The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants

- Two butts! - No, he should have three.

Infinity butts!

Or he should be one giant butt made entirely out of dynamite.

And he burps fire, so he never has to light a match.

But he also has a blowtorch. Just in case.

Genius.

This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins.

George is the kid on the left with the tie and the flattop.

Harold is the one on the right with the T-shirt and the bad haircut.

Remember that, now.

This is the night that George and Harold created...

Captain Underpants

and the Blistering Blasts of the Booming Buttpocalypse!

by George Beard and Harold Hutchins.

And then Hein-o-mite... that's his name 'cause he's a heinie and he's dynamite...

poops a stick of dynamite and throws it at Captain Underpants, and it explodes.

And he crashes into, uh...

a tree, and it explodes,

sending him flying into a condor!

That explodes!

That's not cool. We can't explode a bird.

Right, uh, a dump truck that explodes!

Sending him flying into a luxury pillow-top mattress factory!

That explodes!

Man, this is gonna be...

A masterpiece!

We've out-awesomed ourselves.

New handshake!

Huh.

Wait. Doesn't it go hand, elbow, arm, knees, toes, and then screaming?

- We're cool! - Me too!

Blah, blah, blah, blah!

Tra-la-la!

It was George and Harold's finest hour.

- Another masterpiece in the can. - Nobody does it better.

Ugh. Bat wings again.

- Hey, guys. - Hey, Erica.

- What'd ya think? - What was your favorite part?

The explosions in the beginning or the end or the middle?

Well, let's start with the positive.

The Fart-mada invasion. Gripping.

And when Hein-o-mite sacrifices himself for the good of all butt-kind, I cried.

But I do have one small suggestion.

Girls don't like it.

- Is that a suggestion? - What are you talking about?

The girls loved it!

Ugh!

It's making me bored and angry at the same time.

Is "borngry" a word? I'm "borngry"!

- Huh. That's not good. - Nope.

But it's nothing a strong female character can't fix.

What about Hein-o-mite's girlfriend, Screamerella?

Maybe. If she did something besides scream.

She could be a lawyer and scream. It happens.

Harold, she had to drop out of high school to scream about the Barfborg invasion!

Oh, right. Forgot about the backstory.

All your girl characters just cry, shop, and brush pony hair.

How about a girl with dimension?

You mean, like, "Dimensionerella"?

- Eh. Not great. - Plus, how do you draw that?

Yeah... no. Let's try this again.

Erica Wang... editor in chief of the Jerome Horwitz Examiner,

lead soprano of the Science Singers,

former president of the Future Presidents Club.

Such a beautiful brain... of oatmeal.

Almost as beautiful as mine.

Our brains belong together.

Two brains of oatmeal thinking as one.

Look, we know what kids like... big messy action.

Observe.

Food fight!

Food fight!

Remember the à la mode!

Erica and I, a hive mind of love.

See? We know what kids like. We're dialed in. Experts.

Maestro... Whoa!

This is your fault, even if it isn't!

You boys are coming with... Oh!

Got ya!

Stop throwing wieners! Aah!

What is keeping it up there, tape?

Silence!

There's two! It's a matching set!

Mr. Meaner tells me there's nothing you boys hate more than exercise.

So we're going for a run.

Don't worry, pal. Mr. Krupp gets winded burping.

Oof.

Yeah. Come on.

Oh.

"All hail conformity"? Eh...

"Cool fart mall."

What are you doing?

Thought you wouldn't see us during the flashback.

True, I started the food fight, but only 'cause of what Erica said.

She can suck the joy out of anything.

So, technically, she started the fight, except without touching food, so...

Enough!

Boys, I dislike you with every fiber...

of my being.

But I'll help you, because the last thing I need in my school

is you upsetting girls!

Then they'll come to me...

...and I can't have that because they baffle me.

See? What is that supposed to mean?

- Uh, "hello." - Maybe, maybe not! No one knows!

We know. It's definitely "hello."

