Broad City

Hey.

- Oh, hey. - Hi.

H...

Were you... Were you watching me sleep?

No, I was watching you try to breathe.

I think you have a... a badly deviated septum.

But it's a damn cute deviated septum.

Aw, thank you.

I got you something.

Okay.

What is it?

Open it.

Wow.

Ah, it's a... it's a little yellow hat.

Try it on.

Oh, I-I'd love to try it on.

I love this.

Really?

Yes. Perfect.

I mean, do you think it fits?

Definitely. Does it feel loose?

I don't know what it is.

Well, you can always put a bobby pin in

to keep it in place, like they do with the, um...

Yarmulkes? Yes.

Wait.

Why do you know that word?

I'm... I'm Jewish.

Okay.

No. I'm... I'm 100% Jewish.

Well, you are funny.

Well...

Mommy!

My Genes&Me results came!

Okay, I am...

100% Ashkenazi Jew.

Yeah, no shit. Ever seen a mirror?

Wow. Okay. We have history of anxiety.

Check. Poor eyesight.

Check.

Yeah, well... Tay-Sachs disease.

- Cystic fibrosis. Fragile X syndrome. - Uh-huh.

Holy shit. Let me tell you something, honey.

I could've told you all of that without your selling

your medical history to the government.

What... What do you mean?

Google owns your DNA, you naive little bitch!

Well, I'm gonna write all about this

for my grad school personal essay.

"Endophenotypes: The Genetic Inheritance

- "of Mental Disorders." - Yikes!

Okay, what else does this have to teach me abo...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!!

- Abbi. - What?

Well, I just found out

that I have the richest history a millennial Jew can have.

Yah!

Hey!

Dude, this is incredible.

There's so few left. There's, like, none.

I know, and I'm 16th cousins

- with one who lives in Manhattan! - Whoa.

- We have to go right the fuck now. - Okay.

Dope, because I know that I can learn

so much about my history or whatever,

but also about our shared mental illness. Shwing!

Maybe I should get my DNA tested.

I could be related to a Holocaust survivor, too.

Who, a guard?

Come on, Ilana.

I don't mean a full-on Nazi.

I mean like a Polish soldier who looked the other way.

I am Jewish.

Yeah, emphasis on the "ish." Come on. Let's go.

So what are we doing, the Q or the F?

Fuck!

What da hat?

Oh, this? Lesley got it for me.

She saw it and thought of me.

It's cute, right? I'm just giving it a go.

We'll see.

Brave.

Yeah, so she was just, like, out and saw it in a store

and... and thought of me.

And...

we think she likes you, right?

Yeah. Yeah, I mean...

I think she really likes me.

I'm... I... I really like her, too.

So, you're a hat girl now?

I mean... I mean, maybe.

Is that, um... a problem?

I'm just... I'm surprised.

You know, you've... you've never expressed

any interest in hats.

I watch your eyes when we walk, when we talk.

You've never even looked at a hat.

Well, I mean, I guess I never really considered them.

Right. But Lesley bought it for me,

- so I'm I'm gonna give it a try. - One last thing...

Do you think you're gonna be a hat person for the rest of your life?

I don't know.

Are we talking about hats?

Yeah. We're talking about hats.

- Hi. - Hi.

We are here to visit my very dear, sweet,

and close 16th cousin Saul Borowitz.

Oh, fantastic. He'll be so happy to have visitors.

Can I have your licenses?

And you'll get your licenses back when you leave.

Great.

You can take him to the commissary,

or any of the communal areas on the third floor.

- Thank you. - He's in Room 11B.

- Thank you. - Thanks so much.

- Do not leave the third floor. - Okay.

Dope.

Maybe he's hard of hearing.

Should we just try to go in?

Let me try something first.

Looks like I'm the magician

even though you're the one wearing that hat.

Okay, I think the door was just unlocked.

Saul? Saul Borowitz?

I'm your 16th cousin Ilana Wexler.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

No!

No, no, no, no.

No. Oh, God.

I knew I shouldn't have stopped at Sephora before I came here!

I'm gonna cover his face up. This is too weird.

- Gotcha! - Oh, my God.

Works every time.

You know, you must be one of those Genes&Me kids.

I can see the resemblance. Look.

That's me as a horny teenager.

See the hair?

I guess.

Have a seat.

- Wow. - Great fun, huh?

Yes. Wild. Wild.

Very scary.

So, like I said, I'm Ilana.

And this is my, um...

Oh, God. She's my everything.

But, you know what, I'll just boil it down to soulmate.

Let's... Let's just leave it at soulmate.

I'm Abbi.

Nice to meet you both.

So, Saul, I'm applying to graduate school,

and I'm writing my personal essay about inherited trauma.

For example, I experience anxiety diarrhea

- three to eight times daily. - Ay, yi, yi, yi.

Now, do you think that somatic expression

tracks back to your horrific experience

somehow, for sure?

No.

I'm gonna write "possible connection."

Okay. So, tell me everything.

I want to hear about mental illness history,

stories from the old country, Nazi shit, anything.

Tell you what.

I'll tell you everything... the whole family, relatives, everything...

if you'll take me out of here for a little while.

I've been cooped up here so long, and you know what?

The food here is horse shit.

Well, the woman downstairs said we could take you

wherever you want on this floor.

Ah, come on. It's so strict down there.

I-I'm sorry, Saul. We can't. I mean, we're just following orders.

Well, I've heard that one before.

Oooooooh!

Okay, okay. We're getting you out of here right now!

Wow!

Yes! Yes.

Oh, uh... this guy had an accident.

Shit was everywhere. We gotta get rid of the rug.

Yep. We're doing it.

Getting him out!

Oh, man.

Okay. I got... I can't do this anymore.

- Wait, wait, wait. Okay. Ready? - Alright. Okay.

- Shit! Shit! - God...

Saul! Saul! Are you okay?!

Great work, girls.

Smell that New York air.

It's like garbage. I love it!

Oh, come on.

So let's get you some real food and get into some real family history.

For example, I want to know...

were your parents mentally ill, like mine?

Listen... Before we get to that...

Could you guys take me to a shoemaker?

- Of course, Saul. - Good.

We'll do you one better.

Ooh! That looks so nice.

Good.

Okay, Saul, now that I've got you in pleasure,