Coffee Cat Mama (Mao Si Ma Ma / 貓屎媽媽)

See for yourself, Sir!

Thank you for sending me off!

It's from someone you fired again?

What is it?

A friend of mine wants to kill himself.

Sister can attest to that.

What's your friends name?

Ng Kin-shek! Ng Kin-shek!

What are you doing here, Mom? What happened?

Pebble sent me an SMS

thanking me for sending him off.

I came to file a report.

Sister, did you see Pebble kill himself?

I saw him in the hospital.

He seemed so down, so I am worried.

Then you're only guessing.

Sir, can you send someone to look for him?

Or else it'll be too late.

Sit down. I need a statement from you.

Right! Thanks!

Sir, can I have my phone back?

I need to send an urgent email.

What? Pebble has come to this, yet you just care about your email!

What can I do? I've already reported it.

You don't care about him at all.

You're just worried someone would come after you.

Hey...do you know how many people Marcia fires in a year?

She gets these messages all the time!

She has filed so many reports,

all the officers know her well.

Hey...do you know the term "what if"?

What if something did happen?

Can you live with yourself?

You think you're in a market place?

Or have you watched too much TV?

Why make me say this to shut you up?

You, go over there for your statement.

You, finish giving your statement.

It's my fault!

I was so worried about the competition that I neglected Pebble.

Or I would have known his grandma is sick

and he has nowhere to go.

Relax! Pebble won't abandon his grandma.

Sister has promised to pray for him.

He should be fine.

Let's have some sweet soup. My treat!

Something sweet can cheer you up! Smile!

Mom!

Wait here!

When So Mei went to your office with me and Sherman,

it wasn't an act at all.

So Mei sincerely wanted to apologise.

Sherman and I regret what we've done.

Then you should go back to the UK.

You wanted to stop and think,

but you're taking much longer and wandering much further off.

You can refuse to go back to the UK,

but you want to be with a beverage bar guy?

No. He's a barista.

I'm so disappointed in you!

I'll go back to school,

but in Hong Kong not the UK.

Then I can run the cafe and go to school.

And be with the bar guy too, right?

He's a barista.

I worked so hard to put you through school in the UK,

you have wasted my effort and your own hard work.

You...

I don't care!

Mom!

She doesn't want us to be together?

You heard everything?

Part of it,

something about beverage bar guy and barista.

Obviously, she's talking about me.

I told her I'd continue my studies here and wouldn't go back to the UK.

Obviously, she's not happy about that.

You're laughing? How can you do that when I'm so troubled?

Are you sure about this?

No regrets?

Maybe you should press on the horse.

I'm much better in making decisions now.

I think you're right.

A wise man must have told you

if you have someone important in your life,

you'll make your decisions with him in mind.

So it's easier to make up your mind now?

I'm not telling you.

Come on, tell me who's so important.

I'm not telling you that either.

Come on, tell me...who is it?

Don't be nosy!

Being nosy is human nature,

just like all men are horny.

HEY"

Mrs Wan... Yes?

I'm sorry to impose on you with such short notice.

I can take care of myself.

I'll take my laundry to the cleaner,

and the microwave oven will take care of my 3 meals a day.

Few families can do without a microwave oven these days.

When I move out, I'll leave that behind as a present to you.

Thank you so much...

I'll get out of your way.

Will I be affected by the radiation?

I'd better go in for a check up tomorrow.

Why don't we tell Marcia you don't want a microwave oven?

Of course not! She's your boss.

You already work OT all the time,

now your entire office has moved in,

you're on standby 24 hours a day!

Mom, don't say that

or I'll burst into tears.

Percy, I'll wait for you downstairs in the oar.

A fire?

Tri-fork? What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

I know, last time at the church,

you told me you had a fight with your daughters,

your flat is under renovation,

that's why you moved here.

Your business must be doing well.

Besides hitting villains under the flyover,

you're providing house calls?

No, this is my son's flat.

He'll live here after he gets married.

What a small world! I live next door.

You're kidding!

See? Everything is beyond our control.

I kept praying that my son would get married.

Now that he's finally doing it, I am so very depressed!

You're blessing the 4 corners for them.

That shows you have given your consent.

How? You know what that woman is!

I know you told me at the church,

if I could accept what my daughter did Z years ago,

why couldn't I accept my son's making his own choices?

But can you imagine having that woman as my daughter-in-law?

I've decided to tell them

I'm going back to my hometown to give out their wedding invitations.

I'll stay there and won't come back, to spare my eyes of that mess.

But don't tell my children.

I came over because I thought there was a fire.

I don't have time to meddle in other people's business.

I'm telling you because I know you're not nosy.

Being a mom is so tough. Being a mother is so tough.

You're still young, Tri-fork.

You're too healthy to quit.

It'll be such a loss to the neighbourhood.

I've been cursing people for decades,

it's not something to brag about.

I want to start earning merits for the next life.

That's why I've decided to quit.

Mom!

Are you serious about quitting?

I thought you were just saying it.

It's true!

And you believe her?

She can't stand not cursing anyone!

It's her trick to boost business.

I bet when you come back after giving out the invitations,

you'll re-open and say you're back by popular demand,

and have the excuse to raise your fees.

Widowhood is not meant for a tart!

Are you crazy? I'm a tart?

No more so than Fung...

I mean she has those captivating eyes.

Captivating eyes...

Indeed she has captivating eyes.

We're meeting her for dinner.

Hurry up and let's get going.

Get out of my way or I'll hit you...

Choose dragon fruit based on its colour.

As red as you can find.

Don't choose those with yellow leaves.

I don't have to learn as long as you'll pick them for me.

I may not be around forever.

Once you learn the trick,

you'll know what to do when you constipate.

Mom, don't talk about that in the streets!

Alright...let's talk about menopause.

What?

All women go through menopause.

You hear about the hot flashes and sweating all the time from TV,

so I won't get into that.

But during this stage,

you must always carry a napkin with you.

Amenorrhoea is not like turning off the tap,

and your period just stops and goes away.

It's likely to start again without warning.

If you're caught out and about without a napkin,

you'll make a big mess.

Why are you telling me this? What's wrong?

I'm getting on, I won't be around forever.

I don't want to see you give birth in your 50s when I'm dead.

Speak for yourself!

Well? Are you done?

I'm asking you if you're done! Oh heavens!

What?

I taught you how to pick oranges when you were a kid.