Here's a pamphlet that may help.

Understanding Women: A Pamphlet Men Will Never Read.

- Is this good? - Never read it.

But it might help you boys fix things with Erica.

And you better, because if any girls come to me...

...I'm taking you down with me.

Melvin had it so bad for Erica's brain,

he couldn't get her brain out of his brain.

Can you pass the scalpel, my cerebral sweetheart?

Shall we begin the dissection, my intellectual amore?

Nothing would please me more. Start with the ventral nerve cord?

Ooh, how about the subpharyngeal ganglion?

That's why I adore you.

And I, you. Brain nuzzle!

Uh, that's the class skeleton.

I know.

Erica!

These videos are hilarious.

You're the best, Gooch.

Aha! The key to her heart: funny videos.

Intentional!

How are we supposed to make things good with Erica and the girls?

Well, we just write a rad comic.

Like, with robot T-rexes, knife people... and leave out the ponies.

No ponies?

Hey, what if we just put in a strong girl character?

- Didn't Erica say that? - I don't know. I wasn't listening.

- Wait. Let's make it about Erica! - Yes!

We'll make her the star of the comic, and we'll give her special Erica powers.

Genius.

Captain Underpants and the Sinister Frights of Scarica Fang!

by George Beard and Harold Hutchins.

So once there was this strong female character

named Scarica Chang.

She was a real know-it-all who sucked the joy out of everything.

She was all, "You're so wrong," and, "Tomatoes are fruit,"

and, "You eat too much cheese and stuff."

Then one time, this bat flew into the school,

and she goes, "You don't fly right."

And the bat's like, "Oh, yeah? 'Cause I'm a talking bat."

But he got all sad, and then he bit her.

He had melancholy bat venom!

And it turned her into a vimpire,

which is like a vampire, but it sucks "vim," aka "joy," instead of blood!

I know, new word!

She says, "I'm Scarica Fang. I'm so sad, and I vant to suck your joy."

So she flew all around school biting funny bones and sucking joy.

"Ow! My joy is gone."

She got bigger and stronger, and she busted out of the school.

Just then, Captain Underpants was leaving the Underground Underwearhouse.

"Kids! I got underwear down there and an albino gator."

But the kids were crying and stuff, and Scarica says,

"I took their joy, and I will take yours!"

And he says, "Nuh-uh! Stop it or else!"

And she says, "Or else nothing," and attacks.

Captain Underpants didn't want to drop all his new underwear.

"It's all clean and fresh!" So he threw the albino gator at her.

But it just stuck to her head.

"Your albino gator is useless against me!"

"Okay," he says. So he gave in and threw all his new underwear at her ninja-style.

Foop-foop-foop-foop!

She looked like an underwear snowman,

and the kids thought it was so funny, they loled like crazy.

Captain Underpants was getting their joy back!

There was so much laughing that she laughed, too!

"Stop. Ha ha ha. My joy tank is filling, ha ha ha, too fast!"

And she got so big and so round,

the kids could jump on her like a bouncy house all day!

See, it all works out. Tra-la-la. The end.

Not well.

This is a disaster.

Don't get me wrong, it's bad, but I don't think we crossed the line.

You crossed the line, man.

Crossed the line.

Making fun of Erica was not cool.

Oh, no. She's gonna kill us. Run!

Erica, you're not mad about the comic, right?

- I don't get mad. - Whew.

I get even.

Just kidding.

Or am I?

Nah, I'm kidding. Keep up the good work, boys.

Mm-hmm.

That was a real emotional roller coaster.

I know smiles. She loves it.

Oh, yeah, you took that online class.

- Congratulations, you know smiles! - Ha!

Since Erica called Gooch the best when he showed her funny videos,

Melvin built the Blisskrieg 2000 to blast his favorite funny videos

into Erica's brain.

That way, Erica would think Melvin was the best.

After I indiscriminately carpet-bomb her brain with comedy,

Erica and I will perform experiments side by side for eternity.

Or longer.