, it's probably an idea worth considering.

Wait. So suddenly, you two are writing the music for regionals?

No way. I think that everyone should get a chance to write a song.

- Santana's right. We can do this. - What do you think, Mr. Schue?

I think we're doing original songs for regionals.

Yes!

Hey.

Can I ask you a question?

We used to be really close, and I really miss being your friend...

Still waiting for the question. Did I do something wrong?

Look, I don't know. Did you?

All I know is you blew me off to be with Stubbles McCripplepants.

It's fine. It's your loss.

'Cause now I get the chance to write an awesome heterosexual song about Sam...

that we're gonna sing at regionals. Wait. You're still dating Sam?

But you told me you were in love with me.

I honestly don't know what I was thinking.

But can you stop staring at me? I can't remember my locker combo.

Well, well.

If it isn't Tweedledum and Tweedle Fake Boobs.

You can't talk to us like that. You're not our cheer coach anymore.

I'm not anybody's cheerleading coach anymore.

You betrayed me.

And in case you haven't heard, I like to play dirty.

I don't even remember putting that in there.

I think Blaine's version of the song...

is actually better than the original.

- But it's not in his natural key, so... - How dare you.

Enough. I'm tired of this.

I agree. I think we should just let you pick the song that you wanna sing.