Back in the Game

Announcer: Now batting... Number 9, Danny Gannon.

Come on, Danny. You got this. You got this.

- H! - Umpire: Dead ball.

Hit batter. Take your base.

Oh.

Okay, buddy, hey, let's, um, let's, uh, let's wipe the smile off your face, okay?

Let's not be smiling after that. All right, back to work.

Sweetie, are you okay?

- It really hurts. - Ohh.

Hey, hey, hey. Don't rub it. Don't rub it.

Don't rub it. If you rub it, people will think you're hurt.

- Dad, it does hurt. - Hey, listen.

Oh, no. Don't do this, please.

- Do not cry. - It is okay to cry.

No. Gannons, we inflict pain, and then we laugh.

What?! What are you, a monster?

Do me a favor. Take a little break, will ya? Please?

Listen to me, Danny. Just fight through it.

Pain is temporary. Crying hurts you the rest of your life.

Now, when I walk away, spit.

So, somebody has a big birthday coming up, huh?

The big 1-1.

So, I was thinking, uh, invite a few friends over.

You know, we can hang out, watch a movie, maybe do a little face-painting.

Danny: Face-painting? You know that I'm a boy, right?

- Well, after today, the jury's still out. - Shut it!

All right, well, we could do something else.

- How about a cupcake station? - How about a paintball party?

Sorry, bud. You know, I looked into it, and it's just a little...

100% out of our price range.

But we could rent a movie, have some pizza,

and hang out with some friends.

Look, mom, I've been to four birthday parties.

Three went go-karting, one went to laser tag.

I can't just have my friends over for a movie and a pizza.

I'm still gonna stop by the Redbox at the market just in case.

The poor kid.

I mean, even though he's a crybaby, he deserves a better party than that.

Why don't you just get one of them germ-infested bounce houses

where you get concussions, you know?

That's even better than what you got planned.

Step it up, will you? Huh?

Step it up.

Season 1, Episode 8 "No Crying in Baseball"

Danny: What's a fake noodle called?

- What? - An im-pasta .

Ohhhh.

- That's... that's good. - You get it?

It's... it's a pretty good pun.

Let me know if you guys need anything else.

Thanks, Chelle.

Hey, so, we are gonna have people over for Danny's birthday.

We're gonna have pizza. We're gonna have video games.

We're gonna have face-painting.

No, we killed that. That's not something we're doing.

Right. Because you hate way-cool face-painting.

Let it go.

Anyway, it's this Saturday, and I know that's really late notice,

but please tell me you guys are free.

What, no? This Saturday? We can't. It's Michael's party.

- It's your birthday, too? - Yeah.

- "Dancing with the Birthday Stars." - No way.

Did you not get the invitation?

Ahhh.

Weird. Must have gotten lost.

Look, it's okay if you guys can't make it.

Um, it's not like we're having a real party, anyway.

Or... brilliant idea from Lulu... Um, why don't we combine parties?

And now that I say it, more obvious than brilliant, but...

Well, that would be awesome! Mom, can we?

Oh, I don't... I don't know. We don't want to jump on your thing.

Oh, Terry, come on. It's me. Jump on my thing.

This is going to be huge. My mom does everything big.

Makes everything big.

Uh, honestly, we were gonna go small.

- I'm on a really tight budget. - Oh, Terry, don't be so silly.

I've got contacts all over town... Get us a great price.

And we'll do it together. It'll be fun.

Danny, what kind of party would you like?

You can have absolutely anything you want.

- Paintball. - Paintball?!

Paintball?

- Danny, anything you want. - Yeah, paintball.

Oh, come on, mom. It's gonna be so much fun.

Okay.

- Dancing and violence it is. - Yes!

It's so "West Side story." I'm loving it.

Okay!

Lulu: And how much are the balloons shaped like army tanks?

Only $50? Great. We'll take 10 of those.

Or one.

We'll take one sad, lonely balloon shaped like an army tank.

And a bubble machine.

Great. Thank you, Mr. Balloon Man.

I can't believe we are actually planning a party together.

Oh, I know. It's an exciting twist in our friendship.

