Red Oaks

Ohh-ohh!

Yeah. Air conditioning.

- - Yes.

- Here we go. -

Cheers.

Come on, David. Go ahead.

Yeah! That's the way.

You know, it would have been nice

to have Karen here tonight.

I know, I feel like we haven't seen her all summer.

Everything okay between you two?

Yeah, we've both just been busy.

Judy: Really?

You register yet for your fall classes?

Not yet.

Don't you think you'd better get on it?

There's still time.

I don't know. Some of those courses,

they fill up fast.

Yeah, listen to this.

"Enrollment in the Taxation Seminar

is strictly limited to 20 students."

What are you doing with my course catalog?

I'm trying to get you to read it, David.

It's been sitting on the kitchen counter

gathering dust all summer.

Yeah, I told you I've been busy.

- Doing what? - Working two jobs.

- What's the other one? - Helping the club photographer.

What, that video thing? You call that a job?

Yeah. We have another event coming up.

- What, a wedding? - Bar mitzvah.

That's great. So now you're filming

13-year-olds.

Good for you, kid. Very nice.

Ah, come on, Judy. It's my birthday, for Christ's sake.

Yes, and we want you to be around

to celebrate for many years to come.

Onion volcano!

Listen, David, I know at your age

you think you got all the time in the world,

but you don't.

You've got to start thinking about your future,

showing some initiative.

In the blink of an eye, you're going to be 56 years old,

married to Karen and, God willing,

having my grandchildren to support.

Well, maybe I won't.

Won't what?

Be married, have kids, you know?

Maybe I'll be a tennis instructor.

Then it doesn't really matter what classes I take.

- Oh, no, no, no. - Yeah.

No, I'm not paying for NYU

so you can be a tennis bum.

- Oh, he didn't mean bum. - Bum.

- No, he didn't mean it. - Bum.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

Oh, God. That is the most disgusting...

The Orientals know how to make rice,

but God, they suck at desserts.

- Asian. - What?

Food and rugs are Oriental. People are Asian.

- Says who? - Asian people.

I stand corrected.

Can we please stop this?

We were having such a nice time.

- No, no, no, Judy. - No, we...

No. It's fine, it's fine.

Thank you for setting me straight.

Gosh, I wish you were there

to save me from my faux pas

while I was marching up Pork Chop Hill

fighting alongside the South Koreans.

No argue. Birthday. Happy time.

What's this?

Special drink on the house.

You make good luck toast.

Oh, no, no, no. Thank you. That's very kind,

but my husband's cardiologist does not want him to drink.

This good for heart condition.

Make him feel like younger man.

- What about Mom? - I'm driving.

To a long life and good fortune.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Kanpai!

- Mm. -

- Whoa. - Jesus.

Oh, my gosh, that's strong stuff.

What's that stuff made of?

Humpback.

Again.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- Another one? - Again?

Again?

Again?

Again?

Oh, well, well, it lives.

You and your son made quite a spectacle of yourselves last night.

It'll be months before we'll be able to show our...

Aah!

Aah!

- Dad? - David. Aah! Ow!

Oh, my God, What is going on?

I don't know.

Is that you in there?

Yes. Oh, God.

How did you get in my body?

How did you get in my body?

How did this happen?

I don't know.

What do you remember?

Not a lot.

It's all kind of foggy.

Could it have been something we ate?

I don't think so. Mom ate the same thing we did,

and she feels fine.

Oh, fuck!

Son, there's no need for that kind of language.

Dad, the booze.

- What? - The Japanese whiskey

that weird old dude kept making us drink.

Doing shots is, like, it's the last thing I remember.

That wasn't sake?

Dad.

I can't believe this is happening.

Or how amazing my back feels.

Well, don't get used to it.

What are we going to do?

We'll find the Japanese fella

and get him to switch us back.

Don't worry. I'll take care of it.

I don't know. It feels weird in here.

I feel great.

Where do you two think you're going?

Good morning, Judith.

Our son David has offered

to take me for breakfast this morning.

Are you still drunk?

Ha. Ha ha.

Ha. Oh, no, Judith.

- No. - Just make sure

you're back in time for therapy.

Can we reschedule? I'm not myself today.

Absolutely not.

No, but... but... but...

No buts, Sam. No.

I mean, if you can't do this one thing for us,

I don't know what I'm going to do.

I'm just...

Okay. What time is our appointment?

1:30.

Okay.

See you at 1:30.

Sorry, but none of our chefs fit that description.

Sure you got the right place?

Of course we have the right place.

Don't you remember us? You seated us yourself.

I can't tell white people apart.

Well, do you have any bottles of a Japanese whiskey

called Kachimo or Kachira or something like that?

It has a drawing of a whale on the label.

Never heard of it. Now if you don't mind,

I have to go finish running payroll.

Oh, who's your accountant?

Dad.

Now what?

You've got to go to work.

But it's Saturday.

I only work weekends during ta...

Oh, no. I don't think that's such a good idea.

We have to. Until this thing is fixed,

you've got to go to the club, pretend to be me.

Getty's expecting me. I've been coaching him.

I've got a big bonus riding on this.

I can't teach tennis.

Yes, you can. You taught me. You'll be fine.

And what are you going to do?

Well,

I'll hit every liquor store in the area,

try and find another bottle of that Japanese whale whiskey.

- Good luck. - You, too.

Oh, and, Dad?

Try and be cool, okay, at the club?

And don't say more than is absolutely necessary,

especially to a girl named Skye.

Please.

Hello.

Good morning.

Good morning, fellas.

How's it hanging, dude?

Not as low as usual, thanks.

Hey, where do I park this thing?

The bike rack around the side?

Groovy. Well, have a great day.

Shit. Ha ha.

Dude is higher than Skylab.

Check your metaphors, pinhead.

Skylab burned up on re-entry,

like, six years ago.