Shaadi No. 1

The three of us are going to happily Kill ourselves.

We thanK all those who are going to cry for us.

And all those who do not, will be made to cry by us...

...when we meet them above.

Raj, Aryan and Veer!

OKay God, I cannot live here anymore.

I'd told you before, if you wanted to hang yourself from the tree...

...you should have had a lighter breaKfast.

I haven't eaten anything nor have I taKen any drinK...

Now I will drinK this and die.

Rat poison? Where did you get it from?

I got it from my house. Now I'll die within minutes.

Aryan, what's the date today? - 16th April 2005, why?

How will it Kill you past its expiry date?

What are you saying?

That's the reason for the increase in mice population at my place.

I have a better plan than what you two have. Do you see this railway line?

Within a few minutes a train will pass from here...

...and I will pass away along with it.

Wow, what a full-proof plan, Raj!

Yes, my friend. Can we too come along?

Wait we are also coming. - Come soon.

Your planning failed.

Didn't I tell you that we had to go on that railway tracK?

We escaped once again. When will we get our freedom?

Even this train did not Kill us.

See, someone is trying to commit suicide.

Let's stop him; if we can't die then we won't let him die as well.

Yes, let's stop him.

Hey, get out...

Hello, get out. Yeah get that...

C'mon, taKe him out. - Sir, get up.

God of death? - No you are alive.

Why did you save me? You should have left me to die.

Why did you save me?

That's because we tried to Kill ourselves but failed continuously.

Did you also come here to commit suicide? - Yes.

We all belong to the same category.

But tell us why did you want to commit suicide?

I have not one but three reasons. - Three?

I had opened a company on my name.

Kothari Hair oil...

But whoever used that oil turned bald.

What about the second one? - I then opened another company.

Kothari Water Colors.

School children playfully painted each other's face...

...but nothing could taKe off that paint.

What about the third one?

I had launched Kothari Incense SticKs.

When the newlyweds lit it on their wedding night...

...the brides started vomiting. - You mean it impregnated them?

No, they vomited because of the stench.

And paying for their bills landed me in the hospital.

These reasons are not enough to commit suicide.

Change the names of your products first.

Kothari is a very bad name. - What?

Then launch you hair oil once again. - What?

But not as a hair oil rather as a hair remover.

That's right, Raj. And marKet your water colours...

...as permanent wall paint.

Wow, Veer! And the incense sticKs should be branded as mosquito repellent.

It will not only ward off all mosquitoes with it odour...

...it will also solve the problem of vomiting.

What an idea! Too good!

You guys are very useful.

All we have is great ideas and no worK.

We are jobless!

Will you worK for me?

Yes.

"Unrestrained that we are, it's impossible to stop us."

"Rebellious and whimsical princes, that we are!"

"We are on the front page, everyday!"

"MaKing merry is our motto! Come o' pretty damsel, come to me!"

"This heart is crazy about you."

"Enough of the cravings!"

"We will fulfill our wishes now."

"We will live and die in love."

"With the whole world as our witness"

"Just waiting for the one who can taKe our sleep and peace with her demeanors."

"MaKing merry is our motto! Come o' pretty damsel, come to me!"

"This heart is crazy about you."

"We strive to be ahead of everyone else."

"Capable of deflecting even the powerful storms."

"These firm steps never retreat."

"We can force even the sKies to descend."

"It's useless to throw a challenge to us."

"MaKing merry is our motto! Come o' pretty damsel, come to me!"

"This heart is crazy about you."

Dear, I was performing this ritual for your success.

Where did you get this devil for the ritual?

I returned from Tirupati today,

bringing along God's blessings with me.

You could have stayed there for the rest of your life.

Why did you come bacK to ruin my life?

I wish I could visit Tirupati too.

You are thinKing about Tirupati and not your husband.

I'll have to find someone else if this Keeps happening all the time.

What? - Come with me.

VenKateshwara...

See, this is for you. - Where did you get so much from?

I was begging with a bowl in my hand.

Oh, so that was the reason of the missing bowl?

I have earned it from my new job.

This is my first salary.

Really? All this is because of the ritual I had performed.

It's because of Lord Tirupati's grace.

This is nothing.

See, what I have brought for you.

Porridge, we will eat this in...

...the night and together we will...

And this is strawberry ice-cream...

...we will eat this in the night and then...

I'll scream and you will scream.

Why are you screaming now? - You are trying to corrupt me.

O' God!

Why did you throw it in the dustbin?

So that you cool down and stop behaving liKe this.

Instead of cooling me down it will only maKe me hot and hotter.

Pandit-ji...

...where are you taKing it? What do you need it for?

Being immersed in God's devotion...

I didn't have any strength left for anything else.

My wife's favorite flavor is vanilla but tonight...

strawberry will do. - What?

Your honor, this man standing in the witness box...

...had it been in his control, he'd gift his wife a copy of the Kamasutra...

...instead of a nuptial thread on his wedding night.

He wished his wife to read sleazy booKs instead of religious ones.

Brilliant, Sonia-ji...

Why are you getting so excited?

I can't help it.

Seeing Sonia-ji everyday...

H.S. Gulati's heart taKes olympic sized somersaults.

Olympics are held every four years.

Why do you come here everyday?

My Lord, pronounce such a verdict today...

which will compel men to accept a 'no' from their wives.

Why do you wish to ruin their lives liKe mine?

OKay, let's hear what he has to say.

In the view of the evidences, this court has reached to the conclusion...

that this woman has faced grave injustice.

And hence taKing a compassionate stand it grants a divorce to the lady.

The court is adjourned.

Congratulations, Sonia-ji.

You've done such a great job for the women of our country...

just liKe what our leaders had done for our country.

What? Partition.

Congratulations.

Mr. Gulati, he's my husband Aryan and he's my assistant H.S. Gulati.

I'll just come bacK. - Where are you going?

Anyway, I Know why Sonia-ji...

is so dedicated towards her worK

Why? - Because she married you blindly.

OKay.

He went away insulting me.

It doesn't matter how many somersaults he taKes here...

it will be me who will taKe part in the olympics in the night. Sonia!

Silence.

Baby, are you ready?

Lights, camera, action!

"Revel in my love, my dearest."

"Don't shy away from me now."

"My dearest."

"I don't wish to revel in your love, my love..."

"Let your heart be with you, my love."

"I am a pretty woman."

"I won't be persuaded easily."

"Go and pacify your heart."

Cut!

Baby, my child.

This is going to be a smashing hit.

I will focus my camera in such a way that it will appear...

as if you are on Mount Everest.

Where did this Everest come from? Neeru, didn't I tell you that...

I don't want any audience when I am worKing.

Hey, Keep quiet, he's my husband Veer.

Such a pretty damsel and she has got her prince charming so soon?

What was the hurry?

Dia...

I have secured a job.

No complaints now? - No.

So can we be together...?

Of course baby.

Why don't you wait for me at home?

I'll finish my worK here and then come to you.

What are you doing? Let me light the lamp.

You want to light it and I want to blow it off.

If I don't get what I haven't got in one month...

...I'll go insane.

Listen...

Whatever you wish for, cannot happen.

I have taKen a vow for your career growth.

But you'd taKen that last month and now I have acquired a job now.

Listen, I have taKen this oath because you secured a job.

TaKe this pillow, this blanKet and sleep outside.

C'mon...

It's just a matter of one month, please.

Don't Know when I'll get my chance.

My chance is inside but I stand no chance. O' God!

Enough of all this.