Yeah, it's like we're in The Parent Trap and we just found out we're twins.

Oh, yes. A couple of Lohans, we are.

You know, those two were great. They really should work more.

Hey, what's going on?

I'm hearing a lot of clicks over there.

Oh, I'm just on the paintballing website getting a few last-minute essentials.

You've got the laser scope and the utility belt and...

- Just "select all." - Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. "Select all."

That feels like a bit much.

Yeah, kids don't need all that. Well, at least Danny doesn't.

Oh, well, my Michael does need all that.

He's accustomed to a certain level of going big.

Danny, I think, feels more comfortable

being... Less accessorized.

So, you know, maybe we just do the utility belts,

and then before going big, we just talk to each other.

Fine. Fine.

Just get the belts... And they'll look great.

Wow. Splitting the cost has actually made this whole thing doable.

- What's our grand total? - $4,000.

- I owe you 2 grand? - Yes! Cheap as chips!

You know, we should plan all our parties together.

Hey, look.

I got you a... an early birthday present just to make up

for whatever lame thing your mother gets you.

And... here it is.

Wow.

- A sock. - Don't be a wise guy. It is not a sock.

It is a redemption sock.

There's a cue ball in the toe of this thing.

So one quick little move... Forehand or backhand...

The Gannons are not the ones crying anymore.

- We're back. - And I'm in Juvie.

Why is this such a big deal? Did I seriously disappoint you?

You're my grandson... My only grandson...

And I care for you more than anything else in the whole world.

So, uh, yeah.

You're a mess. What, did you sleep in your pizza clothes?

Yes. Yes, I did, actually.

I worked a double shift last night, and I'm working another one today.

Mom, I know why you're doing this, and I really appreciate it.

Don't worry about it, buddy. I'm happy to.

Oh, no.

No, no, no. No redemption sock!

This has spaghetti sauce. That's the same one from when I was a kid!

That's wrong. That is not spaghetti sauce.

Danny is fine.

There will be no braining of kids with the redemption sock.

Look, we had an embarrassing moment in public.

We are not fine until we get this whole thing balanced out.

No one cares, dad. Let it go.

Danny, get your stuff. You're gonna be late for school.

Redemption sock II is in your lunch bag,

and the sequel is just as good as the original.

Go get 'em, buddy.

Go. Hey.

Vzzt! Vzzt! "Timber!"

O.M.G.! The RSVPS are rolling in!

This is the most kids I've ever had a party.

- I'm so jazzed. - Heh-hey!

How's the arm, wuss boy? I hear you're having paintball party?

Yeah. Yeah, we are. And guess what...

- You're not invited. - Guess what, Danny.

Anyone can show up to a paintball range and ruin the whole party

by shooting the birthday boys until they cry.

- There's also going to be dancing. - Not the time, Michael.

I can't believe that you ditched me to join this entire team of losers!

- What's your problem? - A mild case of ADHD.

We're dead.

What?

Hup. Eight. Hup.

- Change of plans, everyone. - Hold on.

Party is canceled, all right?

David and the Pirates... They're gonna come,

and they're gonna kick our butts in paintball, all right?

Emphasis on my butt.

So, wait a minute. You're just gonna run away and hide?

Yeah. That seems like the "I want to make it to 12" thing to do.

No, see, we can just turn this whole thing around.

We can get rid of that crying nonsense, right?

I mean, this is your cue-ball-in-a-sock moment.

- I just want to have a normal birthday. - You will.

I can teach you the basics of infantry training, but you got to listen.

Now, these Pirates over there... They will show you no mercy.

They think you're all a bunch of wusses anyway. We'll use that.

We will make their hubris be their downfall, see?

What's a hubris?

You'll be the first two to go.

Yay! First!

Hey, uh, where's Dong?

If you have to ask about Dong, then you're already dead.

I just got a chill.

Okay, then, let's go.

Down.

Up.

Down.

Up.

Dong, not down and down. Down and up.

No, no. Those are not shillelaghs. This is not a Scottish dance.

Strike with it!

Crawling, crawling.

Crawling!

Roll! Good.

- Aah! Aah! - Push it!